Fostering Love
by aeternitas812
Summary: This story picks up where Thor: The Dark World began, when Jane becomes infected with the Aether, and alters quite a bit from that point on. Only in this scenario, the Aether strikes out at everyone, save one exception: Loki. But why would he be the only one the Aether does not feel the need to protect Jane from? Lokane.
1. Chapter 1

Fostering Love

Disclaimers

I do not own anything in the Marvel universe, I just like playing in it.

This story will contain mature, ADULT content, so please do not read if you are not of age.

Author's notes: Let me start with saying that I try to avoid straying from the cannon universe in any fanfiction I write but to create the right scenario for this story to play out like I wanted, I had to tweak things a bit. For purposes of perspective, this story picks up where _Thor: The Dark World_ began, when Jane becomes infected with the Aether (and alters quite a bit from that point on). Only in this scenario, the Aether strikes out at everyone, save one exception: Loki. But why would he be the only one the Aether does not feel the need to protect Jane from? Lokane (obviously). Enjoy!

Prologue

Jane had a secret that nearly no one, not even those closest to her, knew.

She didn't grow up in a normal family. Her parents were not her real parents. She grew up in foster care.

She never knew what happened to her original parents, she only knew that, regardless of the situation, they had left her. It was something that stung to think about even after all this time but she tried her best to keep it far from her thoughts.

It helped that a nice family had taken her in as a foster child when she was 14, so that she did not have to spend the entirety of her childhood in a foster facility. Her new "father" was a brilliant professor, and he had influenced her love for science. It was something that she could love without ever having to question if it loved her back. There was something so freeing in that feeling.

In time, she met Eric and then Darcy. They became her family in ways the family that had taken her in never could; they were always by her side, always sharing her excitement in chasing down another mystery that science might possibly hold the answer to.

When a night in the desert resulted in Jane meeting Thor and becoming enveloped in his life, entire other _worlds_ of mysteries opened up to her and she had felt endlessly exhilarated ever since.

As was the nature of her research, she sometimes stumbled into dangerous territory. The possibility of danger hardly ever served to deter her though, so when Darcy asked her to check out a portal she had discovered in an empty warehouse, Jane never even considered how dangerous such a thing could be. Even when the portal suddenly sucked her into a dark other-worldly dimension, Jane could hardly contain her thirst to discover _more_ long enough to realize she should have been very afraid.

Not that it mattered really, she would figure it out soon enough.

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Chapter 1 - The Aether

As she came to, the first thing Jane became aware of was the harshly whispered voices of Thor and someone else as they argued. She couldn't discern what they were arguing about but Thor sounded really angry. She wanted to open her eyes and ask him what was wrong but her body wouldn't move. What was going on? Where was she? Why was she lying down? Why couldn't she get up? What happened?

Fear was overwhelming her and felt as if it was nearly suffocating her before she became aware of a soothing touch on her forehead. Smooth and cool, it served to calm her, and she could feel her panic recede just a little.

Was it Thor? Trying to open her eyes again, they finally responded to her command, though her eyelids felt heavy. Her eyes blinked open slowly, her vision fuzzy as she tried to adjust to the light in the room.

The first thing her eyes landed on was the man standing above her. She didn't recognize him immediately but she felt a strong sense of familiarity about him. She searched her memory. He was handsome. Tall, fair skinned, and had long black hair that brushed his shoulders. His clear green eyes were beautiful but sent a shiver through her as she looked into them. She couldn't recall ever having felt so exposed before, as if his eyes could see into her very soul.

She broke his gaze as he dropped his hand away from her forehead. Her eyes dropped down and she noted the clothing he wore, which appeared to be mostly black, green, and gold in color, metal and leather in material. The feeling of déjà vu increased and it suddenly struck her. This was Loki, Thor's brother, and the one who had unleased an army on New York.

Alarm rushed through her. Why was Loki here? She thought that he had been taken back to Asgard to be punished for his crimes in New York. But he was right here, standing before her and she didn't know why.

She recalled his touch moments ago and her confusion grew. The way he had touched her, it was obvious that he had been checking to see if she was running a fever. That made no sense given what she knew about him. He detested humans. He had killed so many of them. Why would he care about _her_ well-being?

She felt her strength come back to her slowly, and she managed to turn her head slightly, immediately spotting Thor standing off to the side. He was facing an older man with an eye patch and she realized that he must be Thor's father, Odin.

And that could only mean one thing: she wasn't on Earth anymore. This was Asgard. Her forehead creased in confusion. Why was she here?

She tried to speak, her words coming out raspier than she had anticipated. "Thor?"

She tried to sit up, but found herself too weak to do so on the first try. Putting more force into it, she twisted up from her prone position on what appeared to be an examination table, to look at Thor as he rushed closer to her. She noticed that he stopped just short of reaching her, coming to an abrupt halt a few feet away from her, a distressed look on his face.

Jane looked around and noticed for the first time that it was not only she, Thor, Loki, and Odin in the room. There were also a few women who appeared to be nurses and some men dressed like guards near the doorway of the room. She didn't understand how she got here or why all of these people were here. "Thor, what's going on?" She hated that she sounded a bit scared then but she couldn't help it – she _was_ scared.

Jane listened as Thor explained to her all that had happened. Still feeling a bit fuzzy, she could only gather the gist of it: she had been transported to the dark world, where something called the Aether - which sounded like some kind of alien parasite - had turned her body into its host. Heimdall had noticed her sudden disappearance, alerted Thor, and then transported her to Asgard at Thor's command.

She felt oddly calm despite this new information. She could only assume that was due to the shock she was experiencing.

Lost in her own thoughts, her focus came back to Thor as he explained that the Aether had lashed out at anyone who touched her. She felt her brow crease again as she took in his words. That didn't make any sense. "Loki was touching me just now. It didn't attack him."

A dark look flashed in Thor's eyes as he glanced up at Loki, who stood on the other side of the table she was still on. Thor looked reluctant to answer her, starting to say something and then closing his mouth again several times. Jane had never seen him act like this. Just as she was about to ask him why he wouldn't answer her, Loki answered for him.

"It would seem your body makes an exception for me," he stated silkily, no small amount of smugness in his tone. She thought she heard Thor growl in reply to that but could hardly tell over the roar of her own thoughts at his response.

What the hell did _that_ mean? Her gaze ticked over to Thor, who looked like he desperately wanted to contradict Loki's declaration but was unable to. She looked down from Thor's eyes, noticing the distance between them with new eyes. Desperation radiated from him but he remained a few feet away from her. Almost as if he was afraid to come nearer.

She asked the only question she could manage to filter through the chaos in her mind. "Why would Loki be an exception?"

It was one of the nurses that answered now, but Jane noticed that she stayed far away from her. "The Aether has taken residence inside of you and has integrated itself with your being. It realizes your fragile state as a human, and has decided that any other living thing could be a threat to you and therefore protects you from everyone." The nurses' gaze ticked over to Loki for a moment before returning to Jane. "The only exception it makes is for your other half. In being your other half, that person is part of you, and is not recognized as an outside entity."

Jane felt more confused now than when the nurse first began talking. Her other half? What did that mean? And why would the Aether think Loki was her other half? She looked up at Loki to gauge his reaction to all of this, but he didn't look at all surprised by the information. Instead, he looked down at her with a look of barely concealed condescension, and informed her quietly, "That would mean we are soul mates, if you have not concluded that already."

Amid a twinge of irritation at his tone, Jane felt her heartrate begin to pick back up as this information filtered in. How was that possible? Loki… her soulmate? No. No _way_. There was no way that could be true.

She looked at Thor again, desperately wishing that he would suddenly burst out in laughter at their practical joke on her, but he only looked back at her solemnly, defeat in his eyes.

She felt her heart drop. Thor was the one she was meant to be with. He was her hero. Her knight in shining armor, her every childhood fantasy come to life, and actually _hers_. She sat up suddenly, ignoring how weak she still felt, and stepped down off the table onto the floor. She refused to believe anything they had told her. They were wrong, she _knew_ they were.

Her legs gave out on her as she took a step forward, her body still too weak to support her. Thor rushed to her side, only to be thrown back into a wall with crushing force the instant he touched her. The sudden and unexpected outburst of power dropped Jane all the way to the floor. She was only sitting there for a moment, staring at Thor's prone body lying on the floor across from her when someone suddenly lifted her up against them, supporting her so she could remain standing. She could only assume it was Loki, but she couldn't find it in her to care who it was as she watched while several guards attempted to rouse Thor.

He came-to after only a few moments but she couldn't shake the immense guilt flooding every part of her.

She had hurt him. She hadn't meant to but they had _told_ her that Loki was the only one that could touch her. Was she stupid? Did she honestly believe that Thor had not already _tried_ to touch her and found he couldn't without the Aether attacking him? And still she had tried to touch him.

And she had _hurt_ him.

Tears welled up in her eyes as she watched a guard finally get him back to his feet. She could see blood dripping down the side of his face from his hairline.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, and Thor's head snapped up, a mix of desperation and anger in his stare. It took her a moment to realize that the anger was directed at Loki, standing directly behind her, and not her. She didn't know why though, she deserved it as well.

"It is no fault of yours, Jane. I promise you, we will fix this. Together…"

His vow was suddenly cut short as Odin bellowed out, "No!", the echo bouncing off the palace walls.

Jane jumped a bit in Loki's hold at Odin's booming voice, having almost forgotten he was there. She knew immediately that he was right though. Thor couldn't help her. She wouldn't allow it if it meant she might hurt him again.

As she knew he would, Thor immediately began to argue with his father but she was the one to interject this time.

"He's right, Thor," she said quietly, immediately silencing his outburst. She looked up through watery eyes, hating herself in this moment for having to hurt him further. "You can't help me," she whispered, her voice quivering. Her heart broke further as she looked into his eyes, his expression as pained as if she had physically struck him. "I'm sorry, but you can't. I can't hurt you again. Please don't ask me to."

He looked so helpless in that moment that she nearly wept. She hated hurting him this way but she would take hurting his pride over hurting him physically.

Thor's pained expression quickly turned to anger and he turned his rage back on his father. "What do you mean, 'no'? You cannot possibly be considering sending her back to Earth in her condition! We do not even truly know what ails her. It is not of Earth. Human healers will be useless in aiding her." His anger grew when Odin remained silent.

"You would have her perish?!" Thor nearly spit the words out, as if their very taste was bitter to him.

Odin replied calmly, "I do not propose we return her to her Earth. She will remain here for the time-being, until we can devise a way to remove the Aether from her body. Until that time, you, and everyone else in the palace, are to stay away from her."

Loki spoke up then, and Jane realized that he was still holding her, her legs still wobbly from the outburst of power that had rejected Thor's touch. "Save for me, isn't that right father?" he asked, satisfaction thick in his voice. He was _enjoying_ that it pained Thor to watch his brother touch her while he could not.

Jane felt anger surge through her and used the strength it suffused her with to pull away from Loki and stand on her own. She shot a glare back at him, her tone sharp. "Can you please not use me as a means to hurt him? I've hurt him enough as it is."

He looked a little surprised at her venom but covered it quickly with an easy smile. "That was not my intention, my dear Lady Jane," he replied with sincerity, but she was sure he was lying. It was what he was known for after all.

Turning her attention back to Thor and Odin, she watched as Odin nodded solemnly. "Yes, I am afraid that with the situation being as it is, Loki will be the only one able to tend to Jane. She will need to stay in an unoccupied portion of the palace until we can determine the extent of the threat she poses."

Thor balked at that. "She poses no threat! She is ill, we need to…"

"We need to ensure the safety of our people!" Odin shouted back angrily. "You are fortunate I even allow her to stay here, given the threat she carries within her. If she is to stay, it will be on _my_ terms, away from anyone she can harm until we can remove the Aether from her."

"And if we cannot?" Thor challenged, fear bleeding into the anger in his voice.

Odin cast a cool gaze on his eldest son. "Then her fate will be no different than that of any other human's," he replied with calm indifference.

Jane nearly flinched at his callous reply, realizing in that moment just of how little consequence her life was to him. She may as well have been a fruit fly he was speaking of. Her life was already so much shorter than those of Asgard. Of course it wouldn't matter to him if her already short life span was shortened further.

Real fear twisted through her gut then, sudden and sharp. She felt hopelessness swarm her. It didn't really matter if she died. Not to him. It didn't make her chances seem good.

Without meaning to, she took a step back towards Loki, only stopping when his hands landed on either side of her waist, supporting her suddenly weaker stance.

Thor looked incensed, nearly ready to lash out at his father, but Loki smoothly interjected, "Worry not, brother. I will keep her safe."

While his words sounded kind and considerate, Jane knew his true intention was to rub it in Thor's face that it would be he, and not Thor, protecting her. She felt the urge to slap him but tamped it down. It was becoming increasingly apparent to her that Loki was going to be the only one she would be able to depend on until they figured out how to get this thing out of her. … _If_ they could get this thing out of her… And if that was the case, it would be wise to remain on his good side.

Before Thor could say anything else, she turned away from him and looked up at Loki. His clear eyes met hers and she sent him a silent plea to stop engaging. He looked unwilling to comply for a moment, eager to throw more fuel on the fire, but froze when she reached out tentatively to place her hand on his, squeezing gently.

Any hint of a smirk faded from his face then and he gave an imperceptible nod. "Shall we?" He angled his elbow for her to take hold of but she shook her head. When he only continued to look at her expectantly, she whispered harshly, yet pleadingly, " _Please_." She didn't want to hurt Thor any more than she already had. Watching Loki lead her from the room on his arm would only hurt Thor even more.

He looked a bit annoyed that she was ruining his fun but thankfully said nothing further. Instead, he turned on his heel and started walking away. She was alarmed for a moment but when he cast a glance back at her, she realized that he meant for her to follow.

Taking a fortifying breath in, she turned and quickly bowed in thanks to Odin. She found she didn't really _want_ to thank him but figured it would be considered too great of an insult not to, considering he was allowing her to stay in his home. She cast a quick glance at Thor and gave him the most convincing smile she could muster as her vision swam. The look he gave her nearly broke her heart, so she turned away from him quickly, hurrying to catch up to Loki as he led the way to a remote portion of the castle, tears blurring her vision all the way.

* * *

Background information (PLEASE READ): I am basing the reason for why the Aether would make an exception only for one's soul mate on a myth from Greek mythology. In this myth, it is explained that humans originally looked very different from how they do today. The humans of this myth had two faces, four arms, four legs, and possessed both male and female genitalia. These humans were very powerful and possessed enough strength to rival the gods, so Zeus came up with a solution to the threat the humans posed that also served as a terrible punishment: split the body and soul in half, and in doing so, weaken the human's power. This resulted in humans coming to look as they do today: one face, two arms, two legs, and one set of genitalia. It was the splitting of the soul that caused the humans the most pain, leaving them to feel incomplete and consumed by the intense need to find their soulmate. Considering that the entire storyline of Thor is drawn from Norse mythology, I thought this myth tied in nicely (even though the myth of the soul mate actually comes from Greek mythology, not Norse), and answered why Loki being Jane's soulmate would make him the exception to Aether's attacks. The Aether does not identify Loki as a threat, because Loki is Jane's soulmate, meaning that he possesses the other half of her soul. The Aether protects Jane because she is its host, and since it identifies Loki as a part of Jane, it won't attack him either.

* * *

Well, I hope you liked chapter 1! It was very easy to write and hopefully it continues on that way. The title "Fostering Love" (beyond the obvious play on Jane's last name and the fact that I made her into a foster child in this story) will have more significance as the story unfolds – you will just need to wait and see.

Please let me know your thoughts if you have the time, I would really appreciate any feedback you can provide! I plan to try and update weekly but it would really help to motivate me if I knew people were anxiously waiting for more.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's notes: Thank you to all of you who have favorited this story, favorited me as an author, followed this story, left me a review, or even just took the time to read what I've written so far! I can't tell you how happy it has made me. I'm very excited about this story. In fact, I've loved writing it so much, I have a lot of it written already, but I am constantly re-working it to make it perfect. I actually felt like the first chapter was my weakest of all, since it was all just set-up for the story I really wanted to tell, so please stay tuned!

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Chapter 2 – Favor

The sound of footsteps echoed loudly in the grand expanse of the palace hallways as Loki led Jane to her new quarters, looking for all the world like a warden leading his prisoner to her cell. And she supposed that was what she was now, given she wasn't permitted to leave until they figured out how to remove the Aether from her body.

Jane did her best to keep up with Loki's brisk pace as she tried to take in the magnificence of her surroundings. It was absolutely _incredible_. She had to keep reminding herself to shut her mouth if she wanted to keep from looking like a gaping idiot.

Odin had said that she would need to be placed in an unoccupied portion of the palace, but Jane didn't have any idea where that might be in relation to where she had been. She hadn't seen much of the castle and a tour didn't exactly seem forthcoming now that she was being held in what was essentially quarantine.

Looking at her current surroundings, it would be almost impossible to figure out her way back to the room she had last seen Thor in. Loki had turned several times already, and everything looked the same for the most part; she was totally lost. Not that it mattered. It wasn't as if her wandering around the castle would be tolerated right now anyway. She didn't see much exploring in her future. The thought was disheartening but she figured she should be more concerned with other matters right now anyway.

She glanced back at Loki as he continued to lead her on in silence. It felt so awkward not to say anything to him the longer they were alone together, but she had no idea what to say. How _does_ one make small-talk with a mass murderer, anyway?

' _What's your favorite way to kill someone?'_ an incredibly stupid voice in her head helpfully supplied. She almost laughed until the question reminded her of the story she heard on the news about Loki carving the eyeball out of a man's head in the middle of a crowded hall.

She swallowed hard as a chill ran over her. Not the best thing to be thinking about right now given the rising feeling of panic enveloping her once more. Taking a deep breath in, she slowed her steps a bit, allowing a few more feet to separate her from him. As if _that_ would somehow negate the fact that she was entirely at his mercy now.

Jane sighed. It didn't do her any good to dwell on his past right now. Besides, maybe he was different now? There had to be a reason why he was walking around freely. Maybe he regretted his actions and had repented?

She glanced at him again, taking in his stony expression. He sure didn't _look_ like a man filled with remorse. But then, she supposed that might be a product of his upbringing. Odin didn't exactly hold a lot of empathy for humans, which made it not all that surprising that Loki didn't either. He had been raised by Odin. So had Thor but Thor had told her about how Odin found Loki when he was a baby, and that Loki had essentially been adopted into the family. Given that background, it stood to reason that Loki would feel a stronger need to emulate his new father and win his approval. That might explain why Thor had developed sentiment for lesser beings such as herself while Loki had not. Thor didn't feel the same desperate need for acceptance that Loki did.

An "oof!" sound emitted from her as she ran into Loki's back, having failed to notice that he had come to a stop in front of her. He was so solid, it felt like she had run into a wall. She rubbed her sore nose with her hand as he turned around to face her, an amused expression on his face. Thankfully, he said nothing of her clumsiness.

Jane was about to ask him why they had stopped when she noticed a tall door behind him and she could only assume they had arrived at the room she would be staying in. It certainly seemed remote. The long hallway they had stopped in had no other doors besides this one.

"These will be your quarters for the time being," Loki confirmed. "There is a main living space, a bedroom, and a bathroom. Food will be brought to you, so it will not be necessary for you to leave," he informed her imperiously.

Though he didn't say it, Jane received the implied message loud and clear: _Don't consider taking so much as a step outside this door_.

She nodded mutely, dropping her eyes to the floor when it became too much to continue holding his gaze. When he took a step forward into her personal bubble, Jane looked back up at him quickly, a bit startled by his sudden close proximity. Apparently, a single step was a bit larger for him than it was for her, given how much longer his legs were.

He was studying her critically, and Jane felt panic swarm her again as she struggled to figure out what he wanted. "Th-thank you," she stuttered out, figuring he might be waiting for a response to his generous hospitality. He didn't respond though, and only continued to look at her. Even though she fought it, her eyes darted away from his again, the tension too much for her to bear.

He certainly was imposing close up like this; it wasn't only that was he much larger than her - it was more than that. The power he had seemed to radiate from him, making her feel very small in comparison.

His sudden, deep chuckle caught her attention again. "Are you afraid of me, Jane?" He sounded far too amused by the idea.

"W-what?" she stuttered again, caught off guard by the question. _Damn it_ , the stuttering certainly didn't help her case in proving that she wasn't afraid of him.

Nor did the fact that she _totally_ was.

"No," she replied quickly, meeting and holding his gaze this time, though she was still fairly certain that she looked like a frightened mouse eyeing a hungry snake while doing so.

His lips quirked, and he took a deliberate step forward again, forcing her to back up if she wanted to maintain some distance from him. And she _definitely_ did.

He was still smiling. "I think you are," he countered silkily.

She gulped and steeled her nerves, knowing that she couldn't allow herself appear weak in front of a predator like him.

Falling back on reason like she always did, she shot back, "Well, it would be understandable if I was, I would think. You did kill hundreds of people during your attack on New York. What makes me different from them? Why shouldn't I suspect you might hurt me?"

Something flashed in his eyes but she couldn't tell what it was before it vanished. "Ah, but you are different from them," he responded smoothly, taking another step towards her. She backed up again, hating herself for doing so, but unwilling to let him come so close to her.

"How?" she asked, only just barely managing not to stutter this time.

His smile grew and he stepped forward again. "Did you forget already?" He feigned hurt. "You and I are _destined_ ," he replied with affectation.

Jane found enough courage to scoff. "I know you don't care for humans. Why would you want one for a partner?"

Loki laughed like she must be very stupid. "I _don't_ want one for a partner. What use is there in developing a bond with a creature as weak as mortals are? But any arrangement that causes Thor misery is an entertaining pursuit if nothing else. I don't imagine there's much else that would burn my brother more than me stealing his woman from him."

Jane glared at him, reacting on pure instinct as she shoved him back a step. She felt pleased when she actually succeeded in moving him, even if deep down she knew she had only moved him because he had allowed it.

"I love _Thor._ I don't _care_ if this stupid parasite seems to favor you because I sure _don't_ ," she replied heatedly. Her bravado was short-lived however, as she watched the smile fade from his face, and suddenly she felt very stupid.

He stepped towards her again, more than gaining the distance she had pushed him back, and she discovered that she had run out of room to retreat as her back hit the wall behind her, a gasp escaping her at the sudden stop. Her heart hammered in her chest as she realized she was helplessly cornered. His hands shot forward and slammed against of the wall on either side of her, causing her to yelp and squeeze her eyes shut as she shrunk away from him as much as she could in her current position. She froze there, fearful of his next move.

When nothing happened, she peeked back up at him, watching as an easy smile slid back into place on his lips and he huffed out a laugh.

"Oh, it _does_ seem to favor me, I'd wager," he murmured softly, tipping her head up and then placing the pad of one of his fingers against the side of her throat. She read the move as hostile and flinched instinctively, but then he began dragging his finger down the side of her throat slowly, an almost electric-like shiver following it as it dropped down to trace across her collarbone gently.

She sucked in a sharp breath as her eyes blinked closed slowly in pleasure. She inwardly cursed herself at the involuntary reaction to the unexpected, intimate touch.

He had only been trying to prove a point by showing her how easily he could touch her when others could not, but she had just proven far more than that for him by allowing him to see he how easily he affected her as well.

His smile took on a hint of male satisfaction as he pulled his hand back and turned around, stepping away from her. "In time, I suspect you might as well," he stated with confidence as he left her alone without another word.

Jane watched his retreating form as her legs finally gave out beneath her and she slid to the floor, the power to remain standing gone with him. The feeling of impending doom grew but whether it was the Aether or _Loki_ that she feared would be her ruin, she wasn't sure anymore.

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Thanks for reading chapter 2! If you have time to leave a review, I would really appreciate it! Knowing you guys are loving my work really fires me up to keep writing. Even if you have some constructive criticism or suggestions, I would love to hear those as well, since my goal is to keep getting better. This chapter was a little short, so with some encouragement, I think I might be able to update faster than in a week this time!


	3. Chapter 3

Author's notes: As promised! Here is the next chapter early! It's a little short too but I hope you like it!

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Chapter 3 – Settling In

Jane spent the next few hours exploring her new quarters, pulling open every closet and drawer in search of something to keep her occupied. There wasn't much to distract herself with though, and she quickly found herself pacing back and forth as she tried to wear herself out enough to sleep.

As she was now, she was _way_ too wound up to sleep.

The moment that Loki ran his finger down her throat kept replaying in her head without her permission, a tingle accompanying it every time. She closed her eyes in frustration. _No!_ she admonished herself silently. _It is_ not _okay to tingle over a mass-murdering psycho! And certainly not one that is also Thor's brother!_

She took a deep breath in as she tried to steady the thudding in her chest. She just needed to calm down and review facts of the situation. Facts were always something she could fall back on.

 _Okay, so you are now the host to an alien parasite called the Aether._ A chill ran through her then, as she fully confronted the fact that there was some alien thing _inside_ her at this very moment. Ignoring that very disturbing thought, she decided to focus instead on what she knew about it.

But the problem was that she knew nearly nothing about the Aether, and no one had seemed very forthcoming about it and what it might do to her. The only thing she _did_ know was that it seemed to dislike everyone but Loki, which was probably proof enough that it was something dangerous.

 _Okay, next fact: the Aether seems to have identified Loki as my other half._

Jane decided to set that idea aside for the moment as well. As a woman of science, she wasn't even sure if she believed in things like soul mates. There was no evidence to support the existence of such a bond. And even if such a thing existed, what difference did it make? She would make her own choices, not allow some weird alien parasite to make her decisions for her. Even if it was supposedly only acting on what it already knew to be true about her…

 _Okay,_ next _fact: I can't leave here until they figure out a way to get this thing out of me. Maybe if I know more about it, I can help them figure out a way?_ she postulated.

But how could she ask anyone anything about it when she was confined to her room and Loki was the only one allowed to see her? She sighed. It was obvious that Loki would be the only one she could ask. She hated how much she needed to rely on him now. She had never even wanted to meet the guy, let alone be stuck with him and needing to depend on him like this.

She huffed out a breath in exasperation. The next time she saw him, she would need to find out what she could about the Aether. Her survival was on the line, and she certainly wasn't going to just sit back and let this thing destroy her without trying all she could.

She yawned - it seemed that thinking in depth about her conundrum finally seemed to do the trick as she felt some fatigue settle over her. She had no idea what time it was, there weren't any clocks to be found anywhere in her quarters; the only hint she had that it was late was that it was completely dark outside her window.

Glancing at the bed, she had to admit that her quarters were hardly prison-like. She had never seen such lavish accommodations before. It was certainly a step up from anywhere she had lived before. The bed was large, likely larger than a king-sized mattress, and it was draped with incredibly soft looking bedding in cream colors. There was a mound of pillows at the top of the bed, way too many to actually sleep with. The headboard was beautiful - ornately carved and huge.

She walked to the bed and sat down, nearly sighing aloud at how comfortable it was. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad staying here. Maybe she could look at it as a vacation. She always worked herself ragged. And while that was how she preferred to operate, maybe she could stand to take a short break from it all.

Though it did disrupt the sense of relaxation a bit to recall that the reason for this mandatory vacation was because there was an alien parasite inside of her. It was also hard to feel peaceful when she had no idea how Darcy and Eric were coping with all of this. She had no idea the extent of what they knew about her current situation and she'd been too preoccupied by the news of an alien parasite having taken residence inside her to ask Thor while she had had the chance. For all she knew, they could both think she was dead right now.

Sighing, she laid down, not bothering to remove her clothing. She didn't exactly feel at ease sleeping in her regular night attire, which was really just a t-shirt and panties, when she had no idea when Loki might pop up again. Even though she had locked the door, she doubt that would do much to hinder him. He probably even had a key.

She yawned again and stretched, the exhaustion of the day's events finally pulling her into a deep sleep.

* * *

Thor was pacing madly in the Throne room when Loki finally found him. Loki watched him for a few moments, an amused brow raised at the tense set of his shoulders and the nearly violent whipping of his cape as Thor continued to pace. He was nearly seething and completely lost in thought. This was driving him mad.

Loki smiled.

 _This is going to be fun._ And he could really stand for some fun at long last - he felt like he had been pent up with nothing to entertain him for nearly an eternity now. It seemed fortune was finally smiling on him.

Loki approached quietly and Thor didn't even seem to take notice that there was someone else in the room with him. "Careful Brother, you'll wear a trench in the floor if you persist much longer," Loki mused.

Thor's head snapped up at Loki's words, eyes narrowing in rage. Thor stalked towards him aggressively. Loki stood still, watching his brother's advance with amusement. Thor stopped just short of colliding with him and fixed Loki with an intense stare. "If you dare to lay a hand on her, Loki...," Thor growled, allowing the threat to trail off and leaving the rest to Loki's imagination.

Loki smiled, then wiped the smirk off his face, quickly replacing it with an innocent look. "I would think I was perfectly within my rights to touch her, being that she's my soul mate," he replied smoothly.

Thor's breath seethed and Loki actually wondered if he might try to swing at him. Not too much of a concern as long as he didn't have his hammer.

"She is not your anything. _We_ belong together," Thor finally bit out with barely restrained anger.

"Ah, but it would seem that there is irrefutable evidence to the contrary, dear brother," Loki replied, backing up a step and circling round Thor's rigid form. " _I_ am her soul mate. The Aether would have made exception for no other. You know this. Would you really have her spurn me, and accept _you_ , who is not her soul mate? Could you live with her, with the knowledge that she would never find c _ompletion_ with you?" Loki taunted, finally stopping back in front of Thor with a brow raised in challenge.

Thor leveled Loki with a deadly look, perfectly aware of Loki's intentional double-meaning. "Loki, if you do anything to her…" he started, but Loki cut him off quickly.

"Honestly, Brother, what do you imply? I assure you, I won't do anything to her that isn't welcomed." Loki smiled, watching his brother fight to keep his composure despite the fury he could feel radiating off of him.

"Then you'll do nothing to her," Thor hissed through clenched teeth with heated assurance. "She'd never let you touch her."

Loki smiled. "Do you think?" he asked with mock curiosity as he tilted his head to the side. He smiled at Thor, then spun around, deciding it might be best to back off before he pushed too far and Thor decided to summon Mjolnir.

"I guess only time will tell," Loki added lightly, walking away. "And speaking of," he added in afterthought. "You might want to get to devising a solution for her little problem." He glanced back, locking eyes with Thor. "Otherwise, the issue of time won't really be a problem anymore."

* * *

Author's notes: I'm working on getting the next chapter all ironed out and ready for you guys. Thanks to all of you cheering me on! I can't tell you how much it means to me. Now things will start getting interesting, as Loki and Jane start to get to know each other. As one reviewer mentioned, I intend on allowing their bond to develop before we start delving into why I rated this story MA. And believe me, it will be _very_ MA once we get to that point (I love writing smut). I'll add a reminder of the rating when we start getting into those chapters, since it certainly won't be the faint of heart. ;)


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 – Stir-Crazy

About three days had passed since Jane had last seen anyone. A few times a day, she heard the clink of a tray being placed on the floor in the hallway but there was never anyone there when she opened the door. Each time she finished eating, she placed the tray back outside in the hallway and it would somehow vanish before her next meal arrived.

All of her basic needs were being met but she was going stir-crazy from loneliness and not having anything to do. Her room didn't offer any kind of distraction. No radio, no TV, and worse: no books. She found herself wishing she had her journals, her books, and her equipment. _Anything_ to keep her busy. She couldn't stand just _sitting_ here doing nothing all day.

What made it worse was not knowing if there was an end in sight. She didn't know how long it might take to figure out how to rid her of the Aether. Maybe it would take weeks? Maybe it couldn't be done and she would die...

She closed her eyes, swallowing hard. _Don't think like that._

She opened her eyes again and a startled gasp escaped her, Loki now standing in front of her and somehow managing to look like she was already trying his patience by making him wait.

" _Loki!_ What the hell?! You scared me!" she gasped, a hand pressed to her chest to try and calm her heart back into an acceptable rhythm. "Have you heard of knocking?" she asked peevishly. _Well, that confirms that the lock is useless at least_ , she thought to herself. She'd locked it after she placed her tray into the hallway earlier that morning.

He smirked but otherwise ignored her theatrics. "Thought I would pay the mortal pet a quick visit. Are the accommodations to your liking?" he asked smoothly, seeming to enjoy playing the part of the perfect host.

She nodded immediately, choosing to ignore the rather insulting title he just gave her. "Yes, thank you, everything's great," she replied, her earnestness dying away a bit at the end of her sentence.

He caught the change in her voice and raised a brow at her. "Is there something you need?" He looked slightly annoyed by the possibility but offered anyway. He was incredibly hard to get a read on.

She hesitated, not sure how he would react to special requests but decided it was worth the risk if it meant saving her sanity.

"Um, do you think I might be able to have some books I can read?" When he only raised a brow at her, she continued nervously, "I'm kind of going crazy here. There's no one to talk to and nothing to keep me busy. If you knew anything about me, you'd know that just sitting here and doing nothing all day is just _torture._ " She hated that it seemed like she was whining but she couldn't help it, she was desperate.

Seeming to take some pity on her, he nodded. "I think I can arrange that," he replied slowly. "Anything else?" he asked, his tone betraying the lack of sincerity in his offer. She noticed that he shifted his body slightly towards the door then, and she felt oddly disappointed that he might be leaving already. Sure, she was terrified of him on some level but she was also starved for human interaction. Well, she supposed he didn't quite fit the "human" aspect but at least he was someone to talk to.

Mustering every bit of courage she had, she looked up into his clear green eyes and asked sheepishly, "Do you have to leave already? Can… can you stay here for a little bit?"

A look of astonishment filled his gaze before he quickly schooled his features back into a mask of indifference. "I would think you would be glad to be rid of me," he stated flatly, and it struck her as incredibly sad that he jumped to that conclusion so quickly. While her instinctual reaction wished to contradict him, she discovered she couldn't, because really, how many people really _wanted_ the company of a serial killer?

He quirked a brow at her silence and turned to face her fully. "I can tell you fear me. You are aware of my past. Why would you want me to stay?" He sounded genuinely curious.

She looked down, considering his words, then looked back up into his questioning gaze. Honesty seemed to be the best policy, despite who she was talking to.

"Well, yes, I'm a little afraid of you, I admit, but I don't have anyone else right now," she started. When she noticed his eyes narrow at her slightly, she continued quickly, "I don't believe that you're all bad, Loki. I don't know much about you but I don't think you're a monster." He looked ready to contradict her, so she cut him off, not really wanting confirmation to the contrary. "Well, you might be a monster, I don't really know, but I know that you've taken good care of me so far. You can't be all bad," she reasoned.

He laughed then, seemingly amused by her.

He walked over to her, and she startled a bit when he dropped down onto the bed next to her, and swung his body to lay stretched out on the bed beside her. She shifted quickly, sitting on the very edge of the bed and throwing him an incredulous look at his audacity.

"What are you doing?" she demanded, still shocked.

"Getting comfortable," he replied smoothly. "You said you wished me to stay and chat with you. Did you change your mind?" he asked innocently, raising an eyebrow at her.

He looked like he might really get up and leave if she said yes, so she shook her head quickly. "No, um - Sorry. Please stay."

He smirked and looked up at the ceiling. This was turning out to be easier than he thought. "So, what do you wish to talk about?" he asked with mock enthusiasm.

Her mind blanked at his question. She suddenly had no idea what to say to him. She looked away, trying to think of a topic. From what she had heard of Loki, he had a volatile nature. She wasn't sure what might set him off and what was safe to discuss. She wanted to ask him about Thor, how he was handling this and if he was okay, but she somehow doubted Loki would appreciate that topic of conversation.

In the end, she decided to go with the topic that was at the forefront of her thoughts, it being the most pressing concern of the moment anyway. "Can you tell me about the Aether? Do you know much about it?"

He snorted at that, seemingly insulted. "Of course I know 'much' about it," he replied derisively. "It's one of the infinity stones - an ancient force that is indestructible. It has the power to alter reality and convert matter. What I would give that wield that kind of power…" He laughed bitterly. "With it, they'd have no hope hold me here."

Intrigued, Jane asked, "What do you mean?"

A look of annoyance flashed across his face but he answered her anyway, huffing out an exaggerated breath. "I am on house-arrest. _Indefinitely_ ," he replied coolly. "Penance for my actions on Earth." He scoffed at that and Jane had to bite her tongue to keep herself from saying anything. "I was kept in the dungeon for a while but my sentence was lessened at my mother's request. I was told I could wander freely if I remained on palace grounds and refrained from using my magic."

She threw him an incredulous look at the idea that someone like him was being held to the honor code - a ridiculous notion given his deceptive nature – and he chuckled. "Hiemdall is making sure I stay within his sight. I will be returned to my prison if I attempt to breach the trust I have been afforded."

Jane nodded. She thought his punishment was incredibly lenient given his crimes but decided to stay quiet on the matter, wishing to avoid angering him while they were alone. She wasn't crazy about the prospect of dying.

A now-too-familiar fear manifested itself again in that moment and she decided she should just ask him, even if she wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer.

"Do you think there's really a way to get it out of me?" she asked, fear bleeding into her words as her voice trembled slightly.

He glanced down at her from his position propped up on the pillows, his expression more subdued than before. "I believe there is," he replied noncommittally.

The fact that he didn't elaborate confirmed Jane's fears. There was no plan. They didn't know what to do…

Jane turned away and closed her eyes, feeling the burn of impending tears.

"Am I going to die?"

She hadn't meant to ask him that but there was no taking it back now.

She heard him shift on the bed but had no idea what his reaction to her question had been. She didn't think she could stand to look at him as she awaited his answer. Couldn't bear to see the look in his eyes.

Would it be cold indifference to her mortal plight? Pity? Loathing?

"It is a possibility," came his careful reply at last and she wasn't sure if she was relieved or crushed that he didn't lie to her. She took a deep breath in and ran her hand over the bedspread where she had been gripping it too tightly. The bedding was wrinkled now and she couldn't seem to smooth it out again. Tears blurred her vision, obscuring the imperfection.

He got up from the bed then, seeming to sense she was done wanting to talk. "You should rest. I will check on you again later." She nodded but wouldn't look up at him and he found that it bothered him. She looked so small and fragile. So breakable. He felt a sudden pang in his chest at the sight of her. It was an unfamiliar feeling and so he shook it off. Or tried to, anyway.

"If you need me, just call my name," he added without actually having meant to do so. He didn't know why but he found himself wanting to offer her some form of solace.

Jane nodded and wanted to ask how he would be able to hear her - as far as she could tell, she was far away from the rest of the castle's occupants - but decided not to ask. She knew he had a lot of special powers and abilities, and she wasn't sure she wanted to know the full extent of them right now. Hopefully he couldn't hear her thoughts or see her when he wasn't visually present.

She sighed tiredly then, deciding she didn't really care. Concerns like modesty held little importance in the face of death.

"Thank you," she said softly. "And thank you for staying to talk with me for a bit," she added earnestly, finally looking up into his eyes and offering him a weak smile.

He studied her for a moment, then nodded in acknowledgement and left the room.

Jane breathed out a sigh of relief as his overwhelming presence faded away and she felt she could breathe easily again. He may have been her only option for company but that didn't do anything to improve the effect he had on her senses. He had an intensity about him that seemed to thicken the air, making her feel light-headed.

Even though it was still early, Jane decided to go to sleep then, feeling incredibly drained all of a sudden. She crawled up to the head of the bed and nuzzled into the pillows, desperately trying to ignore how good she thought they smelled now with Loki's scent still lingering on them.

* * *

Well, there's chapter 4! I hope to have the next chapter up quickly since the last few have been a bit on the short side. The next chapter will be longer and allow Loki and Jane more insight into the others inner-workings. If you have time to leave a review, I would love to know if you think I am doing a good job of keeping everyone in character, since I'm really trying to. I try to make sure I can hear them saying the words I write and that they sound natural for the character to say. Jane may be the only exception, since I am purposely trying to make her seem more vulnerable than she does in the movies, where she's a little too unshakeable in my opinion. In this story, there is greater emphasis on the effects of the Aether on her and the possibility that it could kill her if they don't figure out a way to help her soon. I think that would make anyone a bit shaken.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5 – Sympathy for the Devil

Jane awoke the next morning feeling a lot better than she had the night before. She was relieved. She'd been feeling so drained these past few days that she'd been worried she was getting sick, but it seemed to be gone now.

She got up and made the bed, though she wasn't sure who she was worried about seeing the room unkempt. Loki was the only company she might be having and she certainly didn't care what he thought of her.

Regardless, she found herself fixing the bed up nicely, even reassembling the ridiculous mountain of pillows at the head of the bed. She hopped in the shower afterward and scrubbed at her skin with a washcloth until she could only detect her own scent again. Sleeping all night in the same bed Loki had been sprawled out on had had the effect of making her smell like him. Not that it was an objectionable scent. More to the contrary really, but there was still something disconcerting about smelling like him. Probably that she liked it more than she was willing to admit.

After she dried off and redressed, she decided to chance going onto the terrace. No one had said she couldn't – only that she shouldn't leave this room. And even that had been more of an implication than a direct order.

She opened the double-doors and walked out onto the balcony, taking a deep breath in at the sight that greeted her. It was absolutely beautiful. The city-scape was utterly futuristic and gleaming. She felt her eyes dart all over as she tried to take in all the marvelous detail.

She stood there for quite a while, just looking at everything and enjoying the breeze, when she suddenly noticed her vision dim slightly. She blinked a few times to try and clear it but it didn't have any effect.

A deep red started to engulf the scenery, turning the gleaming golds blood red. She backed up, terror flashing through her like lightning. What was happening?

The panic made her head swim and she began to feel feint. She felt her legs start to give out on her and she was sure she was going to fall, but she never hit the ground as a pair of strong arms swept her up like she was nothing and carried her off the balcony. She blinked a few more times, her vision finally beginning to clear slightly as the red faded away. Her vision was still hazy but she saw Loki standing above her now, looking concerned.

He'd placed her on the bed and was standing next to it, leaning over her as he brushed his hand across her forehead and then her against her neck, seemingly checking her pulse. "What happened?" he asked seriously.

Jane sat up and tried to stand, flustered by his overly-familiar touch, but Loki pushed her back down to remain sitting. "You shouldn't try to stand right now," he cautioned.

She nodded - he was right. She'd almost fainted a moment ago, after all. "Thanks," she replied, her voice quiet. She was confused by the way he was acting. Like he actually cared about her.

It suddenly occurred to her that he had just appeared out of nowhere again. "Why are you here?"

She noticed the look he gave her and cringed at her unintentional rudeness. "Sorry, I didn't mean it like that. I just mean… is there something you needed?" she asked awkwardly when she couldn't figure out a politer way to ask him why he had come to see her.

"Actually, I believe it was you that needed something," he reminded her. "I brought you some books, like you requested." He nodded towards the small pile of books he had obviously placed on the table by the door.

Jane felt excitement zing through her at the prospect of finally having something to do and she stood before she could think better of it. Her legs were still weak and she started to fall, but Loki quickly caught her, holding her against his chest as he lent support for her to stand. Jane looked up at him sheepishly. "Sorry. I got excited," she explained with embarrassment.

He gazed down at her, seemingly amused by her. "I noticed," he replied quietly.

Jane felt her cheeks heat up as she noticed how close they were to each other. She quickly looked down from his eyes but her gaze only dropped down to his mouth, causing her to blush harder. He was way too close.

She pushed off of him carefully with his assistance and was able to stand after a moment. Once he was sure she could stand on her own, he walked over to the table, picked up the books and brought them over to her.

Jane sat down on the edge of the bed and he placed the small pile on her lap. She looked up at him and smiled brightly. "Thank you so much, Loki. I can't tell you how much this means to me. I was going crazy from boredom."

She picked up the books and glanced over the titles. She noticed many of them were books on stars, constellations, and galaxies. The others were books of poems and collections of fairy tales. There were one of two novels as well.

She was a little surprised that he seemed to realize what she enjoyed. Or maybe it was just a lucky guess; in any case, she was grateful. She looked up at him again, her voice strained with emotion. "These are great. Really, Loki, thank you."

"You said that already," Loki replied with a small wry smile. He seemed to be genuinely pleased that she was happy with what he'd brought her.

Jane smiled and looked back down at the books, still unable to hold his gaze for more than a few seconds at a time. She didn't understand his effect on her. Not even Thor made her feel like this, nor made her so aware of his presence. There was something about Loki's eyes and the way he looked at that she felt all the way to her core.

Shaking the feeling off, she looked up and noticed that his smile had faded and he seemed ready to leave now that he'd completed his task. She found didn't want him to leave.

"Can you stay for a while?" she asked cautiously. It occurred to her then that he might have better things to do than stay and chat with her. "I mean, if you're too busy…"

Loki laughed at that, cutting her off mid-sentence. "There isn't much to keep busy with in this gilded cage. I'm a prisoner too, if you recall. I just get a bigger cell," he replied sardonically, a weak smile on his lips.

Jane nodded and smiled gently back at him. "Then care to stay for a while and visit with a fellow inmate?"

Loki chuckled at her joke and walked over to sit down beside her. "Why not?" He sighed, plucked one of the books out of her lap, and laid back on the bed. "I figured these in particular would appeal to you," he mused quietly, flipping through the pages of one of the books on galaxies.

"Yes, definitely," she responded happily, readjusting so that she sat cross-legged next to him. "These probably cover constellations and galaxies I haven't even had the chance to study before," she added with excitement.

"These are from my private collection," he informed her. "I have many more if you end up going through them quickly."

Jane smiled, a warm feeling encompassing her at the thought that he was loaning her his own books. "Thanks, I'm sure I will," she admitted.

She looked down at him contemplatively as he continued to flip through the pages of the book in his hand, his eyes skimming over the pages as if he knew all the words already. He was turning out to be absolutely nothing like she had imagined him to be. He seemed incredibly kind and considerate, in fact. She couldn't figure out how this man beside her was the same man that had attacked Thor so ruthlessly in New Mexico or had unleashed an army on an innocent populace in New York. It didn't seem possible that they were one and the same.

There did seem to be a common link though. Thor. Why did he hate his own brother so much?

"Can I ask you a question?" she asked nervously, worried that she might be pressing her luck by prying into his personal relationship with Thor, but too curious to hold back.

"I believe you just did," he stated dryly.

Jane laughed. "Okay, another one then," she replied, sobering a bit as she built up the courage to voice her questions. "Can you tell me what happened between you and Thor? Why you hate him so much?" she asked cautiously, bracing for his angry reply if it came.

Loki sighed tiredly, closing his eyes as if he needed to gather the fortitude to answer her. He placed the book he had been flipping through on his chest.

He remained quiet for a while, eyes still closed, and Jane took the opportunity to study him closely now that she could do so without feeling overwhelmed by his gaze. She'd initially thought him handsome but she realized now that "beautiful" may have been a more apt description for him. Both Loki and Thor were incredibly attractive but their appeal was so different from one another's. While Thor's look was more ruggedly handsome and manly, Loki's look was more striking and darkly refined. Thor seemed to radiate light, whereas Loki seemed to exude seduction.

"It is not something as simple as hate," he answered finally, interrupting her inner-musing. She watched as he opened his eyes and stared up at the ceiling, but his gaze seemed far away. "Thor represents everything I have been denied my entire life. He's been gifted with everything I've ever wanted, ever strived for, even though he has done little to earn any of it. It's more that I cannot bare his existence," he explained wearily.

Jane listened quietly, taking all of this in. It almost sounded as if he still loved his brother but just couldn't get over his feelings of perceived injustice to ever admit it.

"Can you tell me about it?" Jane asked gently, hoping he might open up to her.

Loki moved his gaze to her, scrutinizing her. She seemed to be honestly curious. He supposed it wouldn't hurt to share some of his past with her. Not for a price, anyways.

"I'll tell you if you'll answer my questions as well," he negotiated, and noticed her hesitate. She seemed to be trying to decide if it was worth answering his questions if his own answers would only be lies. He held her eyes and added genuinely, "I promise I'll tell you the truth." He meant it too. He may have a reputation for lies but when he promised the truth, he would deliver nothing else.

Jane felt a sense of foreboding at his request but figured his stipulation was fair. "Okay," she agreed.

Loki smiled briefly, then looked back up at the ceiling, sobering slightly as he decided how much to share with her. There wasn't much point in holding back, was there? It might actually be nice to have someone else see things from his perspective for once.

He took a deep breath in and let it out slowly. It was a long story. May as well start at the beginning.

"Thor and I were raised as brothers but we are nothing of the kind. We both grew up believing that we were the King's heirs and that we had a chance at the throne one day." He hesitated then, his voice lowering. "Thor was the only one correct in that belief, while I spent over a thousand years believing a lie."

Jane felt shock suffuse her. A thousand years?! She knew Asgardians lived much longer than humans but she had had no idea how much older Loki and Thor were in comparison to her. How long did they live?

Loki continued, interrupting her thoughts. "It was only just recently that I discovered I wasn't their family. That I was taken in by them only because my own family had cast me out. The woman I had always believed to be my mother, the man I had always believed to be my father… were in actuality only Thor's mother and father. I am not their son, just a tool with lost purpose and nothing more."

Jane felt tears prick at her eyes, she had no idea how upsetting it must be to spend such a large portion of your life believing one thing, only to find out it had been nothing but a lie the entire time. It must have been traumatic.

"Thor and I grew up believing that we were in competition for the throne," Loki continued, voice still low. "Only, there was no competition. Thor was the only true heir. I was just a pretender that didn't realize he was pretending. I spent my life trying to be devout, just, and a king capable of ruling with sound reason." Loki laughed bitterly then. "I tried so hard, and all the while, Thor only blundered about, causing havoc and instigating war without care. He had absolutely no sense of diplomacy. The only sense he seemed to have was one of a boorish and impulsive oaf. He was completely unsuitable as a ruler. But that didn't mean that he wouldn't still be one regardless."

Loki took a deep breath in, the memories paining him more than he liked to admit. He swallowed, continuing, "It was more than I could bear when father announced that Thor would be King of Asgard despite all his inadequacies as a ruler. I was angry, so I sought to blight his big day. I made it possible for our enemy to bypass the barriers of our kingdom. I only meant to disrupt that blowhard's revelry," he commented, almost as if to himself. "Instead, my actions led me to both discover and reveal what I really was: not only not their family, but their enemy as well."

Jane's brow crinkled in confusion. "What do you mean?" she asked gently.

Loki hesitated, not sure how to explain without revealing he was actually a Frost Giant. He wasn't sure why, but he didn't want her to know what he really was. How much a monster he really was, so he decided to keep the details minimal.

"When Odin found me, it was in our enemy's territory. I was their ruler's, King Laufey's, son, but I had been abandoned and left for dead because I had been deemed too weak to be a suitable heir. Odin said he took me in hope of using me as a means to promote peace between Asgard and their enemy," he laughed harshly at the thought. "As if such base creatures were capable of anything but savagery."

Jane felt her heart throb at his words. His own family abandoned him as a baby and left him to die? And the only reason Odin saved him was so he could use Loki to fulfill his own ambitions? It was no wonder that Loki seemed incapable of trusting anyone.

"It was a wasted effort, of course," Loki continued bleakly. "There was no hope I could have ever served such purpose. It seems the only purpose I've ever served was in never failing to disappoint."

A bitter laugh escaped him and Jane looked away, utterly overwhelmed by everything he had imparted to her. It was all so unexpected. And it all seemed so unfair. Loki had always been painted as the villain. It was an easy label to give someone when you didn't bother to know their side of the story.

And even if he was the villain, she couldn't ignore that he may have been the victim too.

It didn't change what he had done. It didn't make him not a monster for all he had done. But it lent credence to a saying she'd heard before and had always believed to be true.

Monsters aren't born; they're _made_.

Loki continued on, oblivious to Jane's inner thoughts. "Thor managed to disappoint as well, at least, and went after our enemy without a thought. He nearly started a war," Loki seemed slightly amused by the memory. He was silent for a few moments as his humor faded. "Odin cast Thor out of Asgard and exiled him to your Midgard, but it was clear from the start that it was only meant to be a test. A test he somehow managed to pass," Loki added in disgusted disbelief, surprising Jane yet again. She had never known the circumstances of how Thor had ended up on Earth and how she found him that night. He'd been exiled to Earth because Odin had thought him unfit to rule?

It made sense now, though, why Loki had sent that giant armor after Thor. He was fighting to keep Thor away from what he believed to be rightfully his. It didn't make the action noble, of course, but she understood now why he had done it.

Loki had been quiet for several minutes and Jane was about to ask him if there was anything more to their discord but realized that was a stupid question. As if feeling like his false brother had stolen away his family and his crown, leaving him with nothing to call his own wasn't enough to put a chip on Loki's shoulder?

A thought occurred to her then. "Is that why you attacked New York? If you couldn't have Asgard, you would take Earth instead?"

A dark look passed over Loki's face as he contemplated her question. He seemed conflicted about answering her. "I suppose that's one way to look at it," he responded at last, pausing briefly and looking lost in thought. "Though I did have some extra incentive," he added darkly.

Jane's brow crinkled. "What do you mean?"

Loki sighed, seeming agitated by the line of questioning. "I ran into a rather nasty fellow by the name of Thanos after I fell into the abyss," he replied, pausing when he noticed the alarmed look on her face. "Long story," he replied shortly, not feeling up to discussing that unpleasant memory as well. What he had shared with her already was enough to leave a bad taste in his mouth. "He just so happens to be one of the most powerful beings in the nine realms. He's working on gathering the infinity stones so that he can gain ultimate power. He equipped me with the scepter and an army, with the assertion that Midgard would be mine if I brought him the Tesseract."

"And you agreed?" Jane asked incredulously, even knowing he had.

Loki snorted. "If I hadn't, I wouldn't be here telling you this now," he replied evenly.

Jane nodded slowly. Of course. Thanos would have killed him if he had refused. The fact that he had attacked New York only under the duress of certain death didn't exactly absolve him of his crimes but it did change her perception of him a bit. He hadn't done it purely by his own will. He had been coerced.

Lost in thought, Jane was startled when he sat up suddenly and announced, "My turn," with renewed vigor, as he turned to face her.

She was a little unsettled by his sudden enthusiasm. "Okay," she replied hesitantly.

"Why Thor?" he asked, point blank and without preamble.

Jane hesitated, not sure how to answer the question. "What do you mean?" she asked nervously.

Loki huffed and rolled his eyes. "Why did you choose him?" he pressed, confirming Jane's fear that that was what he had meant. She wanted to tell him it was none of his business but she couldn't do that, not when he'd answered all of her questions without protest.

Jane scrambled for a response to his question but try as she might, she couldn't nail down anything solid. Her mind raced through the memories she had of her relationship with Thor. He'd protected her. He was handsome. He was charming. He was like a prince. Well, he _was_ a prince so that made sense. Ugh, all her reasons sounded pretty shallow when she thought of them, really.

Loki watched as Jane wrestled for an answer and decided he wasn't worried about waiting for her answer. Not when there was a more important question to ask. "Have you given yourself to him?"

Jane choked on the air. "What?!" she nearly shouted, shocked yet again by his candor.

He just looked at her, waiting. It was clear she wouldn't be able to avoid answering him. "Well, no, um, we… we haven't really had the opportunity," she finally got out awkwardly.

A harsh laugh escaped him. "For two people in love?" he asked incredulously. "There's always an opportunity," he added darkly.

Jane shot him a disgusted look and chose to ignore that remark. If not because it was inappropriate, then because it stung more than a little to acknowledge he might be right.

Loki looked her over carefully when she didn't answer, seeming deep in contemplation of her. "Either my brother is a bigger fool than I thought, or you just aren't that much of a priority to him," he stated plainly.

 _That stung._

"Stop trying to cast doubt Loki," she shot back in agitation. "He isn't the only one that hasn't been worried about seizing the _opportunity_ , okay? I'm not sure I'm even ready for that yet, and…"

Loki laughed abruptly, cutting her off mid-sentence and causing her to realize her mistake too late.

"Oh, you can't be serious," he drawled with amusement. Jane tensed as his interest suddenly sharpened on her. "Little Jane is not only untouched by Thor but by any man?"

Jane squirmed, uncomfortable with the direction this conversation was taking. "I wouldn't say that…" Jane hedged but stopped when Loki leveled her with a look. She closed her eyes, sighing heavily. There was no denying it. She'd had plenty of dates, but none of them had gotten that far. While it was that way by her own choice didn't change anything.

She opened her eyes. He was still looking at her. She nearly exhaled a growl.

"I just never really had the time to worry about it, alright?" she replied finally, her agitation growing. "I grew up in the foster care system. I didn't have a normal childhood because I didn't have any parents. No blood-relatives willing to take care of me and so I became a ward of the state. When a foster family finally took me in, I was already 14 years old. I was tired of letting my life and my choices be controlled by others. I was determined to study hard and become successful enough that I would never need to depend on anyone ever again," she stopped to take in a breath, realizing she'd been ranting. Embarrassment flooded her but she pushed it back. He'd asked for it after all.

"Sorry, but dating and boys weren't really much of concern," she finished heatedly, annoyed that he was still looking at her, now with a look like she was some kind of rare animal.

Oblivious to her ire, Loki had remained silent during her speech, finding himself surprised by the revelation of the common ground they held. She was like him - abandoned by her real family and taken in by one that was not her own. The fact that she didn't want to rely on her new family revealed that she held the same feelings he did – she didn't want pity or to feel like she was a burden. She wanted the strength to stand on her own and to prove her own worth.

It was something he understood well.

"Any more questions?" she asked with annoyance when she realized he was content to remain quiet, seemingly lost in his own thoughts.

He considered her question for a few moments. "Just one," he replied quietly.

Jane waited impatiently as he seemed to consider his next words. Nothing could brace her for what came though.

"Why do you always look away when our eyes meet?" he asked at last, staring at her as she pulled at a tuft in the bedding in front of her. She prayed he hadn't noticed it when her entire body had tensed in an instant at his words.

"I don't," she shot back defensively, her eyes darting to his and then away again in a vain attempt to prove him wrong.

"You do," he countered easily. "You're doing it right now," he observed, studying her carefully. She felt like one of the specimens she'd study under a microscope as he looked at her. "I used to think it was entirely fear but I don't think that's the case any longer," he added slowly. "So why?"

He seemed truly curious but she simply didn't have an answer for him.

"Why, Jane?" he repeated when she stayed silent too long.

Jane huffed with exasperation. "Why is it so significant that I do?" she demanded, stress filling her voice now that he was poking at a sore spot. She wasn't sure why she couldn't look at him either. Or rather, maybe she didn't want to figure out why.

Loki stood then, apparently done with his little visit. Jane nearly blew out a breath in relief, but tensed again as he stopped at the door.

"I'm not saying it is," he replied simply as he stood facing the door, then he turned back to look at her.

"I'm saying it's significant that you don't," he added smoothly, smiling when she looked up at him, startled.

He winked, then turned on his heel and left, leaving Jane at a loss on how to interpret what he'd just said and feeling like she'd just lost a game she hadn't been aware she was playing.

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Author's notes: I hope you guys liked that chapter! It fought me quite a bit and I still don't know if I'm happy with it but I figured I had kept you all waiting long enough. I'm feeling very happy with the next chapter though, so please look forward to it as things start to heat up!


	6. Chapter 6

Author's notes: I know I promised you guys smut in the next chapter (and I still intend to deliver!) but I wanted to throw this chapter in before we start into all that, because it covers some of the things I really wanted to have happen with Loki and Jane before things start to heat up between them. So consider this a bonus chapter, since I still intend to post the smut chapter on Saturday, as I originally intended. Enjoy!

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Chapter 6 – Illusions

About three days had passed since Jane had last seen Loki but she found the solitude didn't bother her as much now that she had plenty of books to keep her mind occupied. And they certainly had done their job of that. Even though she had begun to feel progressively more drained by the day, she couldn't seem to stop herself from reading during every spare moment she had. And these days, she had plenty of moments to spare.

It didn't help matters that reading was about the only thing she could do to take her mind off her condition, which seemed to be getting worse. And so she had spent nearly every day with her nose buried in one of the books he'd brought her, and every night reading until she fell asleep.

She was deeply immersed in one of the books on galaxies when Loki came to check on her that evening. She was laying on her stomach on the bed, a book propped in front of her. She was so focused on her reading that she hadn't even noticed his presence in the room.

Loki cleared his throat, and suppressed a laugh as Jane nearly jumped out of her skin.

She looked over at him with alarm and watched as he smiled widely at her. "It's fortunate I'm not your enemy. You make far too easy prey," he observed with humor.

Jane slanted an annoyed look at him, her heart struggling to recover from the jolt he'd just given her. "It's nice to see you too, Loki."

She started to get up from her position on the bed but as she tried to prop herself up, her arm gave out on her suddenly. She righted herself only a moment later, pushing herself into a sitting position, but it had taken more effort than it should have. She allowed her hair to fall around her cheeks, hoping it would hide some of the blush she felt forming. He must think she was so clumsy. Glancing up to look at him, she was sure he'd be laughing at her but when their eyes met, she only saw concern in his.

"I'm okay," she quickly assured him, though she wasn't sure she was. What _was_ that? It was as if all her strength had left her in that moment. She swallowed thickly, fear building fast as she considered that it was likely the Aether.

It was draining her.

Loki watched her closely, a deep frown on his face. "No, you're not okay. You look tired. Have you been resting at all?"

Jane felt a bit sheepish as she realized she _hadn't_ been sleeping very much these past few days, probably only a few hours each night. "Yes, but I guess not as much as I should be…," she admitted.

Loki's gaze hardened as his eyes landed on the book next to her. He realized she had likely been neglecting sleep so she could read. He looked at her sternly. "You know you have an insanely powerful entity sapping at your very life force and you push yourself for something like this?"

Jane wanted to shrink into herself. "I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to make it worse. I guess I just got carried away. I've never had the chance to study galaxies outside of Earth's solar system before."

Loki's eyes softened as she spoke. Even her voice sounded weaker. She needed to rest so she could replenish her strength. He glanced down at the book laying open next to her, and an idea came to him.

"If I show you something worthwhile, will you promise to sleep the rest of the night?"

Jane felt intrigued. What did he mean by worthwhile?

"Okay," she agreed hesitantly, curious to see what he had in store for her.

She watched as he walked over and sat down next to her. He turned so he was facing her and brought his eyes to hers. "Lay down," he instructed, nodding his head to show that he wanted her to move over before doing so. She cast him a funny look and he grinned at her, amused by her distrust. "I'm not going to do anything to you," he assured her. She watched him skeptically for a few more moments but then scooted over and laid down as he instructed. Jane felt her body tense up as he laid down next to her. What was he _doing_? Alarm filled her as the room went completely dark. She was about to question him when he raised his hand in the air, aiming it toward the ceiling. Suddenly, a million tiny lights came to life in the air above them, filling the room with a warm glow.

The lights swirled and danced, forming the exact galaxy she had just been studying. It was amazing. Every star and constellation was there, perfectly formed above them. Jane was awestruck, completely unable to speak as she took it all in.

Loki turned his head towards her and smiled at the awed expression on her face. "I take it you like it then?"

Jane nodded, unable to tear her gaze away from the spectacle floating above her. "It's incredible, Loki. How are you doing this?"

Loki looked away from her and back up at his illusion. "It's my gift. Magic. A trick of the light really," he explained.

"How does it work?" she asked, still staring at the mini-galaxy above her, afraid it would vanish if she looked away.

Loki smiled. Of course she would want to know how it worked. That was how _she_ worked. "I'm able to manipulate particles of light to make optical illusions," he explained. "Make you see things that aren't really there or change your perception of what is really there." He looked over at her again, a warmth filling him as he watched her gaze at his creation as if it was the most incredible sight of her entire existence.

"It's amazing," she breathed.

Loki was still looking at her, studying her as she gazed up at the false stars. "It comes in handy sometimes," he admitted quietly, finding that he'd never felt so great of an appreciation for his ability until that moment.

Jane smiled. "Thank you for showing me this. I can't even explain what it means to me." She looked away from the galaxy above her for a moment as feeling overwhelmed her but immediately returned her eyes to it, her vision slightly wavy from the tears that had formed. "I had started to believe I would never feel this way again. The thrill of discovery, seeing something for the first time…" she trailed off and he understood her trepidation instantly. She was scared they wouldn't be to remove the Aether from her. She was afraid she would die here and never have the chance to discover anything new again.

Loki watched her in silence for several moments. It struck him then how truly beautiful he found her. Not only because of her appearance, but because of her strength. She stood in the face of death, and she had not broken. She was fighting it. Defying it with her refusal to give in.

It was admirable.

He felt a sudden appreciation for humans he had never felt before. He'd always thought them below him, too weak and short-lived to matter in the scheme of things.

But he realized he had been wrong. It took true strength to live and die as they did, and still seek purpose, still remain strong.

Loki swallowed and looked back up at the mini-galaxy swirling above them. He had underestimated them. _Her._

A pang of true regret resonated in his chest then. He'd felt it before, when the army he'd unleashed on Midgard was reducing the city to rubble. Thor had pleaded with him to help him end it.

The memory came back to him with perfect clarity. Thor and he had been standing on the rooftop, the city falling to ruin around them. Thor still hadn't given up on him even then, and Loki had felt true remorse for failing the faith Thor still held in him after all he had done. Tears had fallen from his eyes in that moment, Loki as powerless to stop them as the army he'd unleashed.

The words he had spoken then echoed in his head. _"It's too late. It's too late to stop it."_

He had been remorseful then, but it had been for the sake of Thor. Now, he felt remorse for the lives he'd taken as well. He looked over at Jane, still utterly captivated by his creation.

How many of them had wanted to live as desperately as she did?

Loki closed his eyes and swallowed hard as a rush of remorse threatened to crush him with its weight. It reminded him of why he always strived to control his emotions. To not feel. Feeling remorse for all he'd done would serve no purpose now but to destroy him.

Because it _was_ too late. There was no going back. No fixing it. There was no point in feeling remorse because there was no redemption. Not for him.

His own words echoed in his head again, haunting him.

" _Can you? Can you wipe out that much red?"_

Loki sat up then, suddenly too disturbed to remain where he was. Jane sat up as well as she noticed the sudden change in him.

"Are you leaving?" she asked, finding yet again that she didn't want him to go.

"You should get some rest," he replied shortly, looking paler than he normally did. It bothered her that he wouldn't look at her.

Jane looked up at the galaxy still floating above her head. A very rash idea came to her then and Jane, being who she was, ran with it.

"Can you stay with me? Just until I fall asleep?" she asked him cautiously.

Loki looked over at her, a little more than thrown by her request. When she only looked back at him with earnestness and vulnerability shining in her eyes, he found himself completely unable to deny her. Even if it meant denying his own desperate need to get as far away as possible from anything that reminded him of the sins he'd committed.

He pulled off his long jacket, threw it on the chair next to her bed, and laid back down beside her. Jane scooted over a little closer, almost touching him now.

Loki looked back up at the stars as they lay there quietly in the dark. He wasn't sure why, but he found himself speaking to her softly then, telling her stories of how the constellations had come to be named as they were. Jane listened intently, watching at he pointed out the constellations as he spoke. It wasn't long before the deep thrum of his voice had lulled her to sleep.

Loki looked down at her as he noticed her breathing even out and become deeper. She'd turned to lay on her side at some point and was facing him now, her hair spread haphazardly over her face. A small smile pulled at his lips as he brushed her hair back to lay behind her.

As he pulled his hand back to him, he saw it was covered in blood. Fear ricocheted through him. He shot up in the bed and looked down at his hand again, but it was completely clean.

An illusion?

Had he created it himself or was his mind playing tricks on him?

Loki looked down at Jane. She was still sleeping peacefully beside him.

He should leave. He shouldn't be here.

He stood, pulled his jacket back on, and turned to cast one last glance at her. A memory from the day he'd met her suddenly came to him, when he had accused her of being frightened of him. Something had changed since then. She held no such fear of him now. She even seemed to trust him.

That was wrong. She was wrong. She _should_ be afraid of him.

Everyone should be.

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Author's notes: Man, this story has developed a life of it's own and is quickly turning into an epic, as one reviewer wished it to do. But you know what? I freaking LOVE it. I hope you guys all love reading it!


	7. Chapter 7

Author's notes: This chapter contains adult material, so please do not read if you are not of age or if you find such material offensive.

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Chapter 7 – Fever

Loki spent the next two days determinedly avoiding her, fighting his own insistent urges to go check on her. He found himself becoming increasingly unsettled by thoughts of her. He'd begun to change too much because of her…

He felt haunted by his past and a heaviness had settled in his chest, refusing to budge no matter how much he tried to shrug it off.

He couldn't be developing feelings for her, because developing feelings for someone was synonymous with developing weakness. Caring for someone meant handing them the power to hurt you. He couldn't do that. Not again. He'd made that mistake too many times already, giving people the power to wound him, but he had been young then, too foolish to realize his error. Things were different now. Sentimentality was a _base_ emotion. Useless in furthering his purpose.

Prior to meeting her, the only times he had felt remorse was in regards to Thor and Frigga. Now that he'd started to… he was feeling remorse for all those he'd killed as well. She was making him weak.

And she could _only_ make him weak. Only cause him pain.

She was mortal. She would be dead _long_ before he'd lived even a fourth of his lifetime.

And she would be gone and he would still be here, broken and weighed down by the grief of her loss.

He stopped mid-pace, sucking a deep breath in. So it was simple then, wasn't it? He would make sure she survived this, and then she would go back to her world, and he would go back to his. In the meantime, he would just need to ensure that she didn't affect him any more than she already had.

He needed to remain on his guard around her. She was dangerous. Even if it was in an entirely different way than him.

Keeping that in mind, he decided he should finally relent and go check on her. He was the only who could and he needed to make sure she wasn't keeping up her foolishness of refusing to rest when she so sorely needed it.

As he arrived at her door, he decided to knock this time, recalling her reactions the times he had shown up unannounced. Nearly half a minute passed but no response came. He waited a few seconds more before deciding to hell with it.

He strode in the door and stopped immediately as he realized the room was pitch black.

That was strange.

Turning on the light, he made a quick scan of the room and found her laid out on the bed, fully dressed. He thought it a bit odd - it was early for her to go to bed, especially given her night-owl tendencies. But maybe she'd taken his insistence that she needed to rest to heart? It seemed too sensible to be true.

He approached the bed quietly, trying to avoid waking her, but immediately noticed how flushed she looked. Unwelcome concern flooded him and his brow creased. He reached out to shake her shoulder. "Jane," he called her name, but she didn't wake.

" _Jane_ ," he called again, more insistent this time, but she remained unresponsive, her breathing labored.

He placed his hand against her forehead and then her throat. Her skin was burning hot all over, and her pulse was weak. Her eyes fluttered open for a split second at his touch, but they were completely black.

The Aether was overwhelming her.

Unfamiliar fear surged through him. Not bothering to question that reaction right now, his mind raced, considering his options. Filling the tub with cold water would take too long given her current state. It also might be too much of a shock to her system in her current state.

Accepting the inevitability of his next actions, he stripped his clothes off with haste, letting his form shift back into that of a Frost Giant as he removed them. His pale skin turned a deep blue, and his eyes bled to brilliant red. Forcing himself to ignore his hatred for this form, he set to work stripping the clothes from Jane's limp body. She barely registered the rough treatment, only eliciting a small moan of displeasure when he lifted her up long enough to remove her shirt and bra.

He pushed any wayward thoughts to the back of his mind. He was doing this to aid her, nothing more. His cold skin held the ability to lower her temperature quickly, and he needed as much skin exposed as possible for the treatment to have the most effect.

His gaze landed on her underwear, the last article of clothing on her, but he decided to leave them in place. They wouldn't prove enough of an obstacle to bother removing. Besides, leaving them on would allow her to hold onto at least one last shred of modesty.

An inner voice questioned why he should care about her human concerns of modesty at all but he keenly ignored it.

Lowering himself down onto the bed beside her, he turned to face her, scooped an arm around her waist, and pulled her to lay on top of him. She seemed to rouse for a moment, but it appeared it was only a reflex to the sudden change in temperature as she remained unconscious. He made sure that he was touching as much of her as possible as he ran his hands up and down her arms, sides, and back, anywhere he could reach, attempting to transfer some of his frostiness over her too-warm skin.

He sifted his hands through her hair and pulled it to one side, smoothing his hands over the back of her neck and down her spine, all the while staring at the ceiling and willing his body not to react the nearly-nude woman lying on top of him. This was not the time to become aroused, Jane being in the state she was, and he had more honor than that at least.

Still, his body seemed to refuse his insistence that it listen to him and wouldn't ignore how soft she was and how perfect she felt against him. Her heat was almost too much for him despite the ice that ran through his veins, and he felt as if she was warming him as much as he was cooling her.

Nearly a half hour later, he noticed that her temperature had begun to return its normal state. He lifted one of his hands from her back to sift through her hair, hoping to get some kind of response out of her. She stayed asleep, but she seemed to be mostly recovered, her breathing more even now.

He shifted back to his normal form now that it seemed safe to do so. He didn't want her to wake and find him looking as he had. She'd never seen his other form before, likely did not even know anything about it, and he didn't wish to frighten her after all she had just gone through.

Another pass of his fingers through her hair finally seemed to do the trick and she shifted slightly. Loki grit his teeth as the move rubbed her against his growing arousal. He willed his body to obey again but it seemed even his own body was determined to defy him. He needed to get out of there before she woke up.

Just as he moved to transfer her to the bed, Jane shifted again and made a small noise. His breath froze as she lifted her head a bit and met his gaze. Her eyes were a bit hazy, the fever still affecting her. She placed a soft hand against his naked chest without seeming to realize his lack of dress, propping herself up just a bit.

"Loki?" Confusion was evident in her voice; she didn't seem to have a clue as to what had happened or was happening in that moment. "What…" she couldn't seem to gather her wits about her as she looked around at her surroundings slowly.

"Jane," he replied quietly, gaining her attention again. He felt it best to explain things to her before she jumped to conclusions. "Do you know where you are?" he asked as gently as he could, trying to gauge her level of lucidity.

She looked around and then back down at him, still not really seeming to realize her position on top of him given her too-calm demeanor. "In my room," she replied after several moments consideration. She scoffed weakly then, her tone sarcastic, "Where else would I be?"

He smiled slightly and nodded in affirmation. He wasn't sure why but he liked the fire in this woman. "What's the last thing you remember?"

Her eyes clouded in confusion again as she tried to recall. "I… I laid down because I wasn't feeling well. I thought I might be getting sick because I felt hot and dizzy all of a sudden."

His smiled faded and he shook his head. "You aren't ill. The Aether is becoming too much for you. It was overwhelming you. It was lucky that I found you when I did. You were burning up and completely delirious."

She took in this new information and nodded, looking troubled by the idea that the Aether was slowly becoming too much for her body to handle. "Thank you," she said quietly, looking back down into his eyes. When he only looked at her, she added, "Well, I assume you helped me feel better. What did you do?" she asked as she pushed up slightly, trying to sit up.

She emitted a startled squeak, immediately plastering herself back onto him to hide her breasts. " _Loki!_ Why am I _naked_?!" she half-whisper, half-yelled, trying to avoid notifying the entire palace of the current situation. She glanced down at that moment, something seeming to have occurred to her, and squeaked again. "Why are _you_ naked?!"

He chuckled, unable to stop himself, and she fought the urge to smack him.

She had never felt so conflicted in her life. She felt compelled to leap away from him but was too horrified by the thought of him seeing her naked to move even so much as an inch. It hit her then that he had likely already seen her naked since it would seem he was the one who stripped her - he was the only one there and the only one who could touch her after all - but it was a very different thing for him to see her naked when she had something to say about it.

She glared down at him, awaiting his answer and struggling to ignore that she could feel him _everywhere_ against her. She shoved that thought to the back of her mind and refocused on him. " _Loki?_ " she asked again expectantly.

His humor at her embarrassment evaporated quickly as he realized his situation. He sighed, closing his eyes. There would be no avoiding revealing to her what he really was now. Not if he didn't want her to think the worst of him. And he found he truly didn't want that.

Opening his eyes again, he leveled her with a steady gaze, hoping to convey his sincerity. "I assure you my intentions were not lascivious. I had to strip both of us to maximize the amount of contact." When she only looked at him more confused, he continued. "You see… I… am not just as I appear to be," he started slowly, gauging her reaction. She waited silently for him to explain further.

He exhaled a breath. Why was this so hard?

"I… well, I am not of Asgard. You know that Thor and I are not brothers by blood. When Odin found me, it was in the land of our enemy, the Jotunheim, the realm of the Frost Giants."

Jane seemed to be processing everything he said but surprisingly didn't seem horrified to learn that he was even more alien than she had previously believed. "So that means you're a Frost Giant?" Her brow crinkled a bit as she swept her gaze over him. "That doesn't really make sense. You don't look like a giant."

He sucked in a deep breath to steady his growing agitation. Of course she would ask questions. It was in her nature.

"I am not in my Frost Giant form now," he replied slowly as if explaining this to a dim-witted child, hoping she would allow him to leave it at that.

Of course she didn't. And while she bristled at his tone, her eyes lit up a bit in curiosity. "What does it look like?" she asked, her interest so obvious he nearly rolled his eyes. The woman was too curious. Didn't the mortals have a saying about the danger in humoring such a proclivity? He couldn't quite recall, but if they did, she certainly didn't seem to heed it.

He hoped she would be satisfied with a rough description. "They look much the same in regard to anatomy but their skin is blue and tougher than ours, so as to better withstand the harsh environment of the Jotunheim. Their bodies maintain a freezing temperature, which is why I transformed. My much lower body temperature was able to lower yours quickly," he explained.

Jane's eyes softened. He truly had been trying to help her as best he could then, she realized.

Seeing that she didn't seem to be angry with him anymore, he continued. "Their eyes are red. Their bodies are much larger than those of humans or those of Asgard. While my skin and eyes change color when I transform, my size remains the same. It seems I was the runt of the litter," he added bitterly, loathed to admit an inadequacy of any kind. "Which was likely why I was abandoned."

Jane felt her heart throb a bit at the acrimony in Loki's words. It was clear that he felt pain from the thought of not being wanted. It was a pain she was familiar with herself, even if she didn't know the circumstances of her own abandonment. She knew well how lonely and unwanted it could make someone feel.

"Loki," she said gently, placing her hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry."

She watched as his expression changed from one of distaste to one of mild surprise. The look was fleeting and his expression hardened a moment later. "There is no need for you to apologize," he stated simply.

He shifted then, no doubt trying to adjust to a more comfortable position, and she was reminded of her precarious position on top of him. Despite that, she found she wasn't ready to move yet. She knew her next inquiry would not be met with good humor but this might be the only chance she got. "Can I see it?"

Her eyes soaked in his reaction as his own narrowed on her.

" _Pardon_?"

 _Oh, yeah,_ definitely _irritated._ Steeling her nerves, she asked again, "Can you show me? Your Frost Giant form that is?"

He regarded her warily for a moment, holding her gaze with suspicion. When all he saw was an intense curiosity reflecting back at him, he sighed wearily, closing his eyes as he nodded his ascent.

As much as it pained him to allow her to see his original form, he found himself unable to deny her request. It was purely derived by her curiosity, with no ill-will intended. She simply wanted to see him, and that knowledge was enough to overcome his shame, as it was replaced with the need to please her.

Jane felt her heart leap a bit in excitement as he closed his eyes. Slowly, a deep blue color overtook his normally ivory-colored skin. She held her breath in awe as she watched a few intricate designs appear as well. They were beautiful and she wondered if they held any particular significance. She would need to ask him later. She didn't want to push her luck by pestering him with all of her questions right now.

Loki felt the façade fade, the blood in his veins turning to ice. Slowly, he opened his eyes and looked up into hers. His head still rested against the pillow at the top of her bed, his long, ebony hair spread haphazardly around him. His eyes, once a beautiful, clear green, were now a burning crimson color. It felt odd to her to realize she should have found him frightful in that moment. Instead, she only could find him eerily beautiful.

It seemed Loki mistook her awed silence for something else, however, and immediately shifted back to his regular form. He regarded her with cool green eyes again. "I could have told you that you would regret your request, but with your stubbornness, I doubt you would have listened," he stated dully.

She shook her head then, ignoring his not-so-subtle barb. "No, I wasn't…," she hesitated, knowing she couldn't allow him to think she'd loathed his true form when she hadn't, but uncertain as to how to explain it. "I don't regret it. I actually… think you looked kind of beautiful," she breathed out nervously, not sure why she decided to tell him that as embarrassment filled her.

Loki laughed then, his body moving slightly as a result, and Jane choked back the noise she nearly made in response. He was pressing into her in spots she didn't want to acknowledge, let alone respond to. She felt her cheeks flame.

"Am I to assume that that means you do not find me beautiful now?" He asked, a wide smile making him look much more open than he had a moment ago.

A giggle escaped her, tension easing out of her with his shift in mood. "I don't think you need anyone else stroking your ego, Loki, you do it quite well on your own," she replied with humor.

His eyes lit up in mischief then, and she felt his hand slide down her side to grip her ass, shifting her slightly as he flexed his hips against her, causing him to press into her in just the right spot. She couldn't help the gasped exhalation that escaped her. It seemed he was just as affected as she was by their position, if the large, stiff cock pressing into her was any indication.

"Oh, I assure you, my dear Jane, I could always use some more stroking," he replied silkily.

Jane eep'd at his actions and words, sitting up suddenly. It seemed she had forgotten she was nearly nude, and immediately covered her breasts with her hands, looking around frantically for her clothing, while trying to figure out how to dismount him without using her hands for balance.

Chuckling in amusement at her reaction, Loki sat up as well, closing the distance between them. She was just too much fun to ignore.

Jane nearly groaned aloud at what the shift in his position did to her. She was still straddled over his crotch and now that they were both sitting up, she found he pressed into her more firmly than before. She wrapped her arms protectively around herself, determinedly looking anywhere but at him. Unbelievably aroused and horrified at the same time, Jane was frozen in place.

Loki couldn't help but think she looked just like a frightened rabbit in that moment. And he certainly didn't mind playing wolf if that was her game.

Loki cupped her cheek with his hand, turning her head to face him. When she refused to meet his eyes, he leaned in and whispered, "Jane, look at me," into her ear softly, his breath warm against her skin.

She couldn't help but feel that he said her name as deeply and seductively as he could on purpose.

Finding herself unable to deny him, she looked up at him then, and felt herself being pulled into the crystal-clear depths of his eyes. She watched as he inched closer to her, his features blurring as he got too close to focus on. Somewhere in the back of her mind, a voice screamed at her that she should be trying to get away from him, but she found she couldn't care. Her eyes fluttered closed as he slid his hand over her throat and into the hair at the base of her neck. She shivered at the caress, her breath trembling. A tingle erupted over her skin as he finally touched his mouth to hers softly. The caress felt like it set off an electric current that ran from her lips into her core, and a small noise escaped her in response.

A noise Loki seemed to take as encouragement.

He pulled her tighter against him, wrapping his arm around the small of her back and tangling his other hand in her hair. His kiss became more insistent, his lips moving against hers hungrily and nudging her own open. A small moan escaped her and he used the opportunity to slide his tongue inside her. Jane whimpered, overwhelmed by the dual-assault on her senses, his tongue in her mouth and his cock pushing insistently against her barely-shielded core.

She broke away after several moments, panting, and pressed her hands against his chest. She just needed a moment. A moment to think.

What was it she should be thinking about?

Loki smirked at her disheveled state and lowered his head down to her neck, running his mouth over column of her throat, leaving a wet trail of kisses over on skin. When he laved his tongue over her pulse, Jane moaned again and arched into him, unwittingly pressing down against his lap and grinding against his erection.

Loki groaned as well then, biting down on her neck lightly and arching up into her in response. Jane moaned and then yelped as Loki suddenly flipped them over and lowered her down onto the bed. He hovered above her for a moment before taking her lips again, his tongue sliding back in eagerly and meeting her own as one of his hands moved to her breast, kneading it roughly and teasing her nipple.

Her legs rose up to cradle his hips automatically and she whimpered into his mouth as he rolled them against her in response. Intense pleasure tingled through her, making her tremble beneath him. She could feel every glorious inch of him against her through the slick fabric of her underwear, and she only wanted _more_.

Loki pulled away suddenly, allowing her to catch her breath, and looked down into her eyes, his own breathing heavy. Guilt had been tugging at him for several minutes now and he couldn't continue to ignore it any longer as he took in her trembling and exhausted form. She was hardly in any shape for this kind of exertion now. She needed rest.

And he needed to stop _now_ , before he found himself unable to.

Jane seemed to catch the sudden resolve in his eyes and tried to pull him back down to her. It took every last shred of his will to grip her wrist gently and stay her efforts. He met her eyes resolutely but kept his words gentle. "You need rest, Jane." A crooked smile pulled at his lips. "And I hardly think this counts."

Jane shook her head, still too consumed by the feeling of him against her to listen to reason. "I feel fine now. I feel better because of you." She squirmed under him and he had to bite back a groan.

His will wavered momentarily, but he remained firm. "And for that I am glad, but you need rest. Your body is struggling as it is. It does not need added stress."

When she still looked unconvinced, he decided he would need to force her compliance. It was a low blow but it was the only thing that might dissuade her. "And then there _is_ the matter of Thor," he added dully, his tone nearly accusing.

Jane stilled then, looking lost, and turned her eyes away from his. She felt as if he had poured a bucket of ice water over her.

As she came back to her senses, she couldn't believe what just happened. What had _almost_ happened… She hadn't even fought him. She… she had actually wanted it. _Still_ wanted it. Still wanted _him_.

What did that say about her when she was supposed to be in love with Thor? Was she really so fickle?

Shame flooded her and she nodded mutely in response, unable to look at him now. Loki felt his soul tear a bit at the perceived confirmation of her true affections. _Of course_. She wanted _Thor_ , not him. Thor just wasn't an option at present.

And what was he, _always_ , if not second best?

He rose from the bed suddenly, somehow fully clothed in less than an instant. Jane dragged the covers up over herself hastily, since he hadn't deigned to clothe her as well. Though she didn't appreciate his sudden coldness, she supposed she deserved it.

Shame, regret, and profound loss flooded her, making her dizzy again with the intensity. She pulled the blankets against her more tightly and watched as Loki turned away from her and walked to the door, stopping just in front of it.

He cast a glance back at her, all of his previous warmth gone now. "Get some rest," he commanded in a hard voice. "I will check on you again tomorrow, to make sure your condition has remained stable."

It stung that he seemed to feel the need to clarify his motivation in returning but she nodded, still silent.

"In the meantime, I will consult with Odin and Thor," he continued imperiously, setting off a spark of panic as she took in his words.

Loki saw the look of fright in Jane's eyes and turned away. "I'm not going to tell him. I need to inform them that your condition is worsening. We will need to figure out a solution soon, or…" he stopped suddenly, turning his head slightly back to glance at her, unable to finish the sentence. For her sake or his own, he wasn't sure.

Jane dropped her eyes to the floor. She no doubt knew what he had been about to say. He felt an inscrutable need to comfort her, but shoved the feeling down. He would _not_ be ruled by something as frivolous as _feeling_.

Turning back to face the door, the words escaped him unbidden. "We will find an answer, Jane," he assured her quietly, hoping she believed him.

He wasn't sure she did; worse, he wasn't even sure if she should.

Opening the door, he let himself out, ignoring the intense pull to return to her and hold her until he had eased all her fears.

* * *

Author's notes: Sorry this chapter is a little late. I wasn't feeling very well most of today so I spent a lot of it asleep. I just wanted to take a moment to thank you guys for continuing this journey with me. I can't tell you how much fun I am having writing this story and how much it means to me to hear you enjoy it. I feel like my heart could burst with happiness with every review I receive. I'm not sure exactly how long this story will continue, but I can tell you that I have at least 5 more chapters written so far (all of which are rough and in the process of being reworked), and a resolution still looks quite a bit far off from what I have, so we still have quite a ways to go! Hope you stay with me!


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8 – Doubt

Jane spent the entirety of the next day reading. Or at least trying to.

But no matter how many times she read the same line of her book, the words couldn't seem to penetrate the fog that had settled inside her head. Feelings of guilt kept plaguing her, breaking her focus.

It made sense that she felt guilty for betraying Thor. She almost welcomed it. It was what she deserved, after all.

But it wasn't only Thor she felt guilty about. She felt guilty about Loki too. She hadn't meant to hurt him, and it was obvious she had. She hated herself as she recalled the way he closed off when he saw how she reacted to the mere mention of Thor's name.

And the sad truth was, she had only reacted so severely to Thor's name because until Loki had mentioned him, she had forgotten about him entirely. It had startled her to have someone _else_ remind her of her loyalty to Thor, and she had been shocked at how easily the person she supposedly loved had been pushed from her thoughts.

It made her question whether she actually loved Thor at all. She had never believed herself to be in love with anyone else before she met him, so she wasn't entirely sure she could even say she knew what love was. _Was_ it love she felt for Thor?

Or was it just infatuation?

She had a growing sense it was the latter, and that Thor was just the first guy that had ever turned her head. She'd never given men very much focus in her life. She'd been more preoccupied with making sure she could fend for herself and pursuing her passion for science. Thor had literally come out of nowhere and turned her world on its head. He was magic and mystery. He was gallant and charming. And she had completely fallen for him without knowing hardly anything about him.

Was that love? She couldn't say for sure.

And then there was Loki. Her supposed soul mate. She couldn't deny she felt something for him. And that feeling could be described in a word: _intense._ From the moment she had met him, she had _felt_ him like no one else she had ever met before. As if his sheer presence had a physical effect on her. She could _feel_ him without him ever laying a hand on her.

And when he did…

Memories from the night before flashed through her mind and a shiver ran through her body. There was no denying that _that_ had been intense as well. _Incredible_ , in fact.

None of the small intimacies she had shared with Thor had come even close to comparing to Loki's kiss, let alone anything else he had done to her last night. In fact, just thinking about it was enough to make her blood heat with desire again.

She had _wanted_ to feel violated after she came to her senses, to feel like she hadn't let him touch her willingly. But she realized she didn't feel that way at all. The only thing she had felt afterward was overwhelming guilt and a damnable urge to do those things all over again.

She felt the slight burn of tears in her eyes. If she loved Thor, would she be having thoughts about his brother like this?

Is that what someone in love would do? She didn't think so. Love couldn't possibly be so cruel.

Jane hugged her arms around her body as a lonely feeling crept over her. She may have realized she didn't love Thor, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt to realize it. She felt like she'd just lost something precious…

Sighing deeply, she tried to shake the feeling off. It wouldn't help matters. This was for the best. There was no future with Thor no matter how this ended. She knew that even before this whole mess began. He was a prince destined to be king of another world. He would be expected to marry a woman from _his_ world, probably someone of noble birth at that. She would never be accepted as his queen. The people of Asgard would never accept her.

And as much as it stung to think that, she couldn't help but feel they would be entirely right in that belief. She _wasn't_ good enough for him. He was too good for her. Too pure and too perfect.

 _She_ was so far from perfect it was laughable. She was broken and damaged, and she feared that damage would only tarnish his shine. She didn't want to do that to him. Especially if she didn't love him.

So… she would just have to accept that Thor could only be what he had seemed to be from the very start: just a beautiful dream that couldn't last.

As much of a relief as it was to realize all of this, she realized the true battle would be in convincing Thor to let her go. He was headstrong. He wouldn't listen to reason if she told him that it was for his own good that he needed to let her go. He would fight for her because he was the hero, and he would want to save her. And it pained her to realize she didn't _want_ him to save her. Not from this.

She let a deep breath out, some of the tension easing out of her with it.

At least she didn't need to worry about any of this with Loki. He didn't love her, she was sure of that, if nothing else. She was just a toy he was amusing himself with, all the more fun because she was a toy he had stolen away from his brother. He had said it himself the first time they met.

While she hadn't appreciated the idea that he was only using her for his own entertainment when he first declared it, she found it bothered her even more now. As crazy as it sounded, she felt as if they had been bonding these past few weeks and that maybe they had been getting closer.

She doubted he considered her a friend, but she had hoped he at least thought of her as more than just a toy to pass the time.

And maybe he did?, she thought hopefully. The hurt he displayed last night wasn't something someone felt if they didn't care at least a little. Maybe he _had_ begun to care for her?

A flare of warmth lit in her chest at the thought. Her brow crinkled. Did she _want_ him to care for her? Like _that_?

The sound of the doorknob turning caught her attention and she stood up from where she had been sitting on the bed, the book beside her long forgotten.

A smile pulled at her lips. "Loki," she started to greet him but she went silent and the smile fell from her lips as she took in who stood there.

"Thor."

He stopped in the doorway, frozen in place as he took in the sight of her. He looked at her like he hadn't seen her in years _._

"Jane," he breathed.

Jane felt her heart ache at how he said her name. She hadn't expected to see him so soon after her realization. She wasn't ready to face him yet. Didn't know how to explain…

She took a deep breath in and the oxygen seemed to help her think clearly again. "Thor, why… how are you here? I thought you weren't allowed to see me?"

He swallowed thickly and smiled at her like she was the greatest thing he had ever seen. A twinge formed in her chest. "Are you not glad to see me?" he asked, his voice sounding troubled by the thought.

Jane shook her head quickly. "No! No, that isn't it," she hurried to assure him. She truly _was_ happy to see him. "I just…. I don't want you to get in trouble just because of me."

His smile faltered but returned a second later. "Just because of you? Jane…," his words died off as Jane's gaze suddenly shifted away from him, her peripheral vision having caught sight of something. She watched in stunned silence as Loki strode through the open door, looking completely unaffected by the sight of Thor standing in her chambers.

He still looked as closed off as he had the night before, his face impassive and cold. Pain resonated in her chest at how distant he seemed now. He hadn't even looked at her yet.

Fear flooded her suddenly as she realized he might tell Thor what happened between them. He had said he wouldn't but she wasn't sure she could trust that anymore.

Loki walked around Thor casually, coming to a stop in front of her and purposely placing himself between them. He snorted elegantly. "Sorry, am I interrupting the heartfelt reunion?" he asked mockingly.

"Loki," Thor growled. "Leave us. After your report last night, I only wanted to see her long enough to ensure she is well."

"Well, she _isn't_ well," Loki spat back angrily. "You know that and you do nothing. So why are you _here_ , brother?" Loki looked him over disdainfully. "Come to say goodbye?"

Jane flinched. "Loki, stop it," she pleaded.

Thor looked like he was in physical pain. "You know I am doing everything I can, Loki," he replied through gritted teeth.

"But that isn't true," Loki contradicted instantly. " _Is_ it?"

Jane looked between them, confused, then looked back at Thor. He was glaring daggers at Loki. "Thor?"

Thor looked away from Loki to her, his gaze softening. He looked hesitant to answer her. He swallowed hard and took a deep breath in as he tried to calm his anger enough to answer her. "Loki claims he would be able to find an answer to removing the Aether if we let him free," Thor explained, his tone making it clear what he thought of that suggestion. He shifted his gaze back to Loki, his eyes hard again. "But he's lying, he's only using this as an opportunity to force our hand and allow him to escape his punishment."

Jane looked from Thor to Loki. They were staring one another down, looking ready to tear into each other at a moment's notice.

She wasn't sure whether she believed Loki had been telling the truth or not. There was really no way to tell with him. But she knew the fact that Thor wasn't willing to take the risk hurt.

She pushed that feeling aside. He needed to do what he felt was right. He had more than her to think about, after all. He had his responsibilities to his kingdom to consider. "It's alright, Thor," she assured him. "I know you'll find the answer." She smiled at him as genuinely as she could muster. He stared at her like he was fighting against himself to stay away from her. "I'll be okay," she assured him quietly, too afraid her voice might break if she spoke louder. She hated lying to him.

She had no idea if she would be okay…

Thor stared at her, looking utterly torn between his duty to his kingdom and her. It was too much. She couldn't take him looking at her like that for another second.

"Please go," she choked out. "Before someone finds out you're here and you get in trouble. Please. I'll be okay, really." She didn't want him to see her like this.

 _Please leave._

Loki moved the stand in front of her suddenly, blocking her from Thor's sight. "She asked you to leave, brother. It seems as if it's the least you could do, considering," he added coldly.

Jane clenched her jaw but said nothing. She wanted Thor gone. If Loki being cruel is what it took, then so be it.

She heard the door close a few moments later. She let a deep breath out, clenching her eyes shut as she pushed the pain down inside her. She didn't want to hurt him. Didn't _want_ to push him away.

But it was for the best. It was…

She looked up finally, relieved to see it was only Loki in the room with her now. He was still standing in front of her, still facing away from her. She felt like he had never been further away before…

She started to speak, not sure what she should say, but he suddenly began walking away from her, heading towards the door. "Loki!" she called after him. She didn't care that she could hear the desperation in her voice. She couldn't bear him leaving this way.

He stopped but didn't turn to face her. "What?" he asked coldly.

Jane felt her heart drop. He was still angry and she wasn't sure what she could say to fix it.

He turned to face her, his face a mask of cold detachment. " _What_ , Jane? What do you need from me that my brother is not able to satisfy? _He's_ your savior is he not? Tell me, what need do you have of me?"

Jane flinched at his harsh words, suddenly realizing her error. She'd told Thor that she knew _he_ would be able to save her, completely disregarding Loki's efforts. She felt like an idiot. She hadn't meant it to sound as if she believed Thor was the only one trying to save her.

Loki might be the only reason she was even still alive right now.

She looked up into his eyes and reached out to grip his hand, desperate to get through to him and knock down the barrier he'd put up between them. "I need _you_ , Loki," she replied emphatically, squeezing his hand. And she truly meant it. She wasn't sure how she would have been able to make it through all of this if it hadn't been for him. She owed him an apology.

She dropped her eyes, causing her to miss the fire lighting in his at her admission.

"I'm sorry, Loki, I didn't..." her words cut off as he pulled her against him and pressed his lips to hers desperately. A tremor ran through her, pleasure racing through her veins at the feel of him against her again.

 _Yes._

She opened her lips without hesitation and Loki seized upon the invitation instantly as he slid his tongue inside her. Jane moaned and then gasped into his mouth as he lifted her effortlessly and pressed her roughly against the door. The same door Thor had just walked out of not five minutes ago…

Jane pulled away from him, pressing her hands against his chest as she panted for breath. She looked up at him, ready to tell him that they needed to stop, but her words froze as she looked in his eyes. No trace of coldness remained, instead she only saw hunger and desire in his darkened gaze.

"Jane," he breathed huskily, and she felt herself being pulled back into him as her will faded away to nothing. His lips met hers again, and she felt it all the way down to her toes as he licked the seam of her lips and slid his tongue back inside of her slowly. Jane whimpered and clenched her legs around his waist and he returned the favor as he thrusted against her wantonly.

Finally, Jane broke away again, gasping. She forced herself to refocus. She couldn't let this keep happening when she and Thor were… whatever they were, still. She needed to break things off with him first before she did anything like this with someone else.

"Loki, please. Just-" she said breathlessly, barely able to get the words out as Loki continued to kiss her neck. He stopped suddenly, looking up at her as he heard the note of something other than passion in her voice.

He let her go and stepped back from her. She nearly wanted to whimper at the loss, but she reminded herself this was exactly what she needed – space to clear her head so she could explain all of this to him.

"I'm sorry," she started, feeling like she owed him an apology even though she only wanted to postpone doing things like this until after she had gotten a chance to talk to Thor properly. "I can't do this to Thor, he doesn't deserve this," she began to explain, but as she looked up at him, she realized she'd said precisely the wrong thing yet again.

He looked back at her with vacant eyes, all care and passion gone from him. His entire demeanor had changed.

"I understand," he replied formally, ice coating his words.

No. No, he didn't. He didn't understand.

Jane shook her head, ready to tell him he was wrong, that he didn't understand her at all if he thought she was rejecting him, but he stepped around her and was gone before she could utter a single a word, the door nearly slamming shut behind him.

Jane stood there in silence for several moments. She almost went after him, but decided that it would be pointless to try. She had no idea where he'd gone.

Not that it mattered. He thought she'd rejected him. He wouldn't listen to her now.

Jane fell back down on the bed, and stared down at the floor unseeingly. She'd felt so relieved when he'd stopped shutting her out. And now, she didn't know if he'd ever let her back in.

A deep pain formed in her chest. This pain was more than feeling like she'd lost something precious. This pain felt as if it tore at her soul.

* * *

Author's notes: Around the same time I posted the last chapter, I was working on piecing this one together. I hadn't decided if Thor was going to defy Odin and come to see Jane in this chapter for sure yet, but my decision was made when I saw that one of my awesome reviewers had noticed Thor's absence and attributed that to the possibility that he didn't truly love her. While that is a very workable angle, I much prefer it when both Loki and Thor are in love with Jane. That way, Jane is truly forced to choose between them. If Thor didn't love Jane or if he cheated on her, that would disqualify him as possibility in my mind. That makes the path to Loki and Jane ending up together far too easy for my tastes. I think it's much more interesting and satisfying to have them both be in love with her, so that Loki truly has to win her heart. It does make me feel bad for Thor though. I love him too, just not nearly as much as Loki. Sorry, Thor! You're dreamy but so is Loki and Loki just pulls at my heartstrings in a way no one else can.


	9. Chapter 9

Author's notes: I'm sorry this chapter is a little short but I promise the next chapter will make up for it (and then some)! ;)

* * *

Chapter 9 – Fear

Almost an entire week had passed since he last saw her and still she hadn't called for him.

She was being obstinate.

He had wanted to go and check on her more times than he could count, but decided that after her fairly straightforward rejection of him last time, he wasn't going to lower himself by going to her unsummoned.

He had more pride than that.

His pride jabbed at him then, reminding him that he _had_ checked on her several times that week, but only after she'd fallen asleep. She hadn't suffered another episode since that night and for that he was grateful. Her condition seemed to have stabilized. Maybe her body was adjusting to the new strain placed upon it.

Lost in contemplation, Loki stopped pacing suddenly as her voice cut through the fog of his thoughts.

 _Loki._

His brow creased. It was the middle of the night. What could she need right now? Panic shot through him as he realized that might mean something was wrong.

He materialized in her room, startled to find her lying on the floor, unconscious. She must have called out for him right before she fainted.

He picked her up, easily cradling her in one arm so he could feel her forehead. He wasn't sure why he even bothered to check; he could feel the heat coming off of her through her clothing. A sheen of sweat coated her skin.

It was worse this time.

Several long strides found him in the bathroom and turning on the spray of water to its coldest setting. He laid her down on the bathroom floor, quickly tearing off his clothing and then hers, leaving her thin tank top and underwear in place.

Picking her up again, he stepped into the shower and under the spray, allowing his form to change in the same instant. He pulled his fingers through her hair gently, making sure to wet it thoroughly. Getting her head to cool down was pivotal over any other part of her. Otherwise, she might suffer lasting effects. Brain damage.

Once she was fully drenched, he leaned back against the cold marble wall, and held her close to him as the water continued to cascade over them. He took a deep breath in, feeling like it was the first breath he'd taken since he'd discovered her. As he held still, he became aware of a thudding within his chest. It was his heart – and it was beating more erratically than it ever had before.

Was he afraid for this woman?

He looked down at her at her limp body in his arms. She looked so incredibly fragile. Like she might break if he only tightened his hold around her. She still hadn't roused, but she was alive. He could feel her heart beating against him and it served to soothe the staccato rhythm of his own.

Sliding down the shower wall, he sat on the floor, making sure to keep the water spraying on her body but off her face.

Cradling her in his lap, he waited for her to wake up.

It hadn't taken very long last time…

But more time slipped by and still, she didn't waken. He hugged her to him more tightly and cupped her jaw, tilting her face up so he could look at her.

"Jane," he implored softly, ignoring the raw desperation in his own voice. He weaved his fingers in her hair, trying to untangle the wet mess it had become. She didn't stir.

His voice shook as he said it again. " _Jane._ "

Nothing.

He swallowed hard as fear bloomed in his chest. Humans were so incredibly vulnerable. Maybe it had been too much for her to recover from this time…

His eyes burned. He closed them as his fist clenched, his nails biting into the palm of the hand not holding her. The physical pain momentarily dulled the torment he felt inside and so he clenched harder. Blood streamed into the water and flowed down the drain, the crimson traces vivid against the white marble.

He felt _powerless_.

He felt his Frost Giant form fade away suddenly, the blood in his veins returning to its normal temperature. He hadn't changed back intentionally...

Was it despair?

Time passed. He didn't know how much. It could have been minutes; it could have been hours.

And then he noticed the faintest movement.

At first, he thought he had imagined it, but then she moved again, just barely succeeding at raising her head from where it rested against his bare chest.

"Loki?" she called his name weakly. He froze, his eyes riveted on her.

Jane strained to sit up a bit more, but stopped when she saw a thin trail of blood streaming from his clenched fist where it rested on the shower floor.

"What happened?!" she cried, grabbing his hand gently and inspecting it. Bloody crescent-shaped wounds marred his otherwise perfect skin. She looked up at him, confused. "Loki? Why did you do this?"

He only continued to stare at her. He hadn't even blinked yet. It was almost like he was in shock.

Worried now, Jane opened her mouth to question him again when he suddenly snapped back to life, sweeping down and sealing his mouth to hers.

Jane struggled to process what was happening as clarity of thought returned to her. He hadn't come to see her in so long and now here he was, kissing her with an intensity that overwhelmed her.

Her immediate thought was to pull away from him. She didn't want to cheat on Thor. He didn't deserve that kind of disrespect when he had been nothing but good to her. She owed him an explanation and she needed to end things between them _before_ she did anything like this with someone else. Let alone his own brother.

Or maybe that would never be okay, no matter what the circumstances. It would no doubt cause Thor pain. She didn't want that. She should pull away. She should stop this, but she found herself completely unable to.

There was something about the way Loki was crushing her to him, while still managing to hold her so carefully, that she couldn't bear to push away. The mere thought of doing so made her want to cry.

He held her like she was the most precious thing in existence to him.

And so, she found herself kissing him back, his desperation somehow bleeding into her and fueling her own desire for him.

Pleasure raced through her but she couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. There had been desperation in his kiss before but this was different somehow.

It was almost as if he thought she might fade away into nothing if he let go of her.

She felt a tremble travel through him suddenly and he gripped her tighter. Her heart ached.

Was he afraid?

Desperate to console him, to reassure him she was really there, that this was really happening, she ran her hand up his chest and into the hair at the base of his head, gripping onto it and pulling him closer to her. He kissed her more deeply in response, running his hands over the bare skin of her thighs to pull her more tightly against him, eliciting a moan from her.

He pulled away from her abruptly at the sound. He stared at her for a few moments, his eyes still half-wild. Jane stared back at him, unsure what had happened.

He dropped his head back against the shower wall, his breathing heavy.

"Loki?"

He wouldn't look at her and Jane felt her worry increase. "Tell me what's wrong."

He remained silent. She reached out and touched her hand to his jaw gently. "Loki," she tried again, unable to mask the pain in her voice.

Why wouldn't he speak to her?

He raised his head at last, his eyes locking with hers, but they were shuttered now and she could read nothing from them.

He closed them a moment later, shaking his head. "It's nothing," he breathed, his voice was closed-off.

She was about to challenge him when he stood suddenly, sweeping her up in his arms and holding her against him as he stepped out of the shower stall. Startled, she'd didn't even have a chance to react before he set her down on her feet and grabbed a towel, draping it around her.

She was so distracted with worry for him that she hadn't even bothered to wonder why he was here, or why he had been holding her in the shower, both of them naked yet again. Well, she was only almost naked, as she noticed that she still had on some of her clothes on. Jane blushed as she realized he was _very_ naked. S _till_. She averted her eyes quickly to be polite, even though he didn't seem concerned with her seeing him.

Loki looked her over as he grabbed a towel to dry himself off with. She was still a bit flushed but her temperature had returned to normal at least.

For the moment, anyway.

It was getting worse though. She probably wouldn't survive the next time.

Loki turned from her then, his outfit materializing around him instantly as swept out of the bathroom. He was nearly out the door of her living quarters before Jane caught up to him.

"Loki! What - where are you going?" She felt she was owed a bit more of an explanation than he had provided her so far. She didn't understand what was going on.

He stopped in his tracks at the sound of her voice, and turned back to face her, studying her silently. He seemed to see her and not see her at the same time. Jane felt the urge to cover herself as he stared, realizing only a small towel covered her.

Loki was oblivious to her discomfort, too lost in his own thoughts.

This was the woman Thor loved, was it not?

She was _dying_ and the stupid clod had done absolutely nothing to rectify that. It was ludicrous. If it was he, himself, that loved her, there was nothing in the _nine realms_ that could stop him from finding a way to save her…

He would do _anything_ to save her. And yet Thor allowed a weak, old man to wield this woman's fate.

His failure to act would be her death…

…Loki would not make the same mistake.

Coming out of his thoughts, Loki turned from her and opened the door, stopping only long enough to answer her.

"To correct my brother's oversight."

Confused by his reply, Jane started to ask what he meant but he was gone before she could say a word.

* * *

Author's Notes: Ah, Loki is so cute when he pouts. I can totally see him doing something like refusing to go see Jane unless she called for him directly. Even though he was being a pill, it's easy to see why. Thor is already a major sore spot for him. Loki feels like he's lost _everything_ that ever mattered to him to Thor. As he comes to care for Jane more and more, it will bring his insecurities to the surface, as he fears losing her to Thor as well.

As a note to one of my reader's that asked if there will be any action/fight scenes in this fic, I'll just say I'll try my best. I've never written an action/fight scene before since I tend to stick to romance/drama/angst-y stuff, but I've never written a fan-fiction this long before so we'll see how it goes. Right now, I have no idea how this will end, and quite honestly, that freaks me out a bit, but I think it's definitely going to call for some intense action if my gut is telling me right. Hope you stay with me! Oh, and as a last note, I would just LOVE it if you could tell me if there has been a particular line and/or scene you have really liked so far. That will help me figure out what I'm doing right and hopefully I can deliver more goodness from that! Thank you all!


	10. Chapter 10

Author's Notes: Warning - this chapter earns my story its MA rating. Proceed with caution... and possibly a cold shower. ;)

* * *

Chapter 10 - Desperation

Loki paced back in forth in his room, still fuming over the conversation that had just taken place between himself, Odin, and Thor. As he'd already known, they'd gotten no closer to figuring out how to remove the Aether from Jane's body and Loki found himself growing increasingly frustrated with their ineptitude.

Loki sucked in a deep breath and exhaled it in agitation, closing his eyes as he forced himself to stop pacing like some kind of caged animal. Though he supposed that was a fair summation of what he was.

Again, the thought that he could save Jane if he could just leave Asgard for a short time taunted him. Growling, he turned, ready to go vent some of this frustration on Thor, when an idea suddenly struck him.

Heimdall was ultimately the only one tracking his movements. If he could convince Heimdall to allow him to leave for just a little while, he could nearly guarantee he'd find an answer. He had allies in nearly every one of the nine realms - many of them powerful beings that might know a way to remove the Aether.

A rush of purpose flowed into him and he was off instantly, headed in the direction of the Bifrost. It was late enough that is was unlikely anyone but Heimdall would be aware of his movements.

As he approached the gate, Heimdall watched his advance warily. He appeared to have been waiting for him.

"You are aware that you are not permitted to leave the palace," Heimdall reminded him authoritatively.

"I have a bargain," Loki replied smoothly, his customary smirk falling into place as he watched Heimdall narrow his eyes. "I can save her. But to do so, I need to leave Asgard. I have many powerful allies in the nine realms. _One_ of them will have the answer."

Heimdall remained quiet but Loki knew the guardian had a fondness for Jane he could exploit. He _needed_ Heimdall to cooperate - it was the only way he could save Jane. Well, not the only way, but any other option would surely lead to an order for his execution. Though he already knew that if it came to that, he wouldn't hesitate.

He'd sooner risk losing this pathetic existence than risk losing her.

"We wait any longer, and she _will_ die. Her condition worsens by the day."

Heimdall remained stalwart, challenging, "And what consequence is one mortal's peril to a prince of Asgard?"

Loki grit his teeth and felt the urge to deny that it held any consequence to him. It wasn't in him to admit weakness, and by now, he'd realized that was what this was. But he decided that lies would serve him no purpose now. Weakness or not, he couldn't stand idly by and accept losing her.

Not if he could save her.

His eyes dropped down momentarily, then lifted to meet Heimdall's penetrating, golden gaze again. His own eyes turned glassy. He swallowed hard as his throat became tight. When he said the words, he meant them with every fiber of his being.

"I don't want to lose her."

Heimdall studied Loki critically for several minutes, and Loki felt his hope waver. His head dropped.

His reputation as a trickster would not be forgotten so easily. Heimdall wasn't going to give in.

"Alright," Heimdall breathed, and Loki's head snapped up in surprise. Heimdall activated the Bifrost, then looked back him with fire in his eyes. "But if you do not return, you will regret my mercy."

Loki grinned, relief flooding him. "Understood."

* * *

About three days had passed since Jane had last seen Loki.

She'd thought about calling for him so many times but could never bring herself to do so. She still felt ashamed about how she'd acted the last time she saw him. And the time before that. And the time before _that_ ….

She groaned, rubbing her hands over her face in frustration. She'd made breaking up with Thor a million times harder than it already would have been by making out with his brother. _Repeatedly_. How the hell was she supposed to explain _that_ to him? Even she didn't understand it.

She sighed. Well, that wasn't entirely true. She was hesitant to admit it, even to herself, but she knew she was beginning to care for Loki. Her feelings had gone beyond just mere attraction. She knew he'd done some horrible things in the past but now that she'd gotten a chance to know him, she wondered how many of those things had been driven by pain rather than malice.

It didn't make him good. It didn't even make him decent. But it made her… feel for him.

She sighed again, feeling unusually tired tonight. It was earlier than she would normally consider going to bed but she decided an early night might be good for her, considering she how exhausted she'd felt lately.

She decided on a shower first, and went to the bathroom to turn the water on, allowing it to heat as she undressed. Stepping under the spray of luxurious warmth, she decided this was exactly what she needed. She could feel the tension draining from her body as her muscles slowly relaxed.

After about fifteen minutes, she decided that was probably enough and stepped out of the shower to dry off. The incredibly fluffy towels she was provided with actually did an amazing job of getting her hair dry. She found she didn't even miss her hair dryer anymore.

Stepping out of the still-steamy bathroom, she walked back into her bedroom, and came to an abrupt halt as she noticed a dark figure standing in the middle of her room.

A startled breath rushed out of her as her heartbeat skipped and then tripled into overtime. " _God!_ Loki! Are you trying to scare me to _death_ here?!"

He only stood there, looking at her with a strange expression.

Annoyance built inside of her at his silence and she quipped harshly, "Can't even wait for the Aether to do me in?"

Even as the jab left her lips, she felt a pang of regret - it was a pretty insensitive thing to say, no matter how heartless Loki usually seemed.

Several moments passed but no customary smile or rebuke came, and she couldn't help but feel something was incredibly off. "Loki?" she asked, her tone betraying her worry.

He stepped forward then, almost as if her saying his name had acted as an invisible tether and pulled him to her.

"Are you feeling well?"

She couldn't help but notice the real concern lacing his tone as he finally spoke. Stunned, she nodded slowly. "Yeah, I'm fine, Loki. Maybe a bit tired but fine," she admitted hesitantly.

Jane reached up and gripped the towel wrapped around her and startled slightly. She had been so surprised by his sudden presence in her room and then by his strange concern for her that she'd forgotten it was all she was wearing. Heat flooded her face and she stammered, "Um, j-just give me a minute, I'll be right back."

She turned to her closet with the intent to grab some clothes to change into in the bathroom, but as she placed her hand on the doorknob, she sensed his overwhelming presence directly behind her. Her heartbeat sped up as her body responded to his proximity. "Loki?" she asked nervously, confused by his actions.

He remained silent but she felt it as he brushed his fingers through her hair softly, her scalp tingling in response. She heard his deep intake of breath as he leaned into her and breathed in deeply.

Tingles broke out over the rest of her, and she turned to face him slowly. She felt her heartbeat speed up again as she met his eyes. He was acting so strangely. "Loki? Is something wrong?"

His crystalline eyes stared into her, and she felt again that his gaze was so much more powerful than anyone else's that she had ever met. It was as if he could see _into_ her, past every barrier she had ever erected around her heart.

If eyes were the window to the soul, maybe that was why she had such a hard time meeting his. Because if she believed in soulmates, she might have been persuaded to believe she _was_ his.

She dropped her gaze and tried to take a step back, but Loki closed the distance instantly. Jane felt the heat rise between them and knew she needed to stop this before it started this time. "Loki," she started, her voiced sounding weak. Pleading.

Loki didn't back away though and only placed his hand on the side of her throat, tilting her chin up with the side of his thumb. She met his eyes, and his gaze felt like it would burn right through her.

When he finally spoke, his voice was raw and deep. "Do you want me, Jane?"

Shock ripped through her. She hadn't expected such a blunt question, though considering that this was Loki, she wasn't sure why it surprised her. He wasn't exactly known for being delicate.

"What?" she whispered, feeling stupid for asking the question but desperately needing to stall a moment to gather the will-power that had so easily escaped her.

" _Do you want me?_ " he repeated huskily, stepping even closer to her and chasing away any resolve she had left.

Jane swallowed hard, desperately trying to keep a clear head even as he seemed to cloud her thinking. "Loki, I, I know things have gotten a little… complicated between us lately, but you even said it yourself. Thor…"

"I didn't ask you about Thor," he interrupted heatedly. He held her eyes captive with his. "I asked you if you wanted _me_."

Jane trembled between him and the closet door, feeling weak and overwhelmed by the hunger in his eyes. "Loki, I…"

He stepped even closer to her, refusing her the escape she was so futilely seeking. His gaze dropped down to her hand where she still held her towel in a death-grip. He loosened her hold gently and took her hand in his, lifting it to his mouth. He placed his warm lips against her palm, kissing the sensitive skin slowly, sensually. Jane shivered as tingles broke out over her, the skin on her entire body seeming to become hyper-sensitive in response. A shaky breath escaped her but her words seemed hopelessly trapped inside.

He looked back up at her after a few moments, his gaze darker than it was. "It's useless to lie to me, Jane. I _know_ you want me. It's why you won't look at me for more than a few moments at a time. Because when you look at me, you _feel_ things you don't want to acknowledge." She started to argue, but he stopped her again with his intense gaze. "I want _you_ , Jane," he breathed huskily, pulling her hand downward to rest against on the long, rigid arch in his pants, forcing her to confront the inescapable proof of his words.

A whimper nearly escaped her at the feel of him and desire rushed through her. She decided he was right; it was useless to lie to him. Not only because it was a foolish endeavor to try and lie to the _god_ of lies but because it was true – she _did_ want him. _Badly_.

And if she might die, didn't she owe it to herself to be honest about what she wanted while she was still alive?

She looked back up into his beautiful, clear eyes, and nodded soberly. "Yes." She swallowed hard, nodding again. "Yes, Loki, I do. I do want…"

She didn't get another word out as he swept down and claimed her mouth with his, his lips insistent and desperate against her own as he pulled her against him.

His warm, soft lips moving against hers heatedly set off a rush of tingles and she gasped in pleasure as his tongue slid into her mouth. He lifted her in his arms and her legs instinctively wrapped around his waist.

A split second later, she was laying on her bed with Loki kneeling over her. She hadn't even felt him move. Embarrassment flooded her as she noticed her towel was missing but then she noticed his clothes were gone as well. He had been wearing his full regalia of green and gold only seconds ago.

Her distraction dissipated as he came back down to her, his lips claiming hers once more as he lowered his body against hers.

He felt _incredible_ against her, his skin slightly cool and luxuriously smooth and sliding over every inch of her. The only real heat came from his velvety cock, which she felt pressing against her abdomen. She couldn't see it but she could tell it was huge.

While her mind had the sense to be a little scared, her body seemed to have a mind of its own as her legs rose and locked around his hips as he continued kissing her sensually. Pleasure streaked through her as he readjusted his position so that his impossibly hard cock nestled between her wet folds, enabling him to rub his full length against her tantalizingly. Jane moaned loudly, overwhelmed by the sensation of his bare flesh sliding against hers as he repeated the action easily, her slickness coating his shaft.

Her toes curled. And she had thought he had felt incredible _through_ her panties…

Jane whimpered, pulling away from his mouth to take in a much-needed breath. "Loki, _please_ ," she panted as he began to kiss along her throat, not altogether sure what she was even pleading for. She just knew that whatever it was, he could give it to her.

Loki lifted his head and titled it to the side as he gazed at her. "Please _what_ , Jane?" he asked in a velvet voice, a small smirk tugging at his beautiful lips. She couldn't believe he had the audacity to act innocent even as he rubbed against her again, rolling his hips against her as he did.

Jane groaned in exasperated desperation, digging her nails into his back and dragging them down. Loki moaned and closed his eyes, losing his grin momentarily. Jane nearly smiled before whining pitifully when he reached down and rubbed the large, thick head of his cock against her sensitive folds in retribution, teasing her terribly.

" _Tell me you want me, Jane_ ," he commanded, lust making his already deep voice positively rumble.

Her prideful side wanted to deny him but quickly lost the battle as she whimpered when he pressed into her slightly, only to pull back a fraction of an inch when she didn't answer. Her legs tightened around him, trying to prevent him from moving further away from her. "I want you," she admitted, nearly desperate for him now.

"Who do you want?" he asked with mock innocence.

" _Loki_ ," she breathed, both an admonishment and a reply at once.

"Sorry? I didn't hear that," he replied, amusement and victory thick in his voice. Jane nearly laughed at his playfulness but could only gasp as he pressed into her just barely again. Her insides clenched in anticipation.

"Loki!" she cried, desperation winning over pride. Loki groaned, finally giving into both their desires as he invaded her slickness with his entire length in one long, slow, delicious slide. Jane whimpered as he filled her, tightening her legs against his hips as they trembled uncontrollably with every inch he sank into her. His large size left her feeling absolutely and wonderfully filled by him. A cry left her as he pulled out slowly and then pushed back in more forcefully, reaching an even greater depth and setting off a spark of intense pleasure deep within her.

Sliding his hand down her side, Loki gripped her thigh and drew her leg higher up on his waist, increasing the pace and depth of his penetration. Jane gasped as the move opened her up even more to him, and Loki sealed his lips to hers again, his tongue finding its way inside her once more.

Jane shivered as one his hands wandered down to massage her breast as he continued to move deep inside her, changing the angle of his strokes every so often and keeping her on the razor's edge of climax. It seemed he was in no hurry to finish her. She found she was no hurry to be free of him either.

Loki pulled away from her lips and Jane gasped as the world suddenly shifted around her as he rolled them over, placing his back against the bedding and steadying her above him. Embarrassment flooded back into her at being so exposed to him but he rose up quickly and kissed her sensually, seeking to reassure her. He stroked his hands up and down her sides, trailing tingles along her over-sensitized skin. Pulling away from her mouth, she heard him whisper "So beautiful," against her neck as he kissed along it softly, leaving a wet, tingly trail in his wake. Jane relaxed instantly and gasped as he thrusted up into her, hitting that magic spot once more and reminding her of more important matters.

Seeing that she had calmed, he laid back down against the bed. He slid his hands down her back and gripped her hips, pulling her down onto his cock and starting a delicious rhythm she couldn't help but follow. Still feeling a bit self-conscious, Jane leaned down and pressed her mouth to his, a shock of pleasure shooting through her as he groaned and gripped her tighter, increasing the depth of his thrusts up into her.

The new angle was enough to make her melt, Loki's cock striking a magical spot inside her over and over as they moved. Tears burned behind her eyes from the intensity of it all. There was a wondrous feeling building inside her and she never wanted it to end. She could only hold onto him as he increased his pace once more when he felt her begin to tighten around him, her thighs trembling.

Desire seemed to overtake him then and he rolled them back over, his larger form pinning her small body against the bed as he thrust into her with utterly lost restraint. His thick cock speared into her mercilessly as the building of her climax overtook her senses.

Tingles racked her body as a feeling of utter euphoria filled her. It felt like the intense pleasure would never peak as he pushed it higher and higher with every stroke into her.

Nearly delirious from the pleasure, Jane barely registered it as Loki kissed her again, but quickly moaned and clutched him tighter as his tongue caressed hers once more. It was like he couldn't touch her enough, always needed more of him touching her.

Her body trembled as her climax finally crested and crashed over her, her inner walls tensing and fluttering around his cock. Loki groaned into her mouth and pushed into her even more deeply, his own climax overtaking him in that moment. Her walls pulsed around him as he spilled into her, drawing the pleasure out as he pumped into her slowly.

Loki continued to kiss her as they both came down from their highs, pulling away at last to allow them both to regain their breath. Jane panted lightly as her heartbeat slowed back down. Pleasurable pulses continued to tighten her around him every few seconds.

 _That was incredible_.

Her eyes fluttered open and looked up into his warmly. She'd never seen him so disheveled before, his inky black hair in disarray as it hung down around his face. She reached up to push a strand of it back behind his ear but it fell right back into place as she pulled her hand away. Clasping her retreating hand in his, he placed another open-mouth kiss against her palm. Jane smiled weakly at his affection and closed her eyes as a feeling of utter contentment overcame her.

Noticing how tired she seemed, Loki pulled out of her slowly, nearly hissing at the feeling of oversensitivity as her flesh slid over his. A small noise of displeasure left her and he smiled, gratified by the knowledge that she didn't want him to leave her. He moved to lay beside her and she immediately snuggled against his side, sighing contentedly as he smoothed her hair back into order. Her breathing evened out quickly as sleep claimed her.

Loki smiled, pleased that she trusted him enough to fall asleep with him beside her and relieved that she was resting and replenishing her strength.

Loki continued to brush his fingers through her hair as she slept, releasing a contented sigh of his own as he allowed the feeling of bliss to wash through him, even as new power began to swim tantalizingly through his veins. Taking a deep breath in, he settled against the pillows and closed his eyes. He felt truly peaceful but far too energized to even consider sleep. Letting the deep breath out, his eyes fluttered back open, his once-clear green eyes now completely engulfed by pitch black.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11 – Question of Intention

Jane stretched lazily as she slowly came awake, feeling utterly relaxed and content. A happy sigh escaped her. She couldn't remember the last time she felt this good.

The events of the previous night filtered back in and she smiled a little. She reached out searchingly for Loki, but the bed was empty beside her. She sat up, confused, and looked around, only to find that her surroundings had radically changed. She wasn't in her room. She wasn't even on Asgard anymore – she was in her old bedroom on Earth.

Panic started to overwhelm her as she tried to figure out what had happened. How could she suddenly be back on Earth? Wasn't she still a danger to others? "Loki?" she called out nervously.

Only the still darkness of her bedroom answered her.

Had she dreamed it all?

She nearly leapt out of her skin as Loki answered "I'm here," from the far corner of her room. It was dark enough that she hadn't noticed him at first but as her eyes adjusted, she could see that he was sitting at the small desk she kept in her room, just barely illuminated by the moonlight.

He looked so out of place there. Dark and imposing and larger than life. He was fully dressed again and he looked utterly other-worldly just sitting there, one of her old journals clasped in his hand as he glanced over the pages casually.

She bristled a little that he didn't seem to have any qualms about going through her research before everything suddenly clicked into place at once. He was here! On _Earth_!

She leapt out of the bed, wrapping a bedsheet around her naked form hastily as she started towards him in a panic. She nearly winced as the quick movements caused the soreness in her nether region to protest but she ignored it. "Loki! What are you _doing_?! You aren't allowed to leave the palace! We need to go back, right now, before anyone notices. They'll put you back in that cell!"

Loki didn't move an inch but a small smile quirked his lips as a short, exhaled laugh escaped him. "They could try," he replied, seemingly amused by the prospect.

Baffled by his calm disregard, Jane could only stare at him in shocked silence. She felt like she was having a mini heart attack and he just sat there, continuing to study the journal in his hand like he didn't have a care in the world.

And it was in that moment that she realized something was terribly wrong.

"Loki…" She kept her voice calm as panic swarmed inside her. "What did you do?"

He looked up at her at last and set her journal back down on the desk. His clear green eyes held hers with unwavering conviction. He titled his head to the side as his eyes narrowed. "I saved you."

Jane's brow furrowed at his response, but her confusion lasted only a few moments. He was right. The Aether… she could tell it was gone now. She could hardly believe she hadn't noticed it until just now. She'd been feeling more and more drained the past few weeks. As if there was something continually sapping at her strength.

And that feeling had completely vanished…

Instead of feeling elated by the knowledge that she was finally free of the Aether, she felt an overwhelming sense of dread settle around her like a shroud. He wasn't telling her everything.

"How?" she asked quietly, afraid of what his answer might be. Her mind had already jumped ahead several places, but she fought against the inevitable conclusions it made.

He held her gaze for a moment longer, quietly assessing her, before he tilted his head up slightly, allowing the pale moonlight streaming in through her window to illuminate his face. She watched in horror as his clear green eyes bled to solid black, then returned to clear green pools she loved a moment later.

Jane backed up instinctively, nearly tripping on the sheet wrapped around her.

Loki smirked, tilting his head to the side. "Now I hope you're not feeling afraid of me again, are you Jane? Not after what we've shared," he added huskily.

Jane stood frozen in place. It felt like all the blood had drained out of her, leaving behind a coldness that made her shiver.

The Aether wasn't inside of her anymore.

Because now, it was in _him._

He narrowed his eyes and stood, watching as Jane backed up again on reflex. He dropped his head, a dark laugh escaping him. "No. I guess you're right." He looked up into her eyes, his expression cold. "You _should_ be scared of me."

"Why?" she asked, nearly in tears. "Why did you…"

" _Why?_ " he repeated in disbelief. "To save you. It was obvious no one else was going to do it. So I did."

" _How_?" she demanded again.

He chuckled darkly, looking down at the ground for a moment before meeting her eyes again. "Ah, Jane, Jane, Jane. Always looking for answers, always wondering, always searching…" He turned away from her, facing the window as he gazed out upon the world he had nearly conquered during his last visit here.

"It was ridiculously simple, actually. So much so that I'm not sure why I didn't think of it myself." He turned back towards her and closed the distance between them, smiling at her bravery as she held her ground this time. "Due to our relationship as soul mates, the Aether is unable to distinguish my aura from yours. To it, we are essentially the same being. The Aether chose you as its host and never would have allowed itself to become vulnerable by removing itself from you unless it was forced to or unless it was _tricked_ into doing so. The Aether does not read me as a separate entity but as an extension of you. Once I created a connection between us, it flowed into the part of 'you' that it read as having greater stability; I'm stronger and longer-lived, which better ensures its chances of survival. All I had to do was create a connection, the Aether did the rest."

Jane felt her eyes drop to the floor during his explanation, a numbness sweeping over her as he spoke. _Connection?_ Memories of the night before flashed through her mind, and she felt her chest tighten.

She looked back up at him, betrayal tearing at her insides. "A connection? Is that what you call _it_?" she whispered, her voice pained and angry. "I think you did a little more than just create a _connection_."

He smirked then, just barely stifling a laugh as he nodded his head. "Ah, yes, well, I do believe you humans have a saying for it, do you not? 'Waste not, want not', I believe?"

Jane felt like he had slapped her. Tears burned in her eyes, and she backed away from him, stopping only when the back of her knee hit the edge of her small bed. She started to stumble slightly but caught herself just as he took a step towards her.

Jane held up a hand haltingly as she used the other one to keep the sheet wrapped around her, making it clear she didn't want him coming any closer. "You have what you want then, don't you?" she choked out. She met and held his eyes as a tear spilled over and ran down her cheek. "You should just go." Her voice shook and she looked down, refusing to look back up again and allow him to see her cry. "Thank you, for saving me," she added quietly.

Loki stared at her small form, her face lowered and shoulders trembling, and felt darkness fall over him. Crushing him with its weight.

 _It's fine_ , he told himself.

He deserved to feel this. Because this is what he did.

He broke things.

He turned, ready to leave this place and never return, when her words stopped him.

Her voice was quiet, muffled in the darkness of the small room.

"You told me before that this is what you wanted: to hold the power of the infinity stones. Now that you have one again, what will you do?"

He remained silent.

"Will you attack Earth again?" she asked when he didn't answer. Despite everything he had just said, everything he had done, she hoped it would be different this time, now that he knew she called this place home. Would he still try to enslave humanity when he knew she might be one of the subjects he crushed beneath his rule?

He remained silent. Several moments passed in the still darkness between them.

"Why did you do it?" she whispered. It was an incredibly dangerous question to ask. But she was unable to keep herself from asking him it any longer. It was a question she had wanted to ask him from the first time she met him.

The only thing she couldn't overlook. The only thing she couldn't pardon.

"Why did I do what?" he asked callously, even though he knew exactly what she was asking.

"Why did you kill all of those people? Attack New York? Try to take over Earth? _Any_ of it? It just doesn't make sense. How could you…" She felt her voice break a bit, her words dying away.

He scoffed lightly, still refusing to turn back and face her. "Oh, it makes perfect sense. It's what I was born for. It's what I am. It's what I've always been. A _monster_."

Jane shook her head. Despite everything he'd done, she wouldn't let him label himself as that. "You're not. It isn't that simple. You have people that love you, a family…"

He cut her off, whipping back to face her as pain bled into his stony voice. "It _is_ that simple. I'm not human. I'm not Asgardian. I am a _Frost Giant_. A monster that lives for destruction and war. Odin plucked me from that frozen world of monsters, just one more trophy to prove his worth as king. I'm not his son. I'm not Thor's brother. I'm not their family. Not one of them. Not even the _same_ as them. A _monster._ That's all I am and all I can ever _be_. What point is there in trying to be anything different?"

There was no point. He already knew that.

He had tried to prove he was different once. Had tried to annihilate that entire race of _monsters_ from existence to prove he was nothing like them and never would be. To prove he could protect their world from its enemies and to prove himself worthy of being king.

But even that attempt had been met with stark rejection. Nothing could clean the blood in his veins. Nothing could make him good enough. In fact, it only seemed to prove himself as even more of a monster in their eyes.

So why _try_?

Jane stood in silence, overwhelmed by the pain she could feel pouring off of this broken man before her. He was hurting. Had _always_ been hurting since he learned that he wasn't related to those he had always thought his family and that he was actually their enemy instead. The shock of it must have been extreme. The sense of betrayal, of doubt; never truly knowing if he could trust another's love for him.

It had been different for her. She had known from the very beginning that she was alone; that she had no family. But Loki had had the rug ripped out from under him, shaking his sense of stability and faith. To suddenly find that his father was not his father, that his mother was not his mother… That he might have been taken in like some stray _someone_ had to take care of.

She knew the feeling too well.

It made sense now how he could be so cruel. He'd been abandoned by his real family, cast aside like he was nothing. Had believed he had a family, only to find out it wasn't truly his, and that his own never wanted him.

It reminded her of something she had seen with other foster kids so many times as she was growing up in the foster home. Some of the kids were so badly broken by their pasts that they couldn't accept it even when someone truly reached out to them. Time and time again, she would see the same kids taken in by a foster family, only to be back at the foster center a few weeks later.

It was the same thing every time: a family would take them in, bring them home, but it was nearly impossible to ever feel at ease in a foster home. Always questioning _why_. Why they wanted you. What they might really want instead. Because it couldn't possibly be you.

It could never be you.

Your own family hadn't _wanted_ you.

Jane hadn't had the same issue because she was wired very differently than the others. She didn't care about being loved. She had only wanted one thing: to make herself into someone who never needed anyone. She'd been extraordinarily lucky when a very caring couple had taken her in and given her the ability to pursue that dream, and even more fortunate that she'd been able to find at least some modicum of home with them.

But for most of the other foster kids, she knew it had been very different. Deep down, they wanted love, but they were so deeply scarred, they couldn't see it even when it was there. So they would act out. Test the limits of this so-called "unconditional" love parents were supposed to provide, because surely no such thing existed.

It became a self-fulfilling prophecy. And it only served to confirm their worst fear, over and over again.

That no one could ever truly love them.

Jane realized now that Loki was very much the same as those broken children. Untrusting of the love others held for him and testing it continuously to find its inevitable limit.

Only, instead of being a young, scrawny teenager with attitude issues, he was a _god_ , capable of _so_ much more damage.

Images of the devastation in New York that she'd seen on TV filled her head. The chaos and death…

He'd called himself a monster. And as much as that revealed that he saw wrong in what he had done, it also displayed an acceptance of it. Because monsters didn't change.

He'd gone down the wrong path for so long, he didn't know the way back anymore. He was lost.

And what was worse, was that he likely didn't want to be found. Because there was only one thing worse than acting out and being condemned for your sins.

And that was to repent, only to find that you would not be forgiven.

Loki was trapped in a snare of his own making. He couldn't stop now, he'd gone too far.

Because if he asked for forgiveness now, it wouldn't only be his behavior that risked the rejection he feared.

It would be him.

She understood that fear but knew she couldn't allow him to give into it any longer. She had to convince him that he didn't need to push everyone away in order to protect himself. She had to try to reach him.

Loki sighed, bringing Jane out of her thoughts. He started towards the door again, seemingly done with sharing.

Without intending to, Jane rushed forward and grabbed onto his arm. She couldn't just let him leave like this, and so she pleaded with him.

"You can fix this, Loki. You just have to tell them that you're sorry and…" her words ended abruptly as he whirled around to face her. He looked angry and desperate and just _broken_.

"And _what_?" he demanded incredulously. "You foolish mortal. It cannot be _undone_. _Nothing_ that I've done can be made right. They cannot be brought back and I cannot be saved." His voice became choked, and his eyes gleamed with tears. "There _is_ no redemption. Not for monsters like me."

He turned away from her again, unable to look her in the eyes any longer. Tears ran down his face.

"No redemption. There's only more chaos," he added hollowly and Jane felt her eyes fill with tears.

"Loki," she cried, her voice breaking. She wanted to tell him he was wrong. Wanted to tell him everything would be alright. Wanted to do anything she could to untie the noose he'd wrapped around his neck.

But she didn't know how to save him from himself.

"Loki," she tried again, desperate to keep him with her. "Please," she whispered, not even sure what she was asking for.

He turned to face her and she reached for him again, only to have him step away. "Don't you realize you're free now? The Aether is no longer inside you, won't strike out at others anymore. Which means you can be with Thor again," he added bitterly.

She processed this information, truly not having realized it until he said so, but found it didn't change how she felt at all in that moment.

She didn't want to be with Thor. She knew what she wanted. And she wanted this damaged man standing before her. Not because he was perfect or anything else hopelessly ideal but because he was broken. He was broken just like she was, but somehow, their broken pieces fit together. Completed each other and eased each other's suffering. Made each other whole again.

He'd saved her.

And now, she wanted to save him.

Just as she stepped towards him to tell him that, a brilliant, riotous light from outside filled her bedroom. Her brain had just barely processed the feeling of déjà-vu as Thor stormed into the room, his cape flapping behind him. Jane wrapped the sheet around her more protectively, suddenly feeling more exposed than she had before.

He barely glanced at her as he bellowed at his brother in anger. "Loki! What is the meaning of this? Have you gone mad? Do you intend to have father execute you?! And to bring Jane with you. What were you thinking of, moving her in her condition?"

"Her condition?" Loki asked plainly. "She seems to be rather well, I'd say." Loki nodded toward Jane, who squirmed as both brothers turned to look at her at once.

Jane nodded minutely. "I-It's true, Thor. I'm fine now," she reassured him in a nervous voice as he looked at her disbelievingly.

Thor stared at her in awed confusion for several moments. "How did this happen?"

Jane's brain struggled to come up with an answer that would satisfy Thor's question without revealing too much, but she couldn't think of anything. She didn't want to tell him this now, not with Loki right there. It was already going to be so hard to explain it to him that…

"She gave it to me," Loki replied easily, pausing as he allowed it to sink in for Thor that the Aether was inside _him_ now.

He smiled wickedly, watching the look on Thor's face contort into apprehension. It seemed his brother, dull as he was, realized the impossibility of taking him on now that the Aether resided inside him. Jane had no idea how to wield the power that had run through her veins. Loki was a different story. "Well, that isn't all she gave me, but then that's another conversation, isn't it?"

Jane felt her heart drop into her stomach. She watched in horror as Loki's words sunk in and Thor turned to face her slowly. She could only look at him with anguished regret in her eyes as he stared at her in utter disbelief.

He shook his head in denial as he stepped towards her but he kept staring at her, scrutinizing her. She watched as his eyes dropped down slowly to the bedsheet wrapped around her. She gripped it more tightly as she watched the terrible dawning comprehension in his eyes.

She wouldn't need to explain anything to him now…

Because now, he already knew she'd betrayed him.

The apology she owed him so dearly caught in her throat and she thought she might choke on it.

 _I'm so sorry. I'm so,_ so _sorry._

Tears filled her eyes.

And anger filled her heart.

She'd thought Loki was beginning to care for her. Otherwise, she never would have allowed what happened between them last night to happen in the first place.

But he'd just proved without a doubt that he didn't care for her at all. He'd only used her to gain control over the Aether. And then he'd thrown it in Thor's face just _how_ he'd attained such a great and terrible power.

Even if there hadn't been a good way to tell him, she hadn't wanted Thor to find out like _this_ …

And now he'd probably never forgive her.

Livid from the overwhelming betrayal, Thor turned to leave, and Jane rushed forward to stop him. She couldn't let him go without explaining herself to him. She couldn't allow him to believe she'd meant to hurt him. She gripped his wrist, holding on even as he tried to shake her off. "I'm so sorry, Thor! I didn't mean to betray you like this. I never meant to…" she fell silent, her words choked by her sobs.

Loki watched them in silence, pain stabbing through his chest with her every word. Why was he surprised she'd regret him? Didn't everyone?

He watched as Thor glanced back at her, pain and conflict swimming in his eyes. It was clear he still couldn't disregard her, no matter how much she'd betrayed him. It just proved how weak he was.

It was a weakness he'd always loathed. Always hated Thor for having. How weak, that he could allow himself to fall. And for a mortal at that.

But it was a weakness he could no longer fault him for.

Because he was weak too.

Unable to watch the troubled lovers for another moment, Loki chimed in then, breaking the silence. "Well, I'll be on my way then. Let you two catch up." Pain was wholly absent from his voice, even as it snaked around his heart, constricting it with his every breath. This was what he did best: pretend.

Loki walked past them as he headed towards the door, stopping momentarily as he reached it. "She's all yours brother…" He cast a glance back at Jane then, trying to memorize her face as he gazed upon it for the last time. Her eyes were red and glassy, but she looked so incredibly beautiful to him in that moment. He wished he could see her smile one more time.

But that was why he was doing this, he reminded himself. So she could smile again. Thor could make her happy. Whereas he could only ruin her.

He'd saved her from the Aether.

And now, he would save her from himself.

A sad smile pulled at his lips as he bid them his final parting words. "But then… she always has been."

* * *

Author's notes: I don't know if I'm just getting into this story too much or if my writing was actually that emotive, but I actually teared up quite a bit while writing Loki's dialogue. It sounds weird saying it, but it would mean so much to me to know if it got you to cry too!


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12 – Lost

" _Bitterness is a paralytic. Love is a much more vicious motivator_." – Sherlock.

Loki's parting words echoed in Jane's head as she stared at the space he'd stood only moments ago.

" _She's all yours brother…"_

 _But then… she always has been."_

The words felt like they ripped a hole in her heart. He was wrong. She wasn't Thor's. Not anymore. But it seemed Loki didn't see it that way, and she hadn't been able to tell him differently.

Because before she'd been able to say a single word to stop him, he was gone. He hadn't opened the door and walked out… He'd just completely disappeared. As if he'd stepped through a portal neither she nor Thor could see.

Thor growled menacingly, starting towards the spot Loki last stood, but seemed powerless to follow. He searched the immediate area uselessly, and it only seemed to agitate him more. He still hadn't looked at her since Loki left.

Guilt ate a hole into her gut as she stared at him. She needed to apologize again.

And again, and _again_.

It would never be enough.

"I'm so sorry Thor." He still didn't turn to look at her, still searched for how his brother could have possibly escaped. "I… I didn't mean to hurt you. Never wanted to hurt you…"

"But you _did_!" Thor roared at her as he finally whirled around to face her.

Jane shrunk back from his sudden fury, and Thor's eyes softened as he registered her fear. He hadn't meant to frighten her. He was just so… stricken with pain and grief.

He'd _loved_ her. Still loved her….

He forced his seething breath to calm.

"I know," he whispered quietly. He knew she hadn't meant to hurt him. It wasn't in his Jane to inflict pain on others willfully.

But she _wasn't_ his Jane.

He'd always known he would lose her. But it had come so much sooner than he'd ever feared.

The two of them looked at each other sadly. Neither sure what to say. Neither sure how to proceed.

Not really wanting to discuss the sordid details of her betrayal, Thor turned the conversation to the more pertinent matter at hand: Loki.

"I'll have to go after him. He has the Aether now, which means he holds the power to destroy the universe if it pleases him."

Jane eyebrows creased. "It's that powerful? _I_ had the power to destroy the universe?"

Thor smiled slightly at the awe in her words, but shook his head.

"The Aether is powerful but one must understand its power to harness it. The Aether holds the ability to alter reality. Loki is already skilled with talents of manipulation. It won't be beyond him to unleash its full catastrophic potential."

Jane took this information in, trepidation seeping into her bones with Thor's every word.

 _Surely he wouldn't…_

"It's a very real possibility," Thor replied darkly, as if reading her thoughts. "If he lives long enough."

Jane's heartbeat kicked up at once as fear spiked through her. The Aether was a danger to Loki? "But he's so much stronger than me. He must be able to withstand it better than I…" she started to reason but stopped as Thor shook his head again.

"The Aether poses _more_ danger to Loki. The Aether is sentient. It knows who thirsts for its power and who it can influence to its will. Loki desires power. It will use that desire to manipulate him. His strength makes him an even more ideal vessel, as it can wreak more damage through him. It will strive harder to break him."

Jane shook her head, unable to believe the words Thor was saying. "He can fight it…," she argued.

" _It will consume him_."

 _No..._

Anxiety swarmed her. "We have to save him."

"I will," Thor replied, making it clear that it would be _him_ , not they, that did so.

Jane nearly flinched at his cold response. He may have understood that she hadn't intended to hurt him when she betrayed him but that didn't mean he forgave her.

 _But Loki…_

She couldn't just sit there and do nothing if he was in danger. Couldn't just let him die.

"Please," she whispered. "I… I can't lose him."

Thor gazed at her, comprehension filling his eyes. "You love him." It sounded as much a statement as an accusation.

Jane winced. She wasn't sure what she felt for Loki, but she knew it didn't feel right to discuss it with Thor. Surely he didn't want to know what she felt for his brother.

"I don't know," she replied honestly. "I… care for him greatly. I want to save him."

Thor nodded in understanding. "Then do what you can here, but I can't bring you with me."

Jane nodded soberly. She knew it was a long shot. Odin hadn't wanted her there when she _had_ to be there. And she would probably only get in the way.

He turned to leave but then stopped to glance back at her. "If you need me," he paused then, a sadness filling his eyes. "Just call out for me. Heimdall will be watching."

Jane nodded. "Thanks. I'll do all I can here."

Thor nodded and then left. Jane had to fight the urge to beg for his forgiveness again as she watched him go. He already knew she was sorry, and maybe that would have to be enough. She didn't deserve his forgiveness as well.

A deep sigh escaped her. She hadn't set out to hurt Thor but she had done so irrevocably. Maybe this was what it was like for Loki. Hurting others with his selfishness, even when he hadn't meant to, and then having to live with the inescapable fact that he had.

It _hurt_. It hurt to breathe. Like a weight crushed down on her chest without remorse. Would it ever stop?

Suddenly, the door to her room opened. Jane thought Thor might have come back to tell her something but it was Darcy standing there.

The bag of groceries she was holding in her hand dropped to the floor as Darcy stared at Jane in shock.

"Jane!" Darcy ran at her, gripping Jane in a tight embrace. "I thought I would never see you again!"

Jane smiled, a laugh escaping her at the joy of seeing her friend again. For a while there, she thought she would never see her, or Eric, again either.

But she was _home_.

Jane felt the tingle of tears up the bridge of her nose. "I'm sorry Darcy, I…"

Darcy pulled away and nodded. "Thor told us. That you were with him on Asgard."

Jane nodded. "I was infected with some kind of alien parasite right after I got sucked into that portal in the warehouse. It was killing me, but… it's gone now."

It was still so hard to believe it was really gone. She had even begun to accept that she was going to die from it. But just like that, it was gone. All because of Loki…

Darcy looked relieved. "Thank God." She eyed her friend suspiciously. "You're sure it's gone? You're not going to go all _Alien_ on me or anything?"

Jane nodded, a short laugh escaping her. "Yes, I'm sure. Loki saved me."

Darcy looked shocked by that. " _Loki_? You mean Thor's insane, homicidal brother, _Loki_?"

Jane nodded again. "I don't know if that's how I would describe him anymore, but yes, it was him."

Darcy stared at her for a few seconds. "Huh. Go figure."

Jane smiled. She always loved how easily Darcy accepted things when others couldn't. She was so adaptable. Maybe that meant she would be willing to help her with finding out if there was a way to save Loki from the Aether?

"Darcy? Would you mind helping me with a new project?"

Darcy nodded instantly. "Of course! Anything. Where would you be without your precious intern?"

Jane smiled, relieved. "Lost."

* * *

Loki gripped his head in his hands, battling the turmoil brewing inside him. Anger and sorrow and bitterness and longing. It felt like some dark energy ate his insides and an unfamiliar heat raged in his veins.

He felt like he'd lost everything, even when he'd essentially just gained everything with the Aether. He held the power to reshape the universe.

Or, render it to ash.

The problem was, he didn't really desire to do either.

There was only one thing in this universe he wanted. Or rather, only one person.

But just like all his other desires, it seemed this one was just as doomed to fail.

So, what was the point then? Of anything?

 _So?,_ a thought whispered from so deep within his mind, he could not tell it apart from his own.

 _Then why not destroy everything?_

* * *

Author's note: I included the quote from Sherlock not only because I am a huge fan of that show, but because I think it helps reveal Loki's character. Loki does suffer from bitterness but I feel love is his greatest affliction. Loki loves Frigga and Thor deeply, but he's unable to accept they love him. This causes him to lash out, possibly in attempt to force them to stop pretending they love him, or possibly to push them away because he can't handle the guilt he feels for the cruelty he's inflicted on them. Now that Loki has fallen in love with Jane and believes she could never love him back, he's become even more volatile, and susceptible to the influence of the darkness within him. Nothing's more dangerous than a broken heart...

I truly hoped you guys liked this chapter. I can't tell you how much I struggled with it (which accounts for it being both short and late - sorry!), so I hope it's still acceptable. I think it was mostly just because this was a transition chapter, so I think it should ease up from here. Hope you stay with me!


	13. Chapter 13

Author's note: Sorry this chapter is late! I've just been so busy with the holidays and all. Now that everything has calmed down, I figured I'd get this little gift out to you all as quickly as I could! Hope you enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 13 – Delirium

It was nearly two in the morning and Jane and Darcy still sat at the small dining room table in their flat, pouring over books and research as they'd done for far too many nights now.

Too many nights and nearly nothing to show for it.

There wasn't much to go on, granted. The Aether wasn't exactly a broadly known subject, let alone researched. Jane had found some vague references to it here and there, but it was hard to tell if what she found was even referencing the Aether or something else entirely.

Jane sighed, dropping her face into her hands and scrubbing them over her face. Resting her face there for several moments, she felt exhaustion pulling at her. It was a bad sign if _she_ was getting tired. She was used to being a night-owl, typically working far later into the night than this. But then, that had been when she at least got some decent sleep during the day.

That didn't really happen anymore. Not since she'd returned to Earth and become consumed with saving Loki from the same sinister force he'd saved her from.

But it was beginning to seem impossible…

Peeking through her fingers at Darcy, Jane saw that she was completely immersed with the book in front of her. It was rare to see her so serious about anything but she had been working like this with Jane side by side for nearly a month now, typically late into the night like they were tonight.

Jane felt guilt tug at her. They were getting nowhere, yet _again_ , and Darcy was probably tired.

"Hey Darc. Why don't you go to bed? You don't need to keep working just because I am. You've done enough."

Darcy kept her eyes glued to the book in front of her. "Nothin' doin', kid," she replied, shaking her head resolutely.

Letting her eyes leave the book in front of her for the barest of moments, Darcy glanced up to confirm what she already knew. The skin beneath Jane's eyes was still dark, and her face looked thinner than it used to. "I've never seen you like this before. You've barely slept these past few weeks and you only eat when I put food in front of you and stare at you until you eat it. Saving this Loki guy means a lot to you, so that's all there is to it. I'm not leaving you to do this alone."

Jane smiled weakly, touched by Darcy's loyalty. But she couldn't just let her go on like this when it might be a lost cause regardless of how hard they tried.

"It may not be able to be done, Darcy. We may never find out _anything_ about the Aether, let alone it's weakness."

Jane felt a twist in her heart as she gave voice to her inner fears. If they didn't figure out how to save Loki, he was going to die.

Pressure formed behind her eyes as they began to burn from impending tears. The thought of losing him forever was just too much.

"Well not with that attitude," Darcy replied dryly, still not lifting her eyes from the book in front of her.

Jane smiled at that, feeling the dull pain in her chest lessen. Darcy was right. Getting all defeatist would only make her feel worse than she already did and make it harder to keep pushing forward. She had to keep trying. Had to keep hoping.

Taking a deep, rejuvenating breath in, Jane nodded and forced her mind to refocus. "Okay, so maybe we just need to break it down. What do we know about the Aether?" She grabbed the journal where she jotted down what little information she had been given about the Aether, both from Loki while she was on Asgard and from Thor during the last time he came to check on her since she'd returned to Earth.

Even with both of their insights, it still wasn't much to go on.

"It's an ancient force, older than universe itself, and capable of destroying the universe."

"Well, that doesn't sound good," Darcy added helpfully.

Jane nearly rolled her eyes but kept studying the notes she'd jotted down. "Yeah, doesn't sound like it, does it? …. Let's see, it's power is the ability to convert matter into dark matter. This allows it to actually bend the laws of physics and alter reality."

"What's dark matter?"

Jane thought for a moment, trying to formulate a way to explain it in simple terms. "It's hard to explain, but basically… it's something that exists but is undetectable by any of our methods of identification. Whereas matter is something physical that we can see and touch, dark matter has no visual or tangible presence. Matter is anything that has mass. But dark matter is matter that has no mass."

Darcy had that sort of glazed look in her eyes that she got when Jane got too "science-y" on her (Darcy's term).

"Basically, it could obliterate everything," Jane summed up for her bluntly.

Darcy absorbed that for all of two seconds. "Ah. Gotcha."

Jane snorted at her blasé response. Leave it to Darcy to brush off the destruction of the universe.

"So, what does it look like?" Darcy asked as she pulled an apple out of the fruit basket in the middle of the table, taking a bite of it and chewing loudly.

Jane's mind flashed back to that day they investigated the portal in the warehouse. "I only saw it once, when I was transported to the Dark World. It was in between these two huge pillars. It kind of looked like some weird, dark red fluid or mist. I didn't get a very good looked at it before it jumped into me. Thor told me it's essentially a weapon created from darkness."

Darcy processed that for a moment, taking another bite from the apple in her hand. "Well, if it's essentially darkness, wouldn't that make light it's weakness?" Darcy asked plainly.

Jane went completely still, the journal in her hand dropping to the table with a dull thud. She felt like someone had just knocked her upside the head with the revelation.

Jane slapped both her hands onto the table. "Of _course_ … that's why it can't be destroyed by force! A blade can't cut it. A hammer can't pummel it. It's darkness. It doesn't _have_ a tangible form to destroy with any kind of tangible weapon. But light… _light_ might be able to destroy it."

Jane smiled widely, feeling a rush of hope flood her. It was a decent hypothesis.

"So, what, we just shine a flashlight at it?" Darcy asked with slight amusement in her voice.

Jane shook her head distractedly, her mind whirring dizzyingly with possibilities. "I don't think that would do it, but this a lead at least. Something to go on. If it's made from darkness, hid between two pillars on the Dark World because it needs darkness to survive, and lives in host bodies to protect itself from light, light might be able to hurt it."

She looked up at Darcy, a strong wave of gratitude washing over her. "Thank you, Darcy. I don't know how I missed it, but I think you may have hit onto something big. _Light_ is the only enemy of darkness."

Darcy laughed lightly. "Yeah, well, it was kind of a 'duh' idea. I specialize in those."

Jane's bright smile turned into a grimace. "It wasn't 'duh' enough that I thought of it," she replied with some consternation.

Darcy shrugged. "Well, you tend to over-complicate things with that big brain of yours. I don't really run into that issue too much myself," Darcy replied nonchalantly, sounding kind of proud about it.

Lost in a whirlwind of thought, Jane's elation died down even more as she realized they were still were still far away from an actual plan of action to save Loki. Time was her enemy and too much of it had gone by already. She didn't even know how to find him. She hadn't seen him since the night he'd brought her back to Earth.

And Thor hadn't been able to locate him so far. Not even with Heimdall's help. The being who could see every living soul in the universe couldn't see Loki…

Dread filled her. What if that meant he'd already died?

" _Jesus!_ "

The apple dropped from Darcy's hand onto the table with a loud thud and Jane looked up as Darcy stood so abruptly that her chair fell backwards and clacked against the floor.

"Wha-?" Jane looked over her shoulder to where Darcy was staring and saw Loki standing in the middle of her living room, just off from the dining room they were sitting in.

Adrenaline rushed through her as she leapt out of her seat and turned to face him, unable to believe her eyes. He was covered in sweat and visibly shaking, his breathing labored. He looked like he had just walked through hell. Twice.

"Loki!"

Jane rushed towards him, reaching him just as he fell to his knees. She followed him down, reaching out to stabilize him. Loki groaned sensually the second she touched him, pulling her hand to him possessively and holding it against his face as he pressed her skin to his lips.

Jane was a bit shocked at the sudden and very open display of affection. He was muttering incoherently, but she couldn't discern what he was saying. He looked awful: his skin paler than ever and his eyes unfocused.

Something was _very_ wrong.

Tearing her eyes away from him, Jane looked back over her shoulder at Darcy pleadingly. "Can you give us a minute?"

She saw the hesitation in Darcy's eyes. She looked like she wasn't going to budge, eyeing Loki warily.

Jane gave her a small, reassuring smile. "He won't hurt me." It sounded like a crazy thing to say about a known killer, but she knew she was safe with him.

Darcy nodded. "Alright," she conceded reluctantly. "But I'll be nearby."

Jane smiled gratefully and nodded. "Thanks."

Jane watched as Darcy walked past them and closed the door behind her, then turned back to face Loki. He still held her hand against him and she couldn't help but notice how warm his skin was. Almost hot. Given that his skin was typically cool to the touch, it was worrying.

He was breathing so heavily he sounded as if he was in pain.

Jane reached out with her other hand to feel his forehead, but he grabbed her and pulled her into him roughly instead, covering her mouth with his desperately. His lips were hot against hers, and she felt as if she could melt into him as he entered her mouth with his molten tongue.

A whimper escaped her as he stroked his tongue over hers and he tightened his grip around her at the sound, nearly bruising her in his hold. He whispered her name hoarsely between kisses, over and over. He was completely delirious; barely seemed to be aware of anything but her.

If she had thought he seemed broken before, it was nothing compared to how he was now. He looked somewhere between drunk and dying.

Pulling back slightly, he panted breathlessly, "Had to… see you… Had to…" He stopped speaking in favor of dropping his head down to her throat and running his lips over her neck intoxicatingly. Jane sucked in a sharp breath in pleasure as tingles ran over her skin, leaving her dizzy.

"Loki…" Jane struggled to speak as he continued to ravish her neck. He was awaking an intense desire in her but she needed to focus. She had to get some answers out of him. Figure out what was wrong with him and how she could fix it. "Loki, you're… you're sick. You need to lay down."

"Marvelous idea," he breathed, and before she knew it they were in her bedroom, and he was pulling off her shirt and bra.

"I meant sleep, Loki," Jane admonished weakly as Loki ran his tongue over the sensitive skin on her neck, pushing her jeans down over her hips, keeping her distracted as he drew his hand down her stomach lightly.

His breathing had calmed somewhat but he was still feverish. He needed rest.

She was about to insist he lay down, opening her mouth to do so, but only a gasp came out as he stroked his fingers over the sensitive flesh between her legs through her underwear. He shook his head. "No sleep. Can't sleep."

"You haven't slept?" Jane asked worriedly around the gasps he pulled from her. "In how long?"

Loki seemed to have trouble remembering momentarily but then smiled deliriously. "Weeks."

Jane felt alarm fill her. She knew Asgardians could go longer without sleep than humans, but they still required it. Going this long without it could damage him.

"Loki, you _need_ to sleep," she insisted. She tried to pull his hand away but he was stronger than she was.

He only shook his head again, dropping it down to kiss the sensitive skin on the juncture of her neck and shoulder again. "Can't. Can't. It'll win."

Jane's brows furrowed as her breath shook from his ministrations. "You mean the Aether?"

He didn't answer. Instead he pushed her underwear to the side so he could stroke her bare flesh unimpeded. Jane's legs quaked as he expertly worked her sensitive folds, entering her only slightly. "I was so afraid of losing you," he confessed suddenly, a dark laugh escaping him moments after the admission. "Turns out I die first."

Jane shook her head adamantly. " _No_. We're going to figure something out. We _will_ ," she insisted, though he didn't seem to be listening as he continued to run his fingers over her tantalizingly.

He lifted his head to meet her eyes. Even clouded, they were dark with certainty. "It's going to happen. And I couldn't let it without seeing you one last time," he whispered deeply.

Jane shook her head again and felt a tear run down her cheek and drip onto her collarbone. She hadn't even been aware she was crying.

 _No_. She couldn't lose him. She couldn't…

Loki wiped the tear away gently and brought his mouth back down to hers as he pressed her into the wall behind her. Jane met him without protest this time, kissing him back desperately as he stoked her need for him into an almost painful ache.

"Loki, please," she begged as she pulled back from his kiss. She was begging him to listen to her and lay down, but he read her plea differently. He lifted her up instantly, pressing her back against the wall. The coolness of it was shocking in comparison to his heat, stealing her ability to speak.

She heard fabric tearing as she was completely exposed to him, the last barrier of her clothing gone. Unwilling to wait any longer to be inside her, he shoved his own clothing aside just enough to release himself and allow the head of his cock to tease her soft, sensitive folds before sliding into her.

Jane gasped breathlessly as he filled her slowly, her legs clenching around him convulsively as he sank into her. Loki groaned as her inner walls gripped him greedily; she felt like heaven to him.

Hearing her soft whimpers as she stretched around him, Loki couldn't stop himself as he lifted her up and pulled her down onto him roughly, thrusting up into her at an uneven pace as his need for her consumed him like fire. Crushing her against the wall, he brought his lips down to hers and kissed her deeply as he penetrated her to the hilt over and over.

He was fully in control, Jane helpless to do anything but hold onto him as he drove into her, pushing her to climax around him with little warning as he continued to thrust into her.

Jane pulled away from his kiss to catch her breath, moaning as he dropped his head to her neck and kissed along it instead.

Slowing his strokes to a languid pace, he trailed his kisses down to her breasts, placing open-mouthed kisses on the soft peaks. Jane moaned throatily as he used their arched position to his advantage, grinding against the bundle of over-sensitive nerves at the top of her opening with each slow thrust he made into her.

Jane's breath became shaky as she felt another orgasm building inside her – Loki hitting that magic spot deep inside her with every perfect stroke into her.

The sensation had her curling her toes from the intensity of it. She whimpered his name softly, feeling as if she might pass out from sheer pleasure as it built again. Loki groaned, increasing the depth and speed of his strokes as he felt her quiver around him. Jane cried out as he sped up, shoving her over the edge again and causing her to tremble against him from the force of her climax.

Loki panted heavily against her throat as he came as well, filling her easily as her as her inner muscles massaged him with every throb of aftershock from her orgasm.

Too exhausted to remain standing, Loki dropped down to his knees with Jane still impaled on him.

Startled, Jane immediately brought her hand to his forehead, horrified to find he felt even warmer than he had before.

"Loki, lay down. _Please._ You need to rest."

"I need to die," he contradicted quietly, unable to look at her.

Jane stared at him in horror, shaking her head as she stared at him disbelievingly. "What do you mean? Why?"

"Because it's all I can do. The only way I can stop it." He looked up at her solemnly. "The only way I can make sure it won't hurt you."

Jane kept shaking her head, refusing to believe that could be the only way. Tears blurred her vision. "No, we can find another way. We can…"

Unable to listen to her pain-filled voice a moment longer, Loki reached out his hand and released a wave of energy that caused her pass out instantly. She went slack against him and he held her as a wave of remorse filled him. Taking a deep breath in, he reminded himself it would cause her no harm and spare her from the pain of being forced to accept the inevitable.

Lifting her up with him as he stood shakily, he walked over to her bed and placed her down upon it gently. Stroking the back of his fingers against her cheek, he begged her forgiveness in silence.

Because he couldn't bear to say goodbye. Not to her.

He pulled the covers over her, making sure she stayed warm. She would wake soon and he needed to leave before she did.

He'd never said the words to her before. This would be his only chance.

Even if she didn't remember, he wanted her to hear them.

"I…"

He swallowed thickly, his breath short now.

"Love you,… Jane Foster."


	14. Chapter 14

Author's notes: Hi guys! Sorry for the long wait for this chapter (and the last one as well). I've hit a bit of a rough spot in the storyline where the words aren't flowing as easily as they were, so it's been harder for me. I'm still fairly new to writing, so I'm trying to adjust to dealing with writer's block (it sucks). Please know that I have no intention of abandoning this story, though. I even have the next 5 or 6 chapters plotted out and I'm really excited about where it's headed (the ending in particular), so please stay with me! Oh, and this chapter is longer than normal to make up for my prolonged absence. Hope it makes up for it, if even just a little.

Also, please note: this chapter changes locations quite a few times, so I have noted it when a scene changes to a different location to make it easier to follow.

* * *

Chapter 14 – Return to Asgard

Jane jolted awake.

She sat up in her small bed as she scanned the room wildly, her mind struggling to catch up with how she ended up here. She couldn't remember. She couldn't even remember laying down to sleep. Loki….

 _Loki._

Without even getting up and looking around, she knew he was gone.

 _Damn it!_ She slammed her fist down on the bed.

Glancing at the alarm clock on her desk, she saw it 4:32am. She couldn't have been asleep for more than 20 minutes then.

It may as well have been hours though. She'd never be able to track him down now. He had the ability to shift between worlds. She'd have no chance.

 _No. I can't think like that._

Scrambling out of bed, Jane gathered her scattered clothing, grabbed a new pair of underwear, and threw on her clothes as she headed towards the front door. She had no idea how to find him but she had to try.

Jane nearly smacked into Darcy as she rushed out the door, slamming the door behind her. She'd obviously been poised to knock. Instead, she pointed up at the sky as it lit up around them, blinding them. Jane shielded her eyes and watched as Thor materialized in a cyclone of iridescent light a moment later.

"Jane," he greeted shortly, looking concerned as he approached her. He looked her over, inspecting her closely. "Are you all right?"

Jane nodded mutely as she watched the rainbow bridge dissipate. It was phenomenal sight to behold but he acted like it was no different than appearing in a cab.

"I'm fine," she replied distractedly. Looking back at him, it struck her as too much of a coincidence that he would appear now. "Why? Did something happen?"

He nodded, a perplexed look twisting his handsome features. "You disappeared from Heimdall's sight," he explained.

Jane's mouth opened slightly as it dawned on her what happened. "Loki was here," she admitted quietly, shame filling her the same as though she and Thor were still together. She wondered if she'd ever be able to look at him again without hating herself.

Thor didn't say or do anything to guilt her further however, and only nodded in understanding. "He must have shielded you from Heimdall's sight as well then."

Jane shook her head, hardly able to conceive of how he had accomplished such a feat in the state he had been in. "He looked awful." She shook her head in distress as she recalled how much he'd been shaking. "Like he was coming off some kind of powerful drug."

Thor nodded somberly. "Essentially, it is having the same effect. The Aether knows Loki craves power and chaos. It's pushing him to give into his desire and unleash its destructive powers. If Loki's fighting against it, it will only push harder for him to give in. It's probably taking everything within him to resist it."

Jane nodded, dread returning to her full force as memory of what had transpired filtered back in. "He said he needed to die. That it was the only to stop the Aether."

Thor shook his head, mystified by the rationale. "If he were to perish, it would only jump into another host."

Jane considered that a moment, doubting Loki would ever be so careless. "What if there were no other host bodies to jump into?"

Thor seemed to reach the same conclusion in that instant.

"The Dark World."

Jane nodded anxiously, a rush of purpose flowing through her as she realized they had a lead on where he may have gone.

Now that they had a heading, Jane was more than ready to leave but Thor still seemed lost in thought, as though weighing their options.

The fact that he was hesitating at all made her heart clench. What was there to think about? "We _have_ to stop him. We can't let him kill himself."

Thor turned from her, pacing a few steps away and then coming back to her, following that pattern several times. Minutes passed before he looked back at her, face morose.

His eyes said it all.

Jane shook her head. No. No, she would _never_ accept that.

"What else can we do?", he demanded of her, his voice quiet with despair. "The Aether cannot be destroyed. My brother knows that." It looked like it pained him immensely to say the words he knew were true. To admit they had to let Loki die. "He's done the only thing he can to prevent it from destroying everything in its path."

Jane shook her head again, refusing to hear the logic in his words. She'd never hear any logic in Loki allowing himself to die. _Never_. "What if we could stop it? Destroy it?"

Thor scoffed weakly, his eyes redder than they'd been a moment ago. "It cannot _be_ destroyed. Many have tried and failed."

"By force, no," Jane countered. "But what if force isn't what can destroy it?", Jane appealed. Thor was already shaking his head, too sure it was impossible to hear her but she refused to relent. "You told me the Aether was forged from darkness. If it was created from darkness, light might be able to hurt it. _Destroy_ it."

Darcy chose that moment to point to herself with her thumb, smiling proudly.

Jane rolled her eyes, smiling at the moment of levity, but returned her eyes to Thor in seriousness. "Couldn't we try?", she pleaded. "There could be a way. Something that hasn't been tried yet."

Thor considered her words in silence. Jane swallowed hard as she awaited his reply, feeling her hope waver as the moments slid slowly by.

When he finally met her eyes, hope had filled his. "We can."

Jane smiled widely, relief surging through her.

And Thor had said _we_. He wasn't trying to push her away anymore…

Thor smiled back at her and Jane felt the weight in her heart lighten dramatically. Maybe she hadn't lost him entirely after all…

"I guess this means you're off to space again, then, huh?", Darcy asked suddenly, definitively ending the heartfelt moment.

Jane glanced over at her, feeling guilt tug at her for having to leave her again. Darcy smiled at her reassuringly. "At least I get some warning this time," she said dryly. "Don't worry, I'll let everyone know you're all right."

Jane smiled gratefully at her. "Thank you." The look that passed between them conveyed Jane's true appreciation for her dear friend. Darcy only nodded, a smug smile on her face.

The next moment had Thor stepping closer to Jane, wrapping an arm around her shoulders as he called out to Heimdall. Blinding light filled the immediate area seconds later and they were gone before Darcy could wave goodbye.

"Good luck!" she called anyway, watching the shaft of light disappear into the night sky.

* * *

Asgard…

The trip to Asgard was exhilarating, unlike anything Jane had experienced before. She had to fight to urge to ask to go again once they'd arrived. It wasn't a ride. And this wasn't the time to be having fun.

Jane trailed behind Thor as they traversed the grand, iridescent walkway leading away from the rainbow bridge, her nerves building with each step they took. Every moment they weren't on their way to rescue Loki was like a band tightening around her chest, choking off her breath.

 _Loki…. Please be okay._

Looking up at the looming palace before them, it felt strange knowing he was not within its walls. During her stay here last time, he'd been the one she'd seen the most.

It felt lonely returning without him here.

Shaking the feeling off, Jane forced herself to steel her nerves as they approached the palace entrance. Sif, the Warriors Three, and a regal-looking woman stood there, waiting to greet them.

Jane smiled and nodded to Thor's friends, grateful to see some familiar faces, but felt nervousness grip her again as she connected eyes with the woman that was undoubtedly Thor's and Loki's mother.

 _Frigga._

It was more than a little awkward to meet the mother of the only two men she had ever felt strongly for.

She couldn't help but fear Frigga would despise her for dropping one son for the other.

Frigga defied expectation, however, as she stepped forward and embraced Jane warmly, as if it were the most natural action in the world. "Welcome home, dear" she whispered in Jane's ear as she squeezed Jane's sides lightly.

Jane felt her eyes mist over suddenly at the incredibly heartfelt welcome, unsure what she had done to deserve it. Regardless, it felt wonderful.

It was strange, but she did feel a strong sense of nostalgia coming back here. Like she _was_ coming home.

Even if it was missing someone very important…

"Thank you," Jane replied softly, returning the embrace, and then pulling back to look at everyone in turn.

Thor excused himself then, explaining he would need to gather some things before they left. Jane stood there awkwardly after he was gone, unsure what to do.

Frigga smiled at her understandingly, holding her hand out for Jane to take. "Come and sit down. No need to stand here in the entryway until he returns."

Even though sitting down was the last thing she wanted to do, Jane nodded and smiled, taking Frigga's offered hand.

 _Please be okay…_

* * *

The Dark World…

Crawling across the ground on his knees, Loki clawed at the dirt in agony. Dirt and small, sharp pieces of stone lodged under his fingernails unnoticed, the sensation incapable of penetrating through the constant barrage on his senses.

The Aether was digging into his subconscious, unleashing excruciating pain and pushing him to give into it.

To release the darkness inside him, if only to stop the pain.

He wouldn't though. Even if it was the worst pain he'd ever felt, worse even than what the Other had inflicted on him.

The pain was nearly blinding in its intensity. It felt like molten hot needles of ice were piercing his every nerve. He had nearly wretched from the pain more than once.

Still, he preferred pain to its other tactics.

Because when pain became too boring, the Aether had been toying with his mind instead, showing him things he knew weren't real.

That was the trouble though, wasn't it?

 _Can't trick a trickster._

Loki laughed haggardly as the pain suddenly receded again. Laughing was all he could do to keep his sanity. Though he wasn't sure how sane he appeared, hunched over in the dirt and laughing madly.

Thor and Jane materialized before him moments later and Loki felt his laughter die away.

This little show was getting old and Loki wished sorely that he'd just die already. It was too much to be mocked like this as he neared the end.

A jagged breath escaped him, the pain from earlier still lingering even after it had ceased its attack. It hurt to breathe, and taking more than a shallow breath caused him to cough harshly, prompting the false Jane to laugh.

The _thing_ that looked like Jane gazed down at him with scorn in her eyes. It hurt so much to see her and yet _not_ see her. He hated it. It wasn't _her_. It was some mockery of her, here to haunt him even as he willingly laid down his life to save her. To save everyone.

It was no wonder there were so few heroes, he thought to himself bitterly, if this was the reward for being noble. He'd never done anything he'd considered noble before in his life. And even if he ever got the chance, he was sure he wouldn't again.

The false Jane spoke then, Loki turning rigid as her tone bled with disgust. "You _honestly_ thought I wanted _you_? Who would?", she scoffed, twisting the beautiful voice of the woman he loved. "The abandoned wretch of a monstrous king," she mused, shaking her head. "They should have killed you rather than leave you to fate. It so often errs."

Loki laughed harshly into the dirt, fighting the sting of words he knew weren't hers. "Wrong again," he chided with what little amusement he could muster. "You don't capture her at all."

It was _so_ unlike Jane that Loki never could have believed it was her, even if he hadn't been assured of that fact already.

And it hadn't convinced him it was her once since the first time it appeared. It had chosen his weakest point then, showing him what he had believed to be Jane, covered in blood and clearly dead. It had been trying to make him despair and give into the darkness.

And it had nearly worked, but the Aether had failed to realize the extent of his connection with Jane.

He knew it wasn't her the second he touched her.

And now, the specter sough to injure him with her words, pushed him to seek vengeance against her instead, but it would never win so long as it portrayed her so poorly. Jane would never speak so cruelly, no matter how much he deserved it.

Switching tactics, the false Jane dropped to her knees in front of him, bringing her hand to his cheek gently. Loki gritted his teeth as the phantom managed to make him feel the soft caress as if it were Jane's.

"Loki, stop fighting this," the imposter begged, her voice sounding entirely like Jane's. "It's killing you. Please, I can't stand to see you in pain." Tears gathered in her eyes and Loki shoved her back instantly.

"Don't," he growled at her. " _Don't_ disgrace her. She would never ask such a hideous thing. To give in and allow everything to fall to waste."

The look of sadness dropped away and the false Jane's eyes turned cold as she stood, returning to the false Thor's side.

"See? He's pathetic, as I said," the false Thor reminded her, his voice taunting. He cast his scathing eyes back on Loki. "Weak. He can't control it, that's why he's giving up so easily. I told you, you shouldn't waste your efforts on him."

Loki squeezed his eyes shut, anger filling him. It stung to hear these words, even knowing it wasn't Thor saying them. It didn't mean it wasn't what Thor thought, though…

Loki bit the inside of his cheek until he tasted blood, trying to force the spirits away any way he could. Pain seemed to be the only thing that kept them away, but looking up to see them still standing there, it seemed it wasn't enough.

Loki cursed inwardly. Was this his punishment? That he couldn't even be permitted to die in peace?

Would his brother's existence, contrived or not, mock him even into death?

He heard the false Jane chuckle again and lost it.

"Leave me! Both of you!", he shouted at the apparitions, watching as they finally dissipated into nothing. Loki released an exhausted breath of air.

Relief was fleeting, blinding pain ripping into his head only moments later. Curling into himself as the needles of fire and ice returned, Loki found he welcomed the pain.

He would withstand anything, if it meant the Aether would not mock him with those he loved most...

* * *

Back on Asgard…

While Jane waited for Thor to return, she had the opportunity to explain the light theory to Frigga. That she and Thor might be able to save Loki from the Aether if they could find a way to use light to destroy it.

Jane waited patiently while Frigga seemed to process everything she'd told her, watching as Frigga rose from her seat beside Jane to pace. She was silent for several minutes as she considered Jane's words.

Frigga turned to her at last, face resolute. "You cannot save him."

Jane felt her heart drop into her stomach, fear returning sharply. Couldn't save him? It was a thought she didn't even want to consider.

She was just about to argue when Frigga added, "But he can."

Confused, Jane asked, "Thor?"

Frigga shook her head. "Loki. Only he can save himself from this."

Unable to discern her meaning, Jane watched as Frigga paced slowly in front of her, waiting for her to explain further.

Frigga held her hands in front of her, absent-mindedly tweaking her left hand with her right as she considered her words. "Loki has a gentle heart. He always has. But that gentleness has become twisted by envy and desire for power." Frigga paused, seeming to mourn the loss of Loki's innocence all over as she recalled what he once was. "I provided him all the weapons he needed to fight the darkness long ago. Not only the darkness in his heart, but the darkness that resides inside him now as well."

Jane's brow wrinkled. "How do you mean?"

"Did Loki ever explain to you the nature of his power?" Frigga asked instead.

Jane shook her head. "He mentioned that he manipulated light."

Frigga nodded slowly. "I taught him everything he knows. Powerful magics. But I only taught him; never Thor." Moving to Jane's side, she sat back down beside her. "You see, Loki has always battled with feelings of inadequacy. He was never as strong as his brother or the others, and I couldn't bear to see him believing he was somehow _lesser_ because of something as inconsequential as physical strength. So, I taught him how to use magic. Something to set him apart, something he could be stronger at than the others. It gave him confidence." Frigga smiled fondly as she recalled Loki's excitement the first time he performed magic successfully. His eyes had lit up with wonder and pride. It was so precious to see after all the times she had seen him so disheartened…

Her smile fell slightly. "I had to give him something to dispel the shadow he was forever cast in. A little sunshine to fight the darkness, you might say."

Jane nodded, encouraging Frigga to continue.

"You see, my power, _Loki's_ power, _is_ light." Frigga turned toward Jane and produced an orb of light in her hand, allowing Jane to observe it. "Every particle of light can be manipulated; altered to hide, reveal, or even alter what is there." Jane watched, entranced, as the light changed shape in Frigga's hand, taking the form of a short blade, then a glass of water, and then return to its original form. "The Aether is darkness, incredibly powerful, but it resides inside my son, utilizing him as a source of energy." Frigga's voice turned dark and the light in her hand went out.

Frigga looked up at Jane. "If Loki uses that dependency to his advantage, he may be able to turn it against the Aether and destroy it."

Jane nodded, hope swelling within her chest. Frigga rested her hand on Jane's. "He has to do it on his own. But you can be his strength, so he can fight it."

Jane nodded. "I'll do everything I can," she assured heartfeltly. And she would. Even if it cost her her life, she would.

Frigga smiled. "I know you will." She looked down for a moment before returning her eyes to Jane. "I have to…" she spoke softly, "thank you, for loving my son."

Jane felt alarm well within her, a part of her wanting to contradict Frigga because she felt it might still be too soon to admit to having so solidly shifted her affections.

But there was no use in denying it. She did love Loki. _So_ much that it hurt to breathe every moment she didn't know he was okay.

Frigga smiled warmly at her in understanding. "I know their being brothers troubles you, but I can assure you that Thor will understand in time. He loves you, and in the end, he will always want your happiness first, no matter what that means. He wants Loki's happiness as well. He would never condemn something that caused it. And, I think… Loki needs you in a way Thor never could. And I will always be grateful to you for showing him that he can be to you what no one else can. He needs to know how special he is, and I fear he's always doubted it."

Jane unconsciously squeezed Frigga's hand, her heart clenching in her chest. She'd known this woman less than a day and already she loved her. She never knew her own mother, but she found herself wishing she had had a mother like Frigga.

Frigga released a heavy sigh, returning the squeeze gently. "I love my sons equally, but Loki has always weighed heavily on my heart. Thor wins respect, friendship, and admiration with ease, but Loki has never met with the same success. Even before he knew he was different, he had trouble fitting in; being accepted as Thor was. My heart aches for him. For the little boy inside him that still only yearns for love and acceptance, but feels it is always out of reach."

Jane felt her heart squeeze painfully. It hurt to know that he'd always felt like he wasn't enough. It was probably what pushed him to do what he'd done. Those desperate for love and respect would often accept fear if it was all they thought they could have.

Jane lifted her left hand and rested it on top of the hand Frigga had laid on her right. "I'll make it my mission to make sure he knows it isn't. That many people love him. That _I_ love him."

Frigga smiled as tears formed in her eyes and looked back up at Jane. "Which is why I am so grateful for you, my dear. For someone else who sees past the walls he's built around his heart. I think he built them long ago, to protect himself." Frigga's eyes turned sad. "But now… he's trapped there."

* * *

Back on the Dark World…

The burning agony had ceased again.

Loki took a shuddering breath in as his entire body continued to throb and ache. He had no idea how long that bout had been but it felt like it had been hours.

Loki gritted his teeth, knowing better than to feel relieved that it had stopped.

Because he knew what it meant when the pain stopped.

"Loki."

Loki sucked a wearied breath in his lungs, choking on the acrid dust that seemed to be the only covering other than rock on the surface of this God-forsaken world.

 _Please stop_ , Loki begged silently, though he knew it would do no good. The Aether wasn't going to stop until he was dead.

Using what little strength he had left, Loki propped himself up from his position on the ground. Standing wasn't really an option anymore with how weak he was, but at least he was sitting up now.

He hadn't opened his eyes yet and he wasn't going to. It too much effort and he didn't want to deal with these marionettes anymore.

"Loki," Thor's voice called again and Loki damned the Aether for the millionth time for speaking in the voices of those he wished to forget. He just wanted to forget. Forget everything and have it all be over already.

Loki shook his head tiredly. He refused to look up at the imposter who wore his brother's face, not wanting to give it the satisfaction of his response. There was no purpose in indulging the Aether's machinations.

"Why?" the false Thor demanded, undeterred by Loki's silence. "Why have you betrayed me, brother?" Pain tinged his rumbled words.

Loki looked up unintentionally, meeting the false Thor's eyes. Guilt had twisted in Loki's heart momentarily, so convincing was this lie.

Thor's face twisted with torment. "What have I done, brother, for you to tear the one person I love from my side?"

Loki gritted his teeth and shoved down the swell of remorse.

 _It isn't real,_ he reminded himself. _It isn't him._

 _But it could be,_ his inner-voice taunted back. _You've_ earned _these words._

Loki closed his eyes again and remained silent, hoping the Aether would lose interest if he didn't encourage it.

But of course, he could never be so fortunate.

"Is there no limit to your treachery, Loki?", the false Thor went on. "No sense of compassion at all? I _loved_ her!", he shouted venomously.

"And _I_ love her!", Loki shouted back at last, unable to keep silent a moment longer.

But he was shouting at nothing. The apparition was gone.

A moment of utter silent passed before Loki laughed madly, shaking his head as he realized he'd given in to the falsehood entirely for a moment there, defending himself as if he were actually speaking to Thor.

The Aether was winning; slowly eroding away his mind.

That was fine, he reasoned. It could win the battle, but he would win the war. He wouldn't break, no matter what it subjected him to. He swore it.

Protecting Jane and the Universe from the darkness inside him was the only thing he had left to give. He couldn't fail...

"Mon-ster," a small, child-like voice called out suddenly, piercing through the haze in his head. Loki's eyes snapped back open, startled by how utterly out-of-place the small voice seemed in this fallen world.

Loki looked up, stunned to see a small human child standing before him. She was covered in dirt and caked in blood.

And she was pointing her small finger directly at him.

Loki's heart lurched in his chest. He didn't need to wonder what had inspired this ghost…

Because he'd murdered her, after all.

"Mommy," the little girl whispered, reaching back for the woman standing behind her, while keeping her large, curious eyes glued to Loki. The woman's blank eyes stared lifelessly forward, blood running down her limp arms to drip onto the ground. The side of her head was hideously crushed in, obviously the result of the buildings falling to pieces as Loki and his army had waged war on a helpless populace.

"Is that man a monster, mommy?" the little girl asked innocently, still pointing at Loki. The girl sounded like she genuinely wanted to know; to understand how this being that looked like a man was actually a monster.

Loki's face crumpled, knowing the answer to that question all too well.

But the woman didn't answer her daughter. Instead, her bloody arm slowly rose, her index finger extending to point at him. Her lips moved, but no sound left them.

Not that it mattered. Loki knew what she said.

 _Monster._

In the dim light, the shadows of hundreds of other fallen people sprung up behind the little girl and her mother. One by one, each one pointed towards him, whispering one word in a cacophony of death.

All those he'd killed. Him and no one else...

It was _his_ fault.

Loki bent over where he sat, covering his ears to muffle the whispered accusations.

Monster.

Monster.

 _Monster._

It wasn't working. He could still hear them.

Loki's fingernails dug into his scalp, but still, he could hear them.

 _No_. _Go away_.

 _No. Please stop. Please stop._

"Loki," Jane's gentle voice suddenly cut through the din, and Loki wailed, a noise he'd never made before.

 _Not now._ _Please, not now,_ he begged silently, refusing to open his eyes. He didn't want her to see this. To see what he'd done; the lives he'd wasted.

Tears burned in his eyes but he had them squeezed so tightly shut that none escaped. He rocked in place, silently begging the false Jane to grant him his only wish.

 _Disappear._

" _Loki_ ," Jane's voice called again, but Loki shook his head, refusing to look at her. He couldn't look at her. He'd have killed her too, had she been so unfortunate as to be in the wake of his destruction.

And for what? What had been the point of it all? To rule? To destroy?

 _It's what you do best,_ a sinister voice in his mind whispered.

Loki whimpered.

" _Loki!_ " Jane finally shouted, grasping Loki's wrist.

Loki gasped, his eyes snapping open as his eyes met hers. The _real_ Jane. He knew it the instant she touched him. It was her. She was here.

Fear ripped through him. _NO. No, she can't be here._

 _No…_

The false Jane materialized behind her, completely unnoticed by the real Jane as she fretted over him.

The false Jane met Loki's eyes, and his heart filled with cold dread as a cruel smile quirked her lips.

Because now, the Aether knew it had won.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15 – Of Darkness…

Loki felt the world tilt on its axis as he watched the corners of the false Jane's lips curl upward in victory.

He closed his eyes, dropping his head as despair overtook him.

Nothing. It was all for nothing…

Because now, the Aether _had_ won.

Loki came to the Dark World, where no other living beings existed, to guarantee the Aether would be hopelessly trapped there once he was dead. That it would never be able to hurt Jane, or any other being in this universe.

But Jane had followed him here. And made herself the perfect target for the Aether once he was dead.

Which meant he _couldn't_ die.

Loki felt his blood pressure spike as adrenaline rushed through him, his will to stay alive returning as the desire to keep Jane safe dominated his need to die.

It made the red-hot pain behind his eyes turn to lava, causing a wave sickness to sweep over him from the intensity. His vision blurred momentarily, but then Jane came back into focus, kneeling in front of him, tears falling from her eyes as she assessed the state he was in.

He was sure he looked dreadful. He was dying, after all.

 _She_ , on the other hand, looked beautiful.

But she was _here._

And that meant the Aether would try to possess her again if he died and became an inhospitable host for it.

Which was why, in an instant, his primary goal had been made utterly unacceptable. He couldn't die now. Not if it placed her in danger.

Which was truly unfortunate, he realized, as, sucking a sharp, painful breath into his aching lungs, he found dying was all he really wanted.

Loki dipped his head down, hiding the bitter smile forming on his lips.

Was this to be his life's bane? To _always_ be denied what he most sorely wished for?

Asgard. Midgard. Jane…

 _Jane_. _How did she even_ …

Casting his gaze beyond her, he saw Thor standing just a few feet away from them. It was the real Thor, that much he could tell just by the tension he still felt radiating off him. When he last saw them, it appeared that his and Jane's indiscretion was going to be the severing edge to their relationship. But given that Thor was here now, with Jane, that seemed not to be the case. They had reconciled.

Loki felt a twinge of jealousy as he realized they may have _more_ than reconciled, but he pushed that thought to the back of his mind. Them being back together wasn't what he needed to focus on. The issue was that Thor was here.

And that he had brought the real Jane _with_ him _._

Rage simmered to life in his veins. If Thor loved Jane, how could he ever even _consider_ bringing her here? He should have done everything in his power to keep her _away_ from here. Instead, he had delivered her willingly to a hostile world where an even more hostile force lay in wait to use her as a damned battery until it bled her dry, just like it was doing to him.

Did the damn clod care _nothing_ for her that he would risk her so carelessly?

Loki had traveled to the Dark World solely to _avoid_ the possibility of the Aether possessing anyone else, least of all Jane. Now, his efforts had been made utterly worthless. Now, she was at risk of it possessing her all over again.

Loki pushed up onto his knee, attempting to stand despite the nearly nauseating amount of pain that resulted from the small action.

"How could you bring her here?", Loki growled at Thor, brushing Jane's hands away as she tried to stop him from moving. "After everything I did to save her from this," he broke off, panting for breath, "After everything I did and you give it the opportunity to try and destroy her _again_?!"

"Loki," Jane whispered quietly, trying to calm him, but Loki ignored her, continuing to advance on Thor weakly but determinedly.

"It will _destroy_ her if it takes hold of her again. You realize that? Once I'm dead, the Aether won't stay in my body. It will seek a new host." Loki panted heavily as the pain stole his breath away, making every word burn.

Even as he spoke the words, they were too horrible for him to accept. He turned back towards Jane, watching as she stared at him with concern in her eyes and feeling the sting of tears in his own as he imagined being responsible for her death. The very thought was more than he could bare. He already had the blood of so many on his hands.

But not hers.

Not _hers_.

He turned back to Thor, his control over his emotions utterly lost now. The words tore out of his throat as he screamed them, tears streaking out of the corners of his eyes.

" _And you've just delivered her to it on a_ platter!"

The words echoed in the stillness around them, bouncing off the craggy rock-laden planet.

Thor was rendered silent, unprepared for the level of rage Loki unleashed on him. He'd seen his brother angry before but it was nothing compared to this. There was no doubt in his mind that he cared for Jane now. This was no act.

He loved her.

For some reason, that made his betrayal sting far less. Loki hadn't done it solely to hurt him, as Thor had suspected. He actually loved her. There was no way he'd be reacting as he was now if he didn't.

Taking a calming breath in, Thor nodded once. "That would be a problem, brother, but you will not be dying this day," Thor responded evenly.

A harsh laugh left Loki and he shook his head. "Always the hero, Thor," Loki replied acidly. "But this is a foe even _you_ cannot best."

Loki lowered his eyes as the words left his lips and he turned away slightly.

The reality that even Thor would be no match against the Aether was not a thought he delighted in. Not when Thor would be the only thing standing between it and Jane once he was dead.

Loki looked back up at Thor, soul weighed down with defeat. He'd often envied the ever-optimistic disposition his brother always held. But it would serve him no purpose this time, other than to destroy him and the woman they both loved.

"Always the hero," Loki whispered sadly. "But there's no _me_ left to save. And you won't be able to protect her from it once I'm gone."

Thor saw the void of hope in Loki's eyes and felt his heart clench in his chest as Loki turned away from him with a note of finality. He knew what Loki was trying to do. He was trying to get him give in to the hopelessness of the situation and take Jane and leave while they still stood a chance.

But he simply could not. This was Loki. He couldn't simply abandon him.

Because no matter how hard Loki tried to push him away, he would always be the little brother he only wanted to protect.

Thor swallowed hard, his rumbled voice pleading. "Loki, you cannot simply surrender…"

"Why _not_?," Loki hissed, whipping back around to face him instantly. "What need do have you of me?", Loki questioned harshly, staring Thor in eyes in challenge. "Tell me, brother, truly, I _wish_ to know."

Thor found himself unable to retort, too shaken by the rawness of Loki's pain. Loki truly _believed_ he meant nothing to him. It baffled Thor beyond words that he could ever doubt how much he cared for him after everything they'd gone through together.

They were brothers. And all he truly wanted, was his brother back by his side.

Shaking his head when Thor remained silent, Loki turned from him, walking away as he surveyed the wasteland spreading out in every direction before him.

It was a desolate place. Void of life or light.

It seemed a fitting place for him to die. He was a destroyer, a god of chaos and ruin.

But this already ruined world was safe from his wrath. There was nothing to destroy, not even the hardiest of weeds dared to grow here.

Loki paused in his steps but didn't turn around. His words were quiet but they felt like glass as they left his lips.

"My entire… life… Disregarded… Disrespected… _Ridiculed_. That is the only purpose I have ever served you and our _friends_ ," Loki spoke the word mockingly, making it clear that he knew full-well they were only ever _Thor's_ friends.

They claimed to have been his as well, but Loki wasn't dim. He knew better.

They weren't his friends. They merely tolerated him.

And then openly _betrayed_ him when they found themselves displeased with his sudden appointment to the throne, convinced he had contrived some nefarious plot to seize power.

What they didn't know what that the events that had led up to that moment were not by his design.

Yes, he _had_ intended to spoil Thor's coronation. Yes, he _had_ goaded him to defy their father. But he had never meant for Thor to go start a war. Or for him to be banished from the kingdom right before their father fell into the Odinsleep.

The throne had fallen to him unintentionally but rightfully. Thor had been banished, and Odin had been right to banish him. Thor would have brought war upon their peaceful kingdom without hesitation if he had been left to rule.

Loki had ascended to the throne to maintain the peace his father had fought so hard for. But their _friends_ had defied his rule, and stole away to Midgard to reinstate their "worthy" king the moment his back was turned.

Loki had tried to foil their mutiny, sending the Destroyer to dissuade Thor from returning. Loki was sure Thor hadn't changed, was sure he would only continue to court war, and was terrified of what might happen without Odin there to stop him.

How was _he_ to know how thoroughly a mere human woman had changed him? How was _he_ to know such a thing was even possible?

He _hadn't_ known. He only knew now, because she had changed him as well.

Not that it really mattered. Thor had been granted a second chance. Redemption.

But no such thing existed for him.

No one would ever believe he had changed. No one would ever trust him again. No one would ever pardon him of his innumerable sins.

No one would ever love him. _Could_ ever love the child of a demon who had proved he was no different than the monsters he came from.

So why did they resist now that they had chance to be rid of him? Why fight to save the damned?

Loki turned back to face Thor, his eyes darting to Jane momentarily, his vision blurry from unshed tears.

A small smile tweaked his lips. "Surely another can take my place."

Thor's face fell, and he shook his head in disbelief. "You are my _brother_ , Loki. No _other_ can take your place," Thor appealed.

Loki scoffed, a cold smile pulling at his lips. "Still singing that old tune, are we?" The amusement in his voice vanished as it turned to ice. "I'm not your brother. I'm your _enemy_. Now leave. Before I kill you both."

Thor stared at him incredulously, exhaling a huff of breath in disbelief. Loki was always one to talk tough but he meant very little of what he said. He couldn't possibly mean what he said now. "You would kill Jane?", Thor asked disbelievingly.

Loki's face revealed nothing of his thoughts. "If the Aether possesses one of you and manages to overtake you, it will only be a matter of time before every living creature in this universe is dead. I'll only be saving her the wait," he replied simply.

Jane, who had remained silent until that moment, stepped forward then, her stubbornness rising to the surface. She didn't care what threats he made. She wasn't leaving no matter what he said.

"Kill me, then. Because I'm not leaving," she replied, voice full of steel.

Loki connected eyes with her as he smiled and blinked out of existence, reappearing in front of her in an instant. He hid the intense pain that using his powers inflicted on him well, refusing to betray so much as a grimace.

He locked eyes with her, addressing her with a voice devoid of emotion. "You think I won't?", he challenged.

Loki's tall stature forced her to tilt her head back to maintain eye contact but she held his gaze steadily, refusing to back up a single step. He was still imposing, but she refused to allow him to frighten her. She saw Thor approach out of the corner of her eye, obviously concerned for her safety, but stayed him with an upraised hand. She sucked in a deep breath, staring into the fathomless depths of Loki's eyes and finding her calmness there. She shook her head. "Doesn't matter. I'm not going anywhere."

Loki searched her gaze, fighting back the stirring of desire brought on by her boldness. He was used to humans fearing him, and it had pleased him that they seemed to realize his power when others did not.

But Jane did not fear him and even though he could still sense trepidation from her, Jane stood fast. She was brave; far more so than she had right to be. He could snap her neck before she took her next breath. He could do so, even in the state he was in.

Which only further proved she needed to leave. _Now._

He steeled his gaze, allowing his voice to turn to ice. "We had our fun, little mortal, but we're done now. Go home, and take your blond boyfriend with you."

Jane exhaled a laugh, shaking her head in disbelief at how incredibly _thick_ he was. After all this time, did he truly not realize how she felt about him?

Did he actually _believe_ she still wished to be with Thor instead?

She lifted her hand and slapped him. " _I love you_ , you jackass!", she exclaimed loudly. "So, _stop_ telling me to go and just leave you to die here!"

Jane panted as the anger in her cooled to a light simmer. As her breathing quieted, the already silent world around them seemed to deafen further, and she noticed that Loki was only staring at her blankly.

Tears filled her eyes as she stared into his. There. She'd said it. It wasn't really how she'd imagined saying it, but there it was.

"I love you," she repeated heartfeltly. "So much. So, _please_. _Fight_. Don't give up."

Loki swallowed hard, still too shocked to really process as abstract an idea as her loving him, and shook his head, opening is mouth to tell her it was an impossible thing she asked.

Jane didn't allow him to answer, however, cutting him off before he could say the same thing she'd been hearing all along. " _The Aether cannot be destroyed_ ," she mocked. "Yeah, I've heard it already. But just because no one has been _able_ to destroy it yet, doesn't mean it _can't_ be destroyed."

Loki started to speak again but Jane was already talking before he could get a word out. "Those who have failed before, _did_ , because they were fighting the Aether as if it were a physical enemy. But it's not. It's incorporeal. You can't pulverize or cut it. The Aether is darkness. But your power is _light_. _You_ might be the one who can stop it."

Loki considered her words, acknowledging her argument had substance, but realized it was a moot point regardless. He was more dead than alive at this moment, his powers nearly snuffed out. He didn't have the strength to fight it. He barely had strength to stand.

He shook his head again. "I don't have the strength left to fight it. It's done," he whispered. He collapsed a second later, Jane just barely catching him and keeping him from crashing to the ground entirely.

Thor immediately appeared by their side, helping Jane to support Loki's deceivingly heavy form. He looked his brother over, realizing he had very little life left. "Could you draw power from me?", he asked, voice filled with desperation.

Loki ignored him. "Take her and get out of here _now_ , Thor. There isn't time." His breathing became more labored as it became harder to draw breath. "Please," he begged, looking Thor in the eyes and hoping to convey his desperation.

Jane shook her head immediately as she saw Thor's will weaken just slightly. "No. NO, I'm _not_ leaving," her voice shook as her throat constricted. "So, if you don't want the Aether to hurt me, you're just going to have to borrow the power from us to stop it."

She stared Loki in the eyes, daring him to tell her no.

He stared back at her for several moments, and finally nodded as he acknowledged she was right – she wasn't going to leave and Thor wasn't going to make her. And he had no way of making her. She would be in danger if he didn't try.

It was his only option to save her.

"We would need to join hands, to create a physical connection for the power to flow," he conceded. Jane felt her spirits alight with exhilaration at his words. "Once the connection is created… do not break it," he warned seriously. "We'll only have one shot at this."

Jane nodded enthusiastically and nearly smiled but found the ability to do so gone as she watched the man she loved fight for each breath.

"Got it," she nodded. Sitting down where she knelt, she grabbed Thor's hand with her left and pulled him to sit down beside her, and took Loki's hand in her right. She looked to Loki, and watched as he weakly joined hands with Thor.

Loki closed his eyes, focusing his weakened energies outward, and feeling for the energies within Jane and Thor. Their energies felt distinctly different, yet both were incredibly strong in their own way. He felt a tingle flow through him as the connections formed and flowed between the three of them. His powers surged back to life and he retreated far within himself to search out the Aether.

He wasn't sure what to do once he found it but he had to try _something_.

Jane watched as Loki kept his eyes closed, unsure what she could do to help him. Realizing there was little else she could do, she closed her eyes as well and focused on keeping her mind clear, worried that her anxiety might weaken the energy Loki was depending on.

The dark silence was unnerving and Jane was just about to steal a peek at Loki when a tisking noise suddenly broke through the silence. A jolt shot through her as she opened her eyes to find a perfect copy of herself standing directly behind Loki.

The copy smiled at her.

"Why are you trying to save him?", the copy asked in a voice identical to her own.

Jane glanced at Loki and Thor, but both still had their eyes closed and seemed completely unaware of the addition of a second Jane. It seemed only _she_ could see and hear her.

Realizing that the Aether was likely playing tricks on her, Jane closed her eyes again, determinedly ignoring it.

Several moments of silence passed uneventfully, and Jane peeked one eye open to see if the copy had disappeared. Jane expelled a sigh of relief to see it was gone.

And then nearly choked as the false Jane crouched down behind her, leaning in close enough for Jane to feel it's hair, _her_ hair, brush against her neck. Chills raced over her at the utter weirdness of it, but she willed herself to keep her mind focused.

Jane forced herself to remain silent. She couldn't allow herself to break Loki's focus. Closing her eyes again, she willed her mind to blank.

"He won't grow old with you, you know," it whispered then, leaning in close as if sharing a treasured secret. Jane felt her heart stutter and her hand clench Loki's. "He can't," it added bluntly. "You'll age, and he'll _watch_ you wither and die."

A soft chuckle entered Jane's ear and she had to bite back the sting of tears as the copy of herself whispered horrible truths in her ear.

Jane tightened her jaw, swallowing hard to clear the lump that had formed in her throat, and fighting the urge to tell the phantom to shut up.

She didn't _need_ anyone to tell her these things. She already _knew_. She'd long since confronted these truths since it would have been the very same had she stayed with Thor.

 _Neither_ of them could promise her forever. Because their "forever" would be far different than hers.

It was sadly ironic, that even being as long-lived as they were, she couldn't justify asking either of them to stay with her until the end. Because it was unfair to ask them to shoulder a burden she could never accept in return.

She couldn't ask them to carry the weight of caring for her as she aged, or suffer the pain of watching her die.

Not when she could never offer to do the same for them.

If she did, she'd be nothing more than a painful memory. And then she'd be nothing at all.

The false Jane smiled, seeming to enjoy how easily it was breaking Jane's focus. Breaking _Jane_.

Standing once more, the copy circled the trio leisurely, casting a disdainful look down at Jane. "That's _if_ you're lucky, anyway," it added cuttingly. "It's unlikely he'd stick around that long. He won't have much interest in you once you start to show your age."

Another snicker issued from the doppelganger, and Jane fought the urge to leap up and slap it.

The false Jane sighed, shaking her head wearily. Her lips pulled into a cruel smirk, a look of mock pity entering her eyes as Jane met her gaze with gritted teeth. "Not only will he _not_ grow old with you, but he won't even love you. Or mourn you, when you're gone."

Jane clenched her teeth as the crude copy of herself uttered those last words, unable to take another second of the torture being inflicted on her. Eyes tightly shut, Jane hunched over where she sat and screamed out " _Stop it!_ ", before she realized, and only realized it a moment too late.

The connection between the three of them broke instantly, the flow of energy severed.

Jane sucked in a sharp breath in, unable to believe what she'd just done. Loki had warned them that they would only have one chance at this.

And she'd just destroyed it.

No one had uttered a word since her outburst, and Jane felt a terrible stillness rise up within the silence.

She looked over at Loki, seeing his head bowed, and whispered his name.

"Loki?"

He didn't answer.

His breathing went still and the silence deepened.

At last, he raised his head and looked up. But not at her.

And the clear green depths she loved had been completely consumed by black.

* * *

Author's notes: Hi all! Sorry for the long hiatus (again)! This part of my story has been really difficult to write and I can only pray you all don't hate it. I tend to be a perfectionist, so it's hard for me to post this when I still feel it's so far from perfect, but I've made you all wait long enough as it is and I'll probably never feel it's perfect. Honestly, I'm still very new to writing and when I began this fanfiction, I'd only set out to write unrepentant smut, so this has been a real challenge for me to write this level of drama. I hope my efforts have been worth it though, and that you'll all stay with me to the end. I promise you that I have been working tirelessly to make sure I deliver you a good one! I'm so excited about where this story is headed next!

I just wanted to take a moment and say how much I love each and every one of you that have taken the time to show your support of my writing. I smile every time I see someone favorite this story or follow it. And my heart nearly bursts with happiness with every new review. So, truly, thank you, and I hope to make you all as happy as you've made me.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16 – …and Light

"Loki?", Jane whispered again, the plea in her voice begging him to answer her, but he didn't even seem to hear her.

His obsidian eyes stared lifelessly forward, and she watched in horror as his pale skin turned ashen and continued to darken until it had turned completely black.

It was as if he'd turned into a shadow, all traces of light gone.

Jane swallowed hard as she stared at the face of the man…, god?, she'd come to care about so dearly, and felt her heart splinter as she realized she wasn't looking at him anymore.

Because he wasn't in there anymore.

She could feel it. The link that was always there… The tether between their souls….

It was gone.

And not gone in the same way it was before she'd ever met him. Because even then, he'd been out there, somewhere. But now…

Now…

 _He_ was _gone_.

Tears pooled in her eyes, blurring everything beyond recognition, but she couldn't even bring herself to blink to clear them.

 _Loki… Oh, God,… I'm so sorry…_

A previously non-existent wind picked up around them, a malevolent energy swirling within its gusts. Thor stood and immediately moved to Jane's side, pulling her to stand effortlessly when she refused to respond. He pushed her behind him as he backed them away from the being that was once his brother.

Jane's mind was racing too fast to even consider asking what he was doing. The barrage of thoughts seemed to blend into a dull roar, and Jane could only stare at Loki's body as the agony of realizing she was to blame for this rose to the surface and pushed her under.

Her hair tossed wildly in the harsh wind, stinging her eyes, but even then she refused to blink.

She could hear Thor yelling to her but the words couldn't penetrate the din of her thoughts. Tears steamed from her eyes as she continued to stare at the fathomless depths of Loki's once clear-green eyes.

 _I did this._

 _I… I did this…._

"Loki," she whispered again, a barely-audible wail of anguish lost to the roar of rising wind around them.

Jane was jolted back into awareness as Thor suddenly shook her, shouting her name for a third time, but she hadn't heard the first two. She met his concerned gaze with a wide-eyed stare, unable to even blink as she stared at his grim expression. He looked like he was fighting himself to form words.

"Jane, I… I know you are in pain, but I need you to listen to me right now." He gave her another light shake to make sure he was getting through to her, and she finally blinked once. She nodded weakly to show she'd heard him.

He swallowed before he spoke his next words, pleading with her internally to just listen to what he asked her to do without need for explanation or argument.

Because he really didn't feel like he could provide either. There was no explanation or argument that would pardon what he was about to do.

Forcing himself to refocus, he held Jane's eyes with a commanding stare. "I need you to get as far away from here as you can. Do you hear me, Jane? Run and do _not_ stop."

Fear lit within Jane's eyes and her voice cracked as she spoke. "What do you mean? What're you going to do?"

Thor drew a deep breath in, wishing he didn't have to tell her. Wishing he didn't have to do what he was about to do.

"I need to stop him… _it_ ,… before it consumes this world. And everything beyond it," Thor responded, remorse heavy in is voice.

Jane was already shaking her head before he had finished speaking. "You,… you wouldn't kill him," she stated, fear lacing her words and making them sound less certain.

Thor met her gaze with his own tortured expression, his eyes glassy with unshed tears. "I wish there was another way, Jane. You know that," he pleaded. But he shook his head, because he knew there was only one. "But there is no other."

A burst of dark energy exploded outward from Loki's body just then, a red-black mist beginning to surround him in a swirling torrent. Loki's lifeless body slowly rose within the cyclone, suspended in midair by the rushing wind.

Seeing that he was out of time to try and reason with her, Thor summoned Mjolnir to his side. He looped his arm around Jane's side, and before she could speak a word of objection, he'd set her down so far from where they were that she couldn't even see Loki anymore. Fear spiked through her as she realized what he'd done but he was gone before she could demand he bring her back to where they were.

" _Thor!_ ", she cried, adrenaline rushing through her as she began to run in the direction he vanished.

Thor landed back in front of Loki, his heart stricken by the cry Jane released as he left her. He didn't want to do this – and it hurt him even more to know it would hurt Jane as well – but there was no way around it now. Loki had been completely overwhelmed by the Aether. Either he was dead or he was too weak to suppress it any longer.

It was one of the worst moments of his life to realize he wished for it to be the former, rather than the latter. Because he really didn't know how he would ever recover from knowing he was the one that had killed his brother.

Mjolnir, who never felt to him as if it weighed more than a feather, hung heavily in his hand as he strained to lift it.

"Forgive me, brother," Thor whispered, a tear escaping his left eye as he took aim at Loki's body within the cyclone of swirling energy.

Dark clouds formed and rumbled above him, crackling as he drew lightning into his hammer. Thor's arm shook as he held on and allowed Mjolnir to absorb as much energy as possible.

And then he let go.

Loki's body took a direct hit, the lightning entering it devastatingly, and dropping it onto to the hard ground.

A dull thud sounded and made Thor's stomach turn. He dropped Mjolnir instantly, having lost the desire to ever take hold of it again.

Because now, it wasn't a tool for justice.

It would now, and forever after be, the weapon that killed his brother.

Thor stared at Loki's lifeless body as it lay there on the ground, unsure what to do. It was a small relief to watch the color of his brother's skin return to its normal hue, the darkness fading away from all but the scorch marks on his chest. A small curl of smoke trailed upward from the wound.

Loki's eyes… the same clear, laughing, green eyes he'd looked into so many times… stared sightlessly into the darkened sky.

Unable to bear the terrible sight a moment longer, he dropped his head, the mere weight of it now more than he could hold.

Pounding footsteps in the distance preceded the sound of Jane's panting breaths as she finally came to a sudden stop behind him, but he couldn't bring himself to turn around and face her.

He'd known she wouldn't stay away. Which is why he'd taken her far enough away that she'd never have been able to make it back in time.

He'd done it to protect her, he told himself. To keep her safe and to spare her from witnessing what he'd been forced to do.

But he'd also done it to protect himself. Because he couldn't bear her hating him.

Which wasn't to say she still wouldn't hate him. He hated _himself_ for doing this…

He didn't think he'd ever be able to face her again…

Jane gasped then, snapping Thor out of his reverie as he turned to look at her. Her eyes were wide, fixed on a point beyond his shoulder.

Turning to see what she was looking at, he turned back around just in time to watch as the last of the Aether left Loki's body, and felt his stomach drop.

His attack hadn't worked at all... He'd only brutalized his brother's body.

The _Aether_ was unaffected.

"Jane. _Run_ ," Thor commanded, summoning Mjolnir back into his hand as he readied himself to mount another attack.

Jane willed her legs to heed Thor's command, but she could only stand there, frozen, as she stared at the physical manifestation of the entity that had taken so much from her.

"Jane!", she heard Thor yell, but the sound was muffled. Distant.

Seeing that she appeared to be in shock, Thor turned to the Aether and unleashed another blast of lightning directly at it, connecting and holding the attack with relentless force.

He prayed that the light from his lightning would be enough to obliterate it now that it was fully exposed. It had been protected during his last attack, using his brother's body like a shield.

Rage simmered in Thor's veins, his teeth gritting together so hard he tasted blood.

The strength of the lightning intensified, and the Aether sizzled in mid-air until it burst into an explosion of smoke and ash.

The sound echoed off the craggy rock, and a feeling of near-satisfaction filled him.

He almost smiled, but it seemed it would take more than defeating an invincible enemy to make him smile, as it faded easily from his lips before it had even formed.

He turned around to see if Jane was okay, but even as he took the sight of her in, he realized she would never be okay.

She stood there, gripping her right arm with her left hand, as if she was trying to hold herself together by sheer will.

"Jane…," Thor began, taking a step towards her as the desire to comfort her overwhelmed him.

Jane shook her head, about to raise her hand to stay him, to reassure him she was fine - when she was anything but - when she saw movement behind him.

Her heart leapt momentarily before it sunk once more.

The Aether was reforming.

Seeing the fear light in her eyes, Thor whipped around to attack again, but the Aether shot forward and slammed into him, knocking him onto his knees as it passed through him like a knife.

Thor cried out, gripping his chest where the Aether had pierced him. It felt like he'd been run through with a tree.

He spat blood onto the ground, sucking in air as he fought to regain his breath. Desperate to protect Jane, he looked up just in time to see the Aether converging on her.

His legs went out on him as he fought to stand and Mjolnir laid uselessly on the ground several feet away from him.

Fear coursed through him. It was no use. He wouldn't get to it in time.

He was going to lose them both…

 _No..._

" _Jane!_ "

Thor watched in horror as the sight of Jane's small body was blotted out by the Aether entirely, reaching his hand out futilely in a desperate attempt to save her just as an intense, blinding, bright light filled the entire area, obscuring Thor's sight completely. He squinted against the glare, fighting to regain his focus on Jane.

The light encompassed everything, then condensed into an orb of light that imprisoned the Aether within its boundaries. Jane and Thor watched in wonderment as the ball of light seemed to pulsate and shrink in size, as if it were crushing the Aether within it.

The orb of light struck a familiarity with him, but...

 _But how…?_

Thor whipped around to where Loki's body had fallen and could hardly believe his eyes as they locked on his brother's badly shaking form, his face strained as he held his arm out and manipulated the light with the last of his strength.

 _Loki..._

Turning back, Thor watched as the ball of light shrunk down to the size of a marble and then disappeared entirely, the Aether gone with it.

It had begun to seem impossible... But it was _gone_. The Aether... had actually been _destroyed_.

Stunned beyond belief, Thor turned back just in time to see Loki's trembling form collapse back onto the ground, his eyes closing as his head lolled to the side.

Thor and Jane cried out in unison.

" _Loki!_ "

* * *

Author's notes: Yay! I survived writing the really intense/action-y portion of this story that I was struggling so much with. I'm hoping things will pick back up now, and I can update this story for you guys more quickly. Crazy excited about everything I have plotted out to happen next. Stay tuned!


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17 – The Lost Prince

Heimdall looked on as the rainbow bridge completed its cycle, fulfilling its assignment in delivering Thor and Jane back to Asgard.

Jane stepped through the gateway first, her hair tossing wildly in the winds created by the vortex. Thor followed immediately behind, Loki's lifeless body draped in his arms. Whether the young prince was dead or merely unconscious, Heimdall could not discern.

Thor didn't speak a word, only nodded to the stalwart gatekeeper in thanks as he and Jane headed toward the castle.

Jane followed Thor in silence, struggling to keep pace with his long strides as her eyes continually strayed to Loki's face, searching for any signs of life. He still hadn't come to, and her fear was growing heavier with every moment that passed and he remained unconscious.

Jane's hands clenched and unclenched continuously as they drew closer the palace, anxious to have Loki inspected by the palace healers and praying with everything within her that they weren't too late to save him.

His pulse had been extremely weak when they checked while they were still on the Dark World, but it had been there.

 _Please still be there,_ she pleaded silently.

 _Don't leave me…_

Jane's heart leapt as they finally entered the palace, her footsteps feeling as though they had become a hundred pounds lighter. But the feeling was fleeting and her heart dropped as she took in the faces of their welcoming party.

The King and Queen, Thor's friends, and several guards stood there in wait, grave looks on their faces. It was strange. She'd expected a flurry of activity the moment they arrived.

 _What's going on?_

Her eyes focused on Odin, his overbearing presence no less choking than it had been the last time she'd seen him. His face was set in a hard stare. He didn't seem even slightly concerned that his son, Loki, was unconscious or so badly injured. Nor did he seemed pleased to find her still alive and well.

Well, she couldn't exactly claim to be happy to be seeing him once again, either. This man, whoever he thought he was, had spoken of her as if she were no more than a gnat. Her life was negligible in his eyes.

Jane felt her irritation begin to rise the longer everyone remained silent. What the _hell_ was going on? Why was everyone just standing around?! Loki was seriously hurt, maybe dying! If everyone knew they were coming, where were the healers?

Thor took a step forward then, but was immediately silenced as he began to speak. "Fath-,".

"Take him to the dungeon," Odin commanded coldly, nodding at the guards to remove Loki from Thor's arms.

The guards moved immediately to fulfill the King's will and Jane was struck silent with disbelief as she watched a burly-looking guard pluck Loki's limp body from Thor's arms with little delicacy. Her eyes darted to Thor's face, furious he was allowing this, but she remained silent when she saw his jaw clenched tight, his eyes flashing with rage.

She realized how powerless he must have felt in that moment, unable to stand against his father and King, no matter how much he may have wanted to.

Well, that might be his problem but Odin wasn't _her_ King.

Refusing to keep silent a moment longer, Jane stepped forward as Odin turned away from them, clearly signifying his business was finished here.

"What the _hell_ are you doing? Your son is hurt, possibly _dying_ , and you won't even give him medical attention?" Thor gripped her arm in an attempt to calm her, but she shook him off. If he wasn't going to defend Loki, she sure as hell was going to. "He isn't capable of hurting _anyone_ in the condition he's in! Why would he need to be placed in the dungeon?!"

Odin turned back towards her slowly, barely acknowledging her with a raised eyebrow before turning his eyes to Thor. Odin nodded at him, and Thor dropped his head as he stepped forward to follow.

Jane, too outraged to follow her better judgement, shook her head furiously as she watched them walk away.

Her nails bit into her palms of her hands as her fury boiled over. "No. _No!_ You are not going to put him in the dungeon," she yelled at Odin's retreating form.

The older man stopped in his tracks instantly but he didn't turn to face her.

"Do you wish to join him?" he asked imperiously.

Jane realized the question was meant as a threat but she didn't take it that way. If Loki was going to be put in the dungeon, then there was no _way_ she was going to let him end up there alone.

"Damn right I do. I'm not leaving his side," she declared firmly.

"As the lady wishes," Odin returned coolly, nodding to his guards as he resumed his withdrawal from the entry hall. Thor looked torn as he looked back at her, ready to come to her rescue, but she nodded at him to go on ahead.

Thor swallowed hard, hating the idea of allowing Jane to be placed in the dungeon as well, but he realized she would likely have it no other way. He nodded in return and turned to follow his father.

Jane watched them leave, anger simmering inside her as she stared at the back of the man that dared to call himself Loki's father. The idea that this man could behave so callously toward his own son…

It was no wonder Loki had trust issues.

Turning away in disgust, Jane followed the guards as they led the way down into the dungeon.

* * *

As Jane descended the final steps down into the underbelly of the castle, she was surprised to find the dungeon didn't look like anything she'd pictured. She'd expected dark and dank cells, complete with chains and bars, but instead found herself peering into brightly-lit rooms with no apparent means of confining the inmates within them.

Adrenaline rushed through her as one of the more fearsome-looking inmates approached the edge of his cell and leered at her, drawing far too close for comfort before he came to a sudden stop, an invisible force-field shocking him. It lit up and sparked where he'd made contact with it, causing him to shrink away from the source of pain.

 _Ah. No bars necessary, I see_ , Jane thought to herself, intrigued by the technology that made such a thing possible.

Turning back to the guards, Jane saw they had stopped in front of one of the cells, the one holding Loki nodded at her to step inside. Jane complied, relaxing only slightly before she bristled again when one of the guards dumped Loki's body onto the only bed inside the cell.

" _Hey!_ He's injured, you jackass!", she hissed at him.

The guard snorted derisively, shaking his head in amusement. "He's more durable than he looks, princess," he shot back dismissively.

Jane only glared at him, barely biting back a curse as he and the other guard stepped out of the cell and activated the barrier.

Jane watched the energy shield light up upon activation and then disappear entirely. It was still there, undoubtedly, ready to deliver pain to any that might disturb it.

She wondered for a moment if it would respond to a human but decided it was best not to try.

Turning back to Loki, Jane walked over to where he was laid out on the bed and gently sat down next to him. She laid a hand against his forehead, smoothing her fingertips across his skin. She didn't know whether to feel relieved or terrified that his skin felt cool to the touch. It was how he usually felt, but the last time she'd touched him, his skin had been burning hot.

It was so different from how he felt now… that this almost felt like death.

 _No._

"Loki," she whispered, her eyes searching his face for any type of reaction. Finding none, her jaw clenched and her eyes misted over once more.

She couldn't bring herself to call his name a second time, too terrified that he wouldn't answer her no matter how many times she called out to him.

 _Loki…_

A tear ran down her cheek and she laid down beside him, curling into his side. She laid her head on his chest, mindful of the wound still there, and wrapped her arm around his middle.

Just barely, she could make out the faint sound of a slow heartbeat, and she sucked a deep breath in as she focused on the precious sound. Closing her eyes, it wasn't long before the sweet rhythm lulled her to sleep.

* * *

Back in the throne room, Thor stood before Odin, perfectly aware that his father chose to sit on the throne for this discussion to remind him of his place.

Beneath him.

He'd come here to explain to his father everything that had happened on the Dark World, sure that his father would understand once he'd learned everything that had taken place there.

That Loki wasn't just some rogue criminal that had escaped his sentence to unleash havoc, but that he'd been trying to do something good.

But Odin had been silent for several minutes now, not even seeming to have acknowledged all Thor had told him.

Just as Thor was about to give in and speak, Odin broke the silence.

"And is it your opinion that Loki's actions on the Dark World should absolve him of his crimes?"

Thor bristled at Odin's tone, but forced himself to remain calm. Of course saving the entire Universe and destroying an incredibly dangerous and _invincible_ enemy wouldn't be enough to absolve Loki in Odin's eyes. Thor was fairly certain there was _nothing_ Loki could do that would do that.

"Of course not, father," Thor returned evenly. "I am merely stating that Loki acted entirely in opposition of self, which shows how much he's changed. He willingly took on the Aether so that he could trap it on the Dark World after he perished. He _destroyed_ it, after I completely _failed_ to destroy it and nearly allowed it to escape and take possession of Jane again; an event that, if it had been allowed to pass, would have endangered the entire Universe."

Odin remained silent, and Thor felt his frustration grow. "He saved us. He saved us _all_. _Everyone_ that is alive or ever will be. He destroyed an invincible enemy, when no other could. Had been prepared to allow it kill him, to protect Jane and every other living thing in this Universe. Tell me how that does not redeem him?"

Odin expelled a light scoffing noise and closed his eyes. "That boy is beyond redemption. His actions only prove a foolish fixation on that woman, and nothing more."

Disbelief filled Thor at those uttered words and he shook his head. "It is no small wonder that Loki became so lost and always felt the world against him. His own _father_ deserts him. He's had no one that he felt was truly his. Not even me. _You_ saw to that. You pitted us against each other. Made me his rival, his _enemy_ , when all I ever wanted to be was his brother and friend. And for what purpose? To ensure I was an adequate successor? To sharpen the edge of my greatness by providing the _illusion_ of a competitor?

"Because you surely never would have given him a chance to rule. No, you never even once _considered_ Loki a successor, no matter _how_ he outmatched me. Because who could _outmatch_ the _actual_ son of Odin? Surely not the innocent and unwitting offspring of an enemy race."

Thor's breath puffed out of him heavily, and he forced himself to calm, lowering his voice.

"Yes, Loki has made mistakes. Yes, he's allowed pain to influence his actions. But if accountability for one's actions is your concern here, then take some responsibility for _your_ part in his fall. You never told him the truth about what he was. You allowed him to discover it on his own, making it a betrayal as well as a shock, to discover he was born of our enemy. How many opportunities did you have, in a _century_ , to tell him the truth? To make him aware of what he was but that he was still loved, still _wanted_. But, no. No, you twisted him into what he has become. And the irony? He wanted to become you more than I ever would have wished to. He wanted your respect and your acknowledgement more than he ever wanted the throne. The throne that you bestowed upon the less-deserving son."

Thor was filled with self-disgust then as he confronted the utter truth in his words; as he recalled all the years, the _decades_ , that Loki had spent practicing the intricacies of diplomacy and rule, when he, himself, had done little more than behave like a foolish clod, raring for a fight.

Thor shook his head. How had he not seen this back then?

How had he accepted the crown, not realizing how little he had done to earn it?

By blood, and nothing more, had he won it.

Looking back up at his father, Thor released a wearied sigh. "Well, I don't want the throne." He set Mjolnir down on the floor in front of the throne, the resounding clank echoing in the large expanse of the room. "You can leave it to a stranger for all I care."

Thor turned to leave, but cast a glance back over his shoulder before he walked away.

"Or,… you can leave it to a son..."

And with that, he abdicated the throne room and any right he had to it.

* * *

It was dark.

Loki was lost deep within the darkness, memories of the past pulling him ever deeper into the abyss.

The memories were jumbled and blurry, and Loki wondered to himself if this was what it was like to die: to see your entire life flash before your eyes.

He found himself irritated by the notion. He'd already lived all of this once. There was no need for it to assail him a second time.

 _Just end it._

His own voice sounded within his mind then, echoing as it grew louder.

" _If I'm for the axe, then for mercy's sake, just_ swing _it."_

The memories cleared with those words, seeming to slow down and focus.

A younger version of himself appeared in his memory, battling alongside Thor and their friends in the Jotunheim.

He remembered this day.

 _It was Thor's coronation day…_

Or, would have been, had they not gone to the Jotunheim.

Loki tensed, already knowing what came next as the scene focused on one of the Frost Giants as it attacked and gripped onto his arm.

The younger version of himself ripped his arm away from the offending touch, regarding the appendage with fascinated horror as the skin turned the same shade of blue as the monsters he fought.

He hated this moment. Why show him this? Why remind him of the moment he realized…

That he was the same as them.

The younger version of himself froze, his eyes widening as they turned glassy and sightless. He _seemed_ to see nothing, but Loki knew what he saw. Because he had seen it too. He saw the even younger forms of Thor and himself, as they walked alongside their father, _Thor's_ father, their small hands clasped in the larger man's firm grip.

It was the day Odin had told them the story of their enemy, the Frost Giants. Both little boys had listened with wide-eyed fascination as Odin had told them the tale.

But while Loki had felt apprehension and fear to learn monsters were real, Thor's face had lit with anticipation of conquest. Thor showed no fear at all as he declared proudly, "When I'm King, I'll hunt down the monsters and slay them all!"

The older memory faded and Loki watched as the younger version of himself slowly came back to himself, lowering his hand and looking even younger as he realized the truth.

That _he_ was the monster his brother sought to destroy.

" _I'll hunt the monsters down and slay them all!"_

Loki jolted out of the memory, and the darkness returned. Loki found the darkness soothing this time, and welcomed the endless abyss if it meant the memories would stop.

But if the flashback of memories was finished, did that mean he was dead now?

 _Is it over?_

A light, pleasing scent entered his nose just then, and instantly Loki thought of Jane. She always had the same soft scent. It was warm and wonderful and entirely her own.

The scent set off an intense pang of longing. He wanted to see her again. It was all he wanted.

 _Jane…_

Loki felt as though he could actually _feel_ her, and a sensation of bliss flooded through him. Maybe it _was_ all over then? Loki wasn't sure how it could be, but maybe this was…

"Valhalla?"

The word fell from Loki's lips, causing him to feel the minute vibrations of his vocal cords.

It was enough to bring him to, and his eyes fluttered opened slowly, seeing nothing but blinding white above him.

The scent and feeling he sensed earlier seemed to intensify and Loki turned his head slightly to the left, finding Jane asleep beside him, her body curled against his own.

Loki could hardly believe his eyes. Shifting just slightly as he moved to see if she was actually real, Loki cringed in pain as nearly every muscle in his body protested the small action. An anguished sound wrenched out of him before he could stop it, and Jane stirred awake.

Her eyes blinked open and focused on Loki, widening as she took in that he was awake. "Loki?!" She sat up and stared at him in disbelief. "Loki!" she cried and threw her arms around him, still being mindful of his wound.

Loki cringed again in pain, but stayed silent. He would endure any amount of pain if it meant touching her again. "Jane." His mind raced as it struggled to piece together everything that had led up to this moment. He pulled back and looked around them, realizing instantly where they were. He understood why he would be put back in the dungeon – he'd broken his house arrest order, after all - but not why she was there with him. He looked back down at her. "Why are you here?"

Jane seemed angry for a moment but then her eyes softened. "Because _you're_ here! When Odin ordered you to be placed in the dungeon, I fought him on it. He asked if I wanted to join you – I think he thought it was some kind of threat – and I accepted instantly. I wasn't going to let them put you in here alone."

Loki absorbed her words and felt his heart strengthen and throb. It was unusual for him to feel so touched, so _warmed_ , by another's words, but he was growing to expect it from her.

And he found he liked it.

Sliding his hand around the back of her neck, he pulled her closer as he leaned down. She met his lips easily, sighing into his kiss and allowing him to deepen it. Loki felt his libido rise, but forced it back down. They were completely on display in this room, and he was hardly in any condition to act on his desires anyway.

Pulling back reluctantly, Loki gazed in her eyes. He found he wanted to say thank you, but the words were so unfamiliar to him now that they stuck in his throat.

He opened his mouth to try anyway, but a movement out of the corner of his eye silenced him. Two guards had appeared outside of the cell.

The one on the right deactivated the barrier. "The King will see you now."

A sense of foreboding flooded him. There was no need for Odin to call him out of the dungeons if all his punishment was going to amount to was being sent right back to them. That must mean that a more severe punishment lay in store…

Loki rose from his seat on the bed, fighting to hide how much the movement hurt him, and turned to ask Jane to wait for him here. If he was about to be sentenced to death, he didn't want her to be present for the sentencing. "Jane –"

"The girl too," the guard added brusquely, cutting Loki off.

Loki nearly growled, furious that Odin would force Jane to be subjected to this unnecessary cruelty, but held it back. Instead, he extended his hand to Jane, who quickly took it and rose to follow him.

* * *

Author's notes: Sorry for the long wait on this chapter. I hope it was worth the wait though. And I truly _am_ sorry it took so long - I've been dealing with a lot of very stressful stuff lately, ranging from deciding which graduate program to pick, to my father being hospitalized suddenly for something very serious. This story serves as a nice escape from all of that though, so I'm happy to finally deliver this chapter to you. :) Anyway, I could actually use some help with the first issue, if you don't mind weighing in. I am trying to pick between a graduate program in Creative Writing (my heart's desire) or a graduate program in Project Management (what my brain is telling me is the more sensible choice). What do you all think? Should I pursue my dream to become a professional writer? If I'm being honest, I _do_ feel like I should listen to my heart,... but then, is that just every Disney movie I've ever seen talking? Please help me decide!


	18. Chapter 18

Author's notes: This is a short chapter, but action-packed, I assure you. Hope you enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 18 – Judgement

Loki stepped down out of the cell, holding onto Jane's hand to steady her as she followed. Turning to face the guards, he stopped short when he realized they hadn't moved to lead the way.

It didn't take a genius to figure out what they were waiting for.

Loki exhaled an exasperated sigh and extended his arms, holding them palm up in front of him. The guard on the left stepped forward and snapped the spell-binding handcuffs around his wrists.

Jane bit her lip to stop herself from protesting, realizing that Loki must still present too much of a threat in their minds, to allow him to wander freely. Even in the condition he was in, his magical capabilities were still functional.

After the cuffs were secure, the guards turned to lead the way, leaving Jane and Loki to follow. Loki walked alongside Jane in silence, debating whether or not he should warn her about what was about to happen. Even if he didn't know exactly what awaited him, he wasn't deluded. He knew nothing good could come of being summoned now.

"Jane," he spoke low enough so only she could hear him.

She turned her head to look at him, her worried eyes locking on his own. Loki felt his heart constrict. Jane wasn't dim either. She undoubtedly knew this would end badly as well as he did.

But then, he had known from the very beginning that this would end badly. No matter what he did, he only seemed capable of inflicting pain on those around him.

If that was the case, then if nothing else, he would spare her pain for as long as he was able to.

He forced a small smile, quirking a brow at her. "Now what's that worried look for?" he asked smoothly. "You couldn't possibly be worrying about _me_ , could you? After all, how could you forget?" He leaned in close as if he was sharing a secret, whispering into her ear. "I'm a god."

The fear faded from her eyes instantly and a small, very real smile touched her lips as a laugh escaped her.

Loki's heart warmed at the sight and he smiled back at her genuinely. He just couldn't bring himself to confirm her fears.

Not when he would die just to preserve her smile.

The guards stopped suddenly, breaking Loki out of his spell. So lost in her eyes, he hadn't realized their arrival in the throne room until they were already there. He looked up, only to see a stone-faced Odin looking down on him.

 _Well, this is a familiar scene…_

Looking off to the side, Loki spotted his mother where she usually stood for such formal events. Something deep down inside him looked to her for compassion but she kept her eyes downcast and her hands clasped in front of her.

At his previous sentencing, she had argued for his punishment to be reduced from imprisonment in the dungeon, to imprisonment within the castle walls. It had been a substantially more lenient sentence, even if he hadn't been willing to admit it at the time. He had been grateful for her intervention on his behalf.

But it seemed this time, not even she would be coming to his defense.

Looking back up at Odin's expression, Loki saw in his eyes that any such attempt would have been lost anyway, and so he held no ill-will against his mother for seeing a lost cause for what it was.

And maybe that's all he had ever been…

A lost cause.

"Loki," Odin bellowed, and Loki felt his heartbeat pick up pace as he fully realized the moment of no return had arrived too quickly.

His judgement was already here and he hadn't been able to tell Jane what he needed to.

That she meant more to him than he could ever hope to convey. That she was the person he most dearly loved in this entire universe.

But the moment had passed and now he would never be able to tell her.

"You have been called here to be made accountable for your actions," Odin continued imperiously. "You purposely disobeyed the only condition of your sentence, leaving Asgard without permission."

Loki nearly rolled his eyes. Odin's rules were all that mattered to him and it didn't matter if Loki had had good reason to break them. He could explain the motivation behind his actions until he was blue in the face, but it would serve little purpose. His motivationdidn't matter.

His _sentence_ had already been decided.

"So, I am for the axe, is it?" Loki replied calmly, fighting the urge to look at her. He didn't want to see the pain in her eyes. As long as he kept his eyes forward, he could keep the image of her perfect smile in his memory until the end. "Shall we dispense with the dramatics, then, and proceed to the execution?"

Loki wanted this over as fast as possible. The sooner he was put out of his misery, the sooner Jane would be put out of hers.

 _I'm sorry, Jane._

"As King, and your father, _I_ shall render your judgement."

Odin drew his staff, aiming it straight at Loki.

Jane's eyes widened in horror as she realized Odin was going to kill Loki right where he stood. Any hope she had for a miracle evaporated right before her eyes.

" _No!_ " she screamed, fighting against the guard holding her in place.

Loki swallowed hard, hating his father more than he ever had in that moment for forcing Jane to witness his death. She didn't deserve this kind of torment.

He closed his eyes, rage coursing through his veins. "Have done with it then," he commanded curtly, not wishing to draw it out any longer than necessary.

Several moments passed but breath still filled his lungs. Loki snarled, prepared to demand his own death and opened his eyes to do so just in time to see Odin turn, taking aim at Jane instead.

Loki went rigid with shock, reacting a second too late as a bolt of energy left Odin's staff and entered Jane's body.

Jane had no time to react, and only stood there and watched as a flash of light traveled from Odin's staff and entered her body with a paralyzing force. Loki's muffled scream of " _Jane!_ " was the last thing she heard before everything went dark.

The guard standing beside her caught her limp form before it could hit the ground and Loki's soul raged.

His hands shook as he processed everything that just happened.

 _Why?_

He turned his seething eyes on Odin. "You kill someone who is innocent to punish me?! What justice is there in that?! She's done nothing but remove the greatest threat to this or any other world. Without her, I never would have been able to destroy the Aether."

Odin had the audacity to expel an amused huff at Loki's outburst and the only thing that kept Loki from his throat was the armed guards surrounding him.

"Kill her?" Odin asked, genuinely confused. "I accomplished quite the opposite, I would say. She will live as long as you now...

"Future King of Asgard."


	19. Chapter 19

Author's Notes: Hi all! Sorry getting out this chapter has taken me so long. I started graduate school about a month ago, and it's been keeping me very busy. It's been killing me not to get this next chapter out though, since I saw a few people were worried that my last chapter was the end of the story. I assure you there is still quite a bit more I wish to accomplish before we get to the end. I have at least 2 or 3 more chapters planned as of now (maybe more if people really seem interested). Please just be patient with me. I wish I could write more, but the irony is that my being in school to learn how to be a writer is preventing me from writing as much as I'd like to right now. :) But please stick with me. Enjoy!

Chapter 19 – King

Jane shifted where she lay, slowly becoming aware of the feeling of luxurious softness all around her. She sighed happily, stretching as she reveled in the comfortable feeling. Sleep pulled at her to give in and fall back asleep.

And she might have, but something wasn't right…

Her eyes flew open and the ornate ceiling of an unfamiliar room greeted her. Her brow wrinkled as she tried to remember how she came to be here.

Coming up with nothing, her mind struggled to catch up as scattered memories filtered back in. Sorting through it all, the last thing she could remember was Odin pointing his scepter at her.

Fear shot through her and her hand flew up to her chest, as she felt around for the gaping hole she expected to find there.

But there was nothing there.

Jane's heartbeat slowed back down to normal as she tried to figure out what happened. It didn't make sense… how could she still be alive if Odin, himself, had meant to kill her?

Am _I –_ "Alive?" she finished aloud to test if she could hear her own voice.

"Very much so," a feminine voice answered from another corner of the room, and Jane sprung up from her position on the bed to find its source. Her eyes landed on Frigga, and Jane felt herself calm instantly. Even if Odin was someone she should fear, she just couldn't view Loki's mother as a threat. Not when she was one of a few that didn't regard Loki as a villain.

Frigga smiled and approached the bed slowly, not wishing to alarm the young woman again. "You are very much alive," Frigga repeated gently. "In fact, I think it might be safe to assume you feel better than you ever have before?"

Jane's brow wrinkled again – Frigga's question struck her as odd, but focusing inward, Jane did find that she felt tremendously good. Which was rather remarkable, considering she had felt nearly at her breaking point before she'd awoken. Even with the Aether no longer draining her, she had pushed herself for too long and had long-passed exhausted her wearied body.

But she felt incredible now – entirely rejuvenated. There's was a… _lightness_ that filled her, like nothing she had ever felt before. It was almost like gravity had less of a hold on her. It felt wonderful, but it was so different it felt wrong too.

Looking back up at Frigga, Jane saw something obscured in her kind eyes. "What… happened… to me?" Jane asked hesitantly, a sense of foreboding growing rapidly within her.

Frigga smiled tightly, dropping her head momentarily before bringing her chin back up resolutely, meeting Jane's eyes. "I _believe_ my husband thought he was acting in everyone's interests, and so he sought no permission. Or rather, I don't believe he understands the concept," Frigga added with chagrin.

Trepidation filled Jane and the sheets she sat on bunched in her fist as she waited for Frigga to finish. What was she getting at? Permission to do what?

Frigga's smile brightened a bit to try and ease the fear in Jane's eyes, but there was a sadness shining in her own. The words came to her slowly.

"He's… he's made you the same as us," Frigga stated plainly yet gently. She watched as Jane's gaze dropped to the floor, her words and their meaning likely too much for her to absorb immediately.

Wishing to explain so that Jane fully understood what she was saying, Frigga went on. "Your lifespan has been lengthened to match ours. You won't grow ill, or age at the pace you did before." Frigga paused momentarily, waiting to see if Jane would ask any questions, but she merely sat there, staring down at the floor.

"You are not immortal," Frigga clarified quietly. "None of us are. But now, you will have a much longer lifespan."

 _Roughly 60 times longer_ , Frigga thought to herself but decided there was no need to drop everything on Jane at once. She still hadn't spoken.

Frigga swallowed, taking a small breath in. Jane undoubtedly already knew what she was about to tell her.

"I'm sure you've already concluded what this means for you." Frigga spoke gently, feeling a sympathetic pain form in her chest. "You cannot continue to live on Earth. If you do, you will never be able to stay in one place, or maintain the same identity for too long. It will raise too many questions when people begin to realize you do not age."

Jane sat there, not speaking a word for so long that Frigga began to worry. "Jane?" she asked gently.

Unable to process anything Frigga had just told her, Jane lifted her head to ask the only question her mind could form. "Where's Loki?"

Frigga smiled genuinely at that, and nodded her head toward the open bedchamber door. "He's in his quarters next door. He was still too injured to be moving about as he was, so the healers induced a deep sleep to allow him to heal."

Jane only nodded.

"You can see him if you want," Frigga offered. "He won't awaken for some time, but I'm sure it will put his spirit at ease to have you by his side."

Jane stood at that, and walked toward the doors in a daze. She stopped just in front of them, turning to look back at Frigga. Her mind was still foggy, but the moments up until she fell unconscious were becoming clearer.

"I thought Odin was going to kill him," she stated quietly.

Frigga expelled a short, but amused sigh. "Yes, it seems my husband has a flair for the dramatic. He certainly did nothing to dissuade anyone of that notion, but he didn't kill Loki," Frigga reassured her. Then added, "He made him King."

* * *

" _King?_ " Loki asked, scoffing in disbelief.

His father looked down on him coolly, as if he had not just turned the entire world on its head. "Eventually, yes. To be more precise, you have been named my successor," Odin replied.

"But,…" Loki looked around, confounded. Surely this must be some kind of practical joke. He always was the punchline in Asgard.

But no one was laughing…

 _Could this be real?_

"But,… Thor…?"

"Has renounced the throne," Odin finished for him.

Loki looked over his shoulder at Thor. Thor nodded at him, smiling slightly to show he bore his brother no ill-will for being named the new successor.

Quite the contrary in fact, he now felt that he had always deserved it.

Too at a loss for words, Loki shook his head as he aimed to right it. "And what purpose did changing Jane into one of us play into all of this?" Loki asked with suspicion, still unable to believe this whole thing could be anything more than a trick.

Odin sighed, shaking his head. "It has become abundantly clear that girl has unexpected power. She has, in effect, cost me one successor to the throne. I was not about to allow her to claim another. You clearly feel for the girl. Her inherent weakness would have made her _your_ weakness. I have made it so that she does not require your protection. I have made it so you will not lose her to death so easily."

Loki stood there, stunned beyond words. Beyond thought. A heavy hand slapped into his back suddenly, and it took a moment for Loki to recover before he looked up into the laughing eyes of Volstagg.

"Honestly, Loki, this has been your life's dream. Is there nothing you wish to say? Has that silver tongue turned to lead once more?"

Loki ignored him, looking back up at Odin. "You… you would _allow_ her to be my queen?" Loki asked disbelievingly.

Odin looked down at him in exasperation. "I would not have made her like us if I disapproved her as your choice."

* * *

" _King?"_

Jane's confused voice echoed in her head as she walked across the expansive hallway, her feet seeming to move under their own power as her mind was lost in chaos.

" _Yes. In time,"_ Frigga had confirmed gently.

Jane shook her head fiercely, clearing her mind of the memory. Replaying it did no good. It still didn't make sense. There was just too much to take in. Too much to accept and adjust to.

It was making her dizzy.

Which is why she just needed to see him. She just needed to see him and everything would be okay again.

Taking a deep breath in, Jane approached the set of doors leading to Loki's chamber, trepidation filling her as she noted the armored guards standing sentry in front of them. It seemed a bit overkill, but she supposed it was only natural if all of this was real.

If Loki was to be King, it only made sense that his room would be guarded while he slept.

Swallowing hard, Jane braced herself to speak to them, but was struck dumb as the guards stepped aside instantly, silently granting her entry.

Not really knowing whether or not she should say anything to them, Jane simply walked up to the doors and pushed them open, entering Loki's chambers.

The room she entered was immense and very differently decorated than the room she had been quarantined in or the one she had just awoken in.

These quarters were decorated much more lavishly, deep emerald green and gold accents gracing most of the room.

Jane smiled at how much it reminded her of him, and wondered what originally drew him to these colors. It was something she would need to ask him one day. A day when there weren't already so many other questions swimming in her head.

Moving to his bedside, Jane saw Loki was still sleeping, his face turned slightly toward her. A chair was next to his bedside and she pulled it a bit closer as she sank down into it. Gazing down at his tranquil face, Jane felt emotion rise up within her and stick in her throat. So much had happened in these past few months. And _none_ of it had prepared her for this. For her sudden change _or_ his.

She was… well, she didn't even know _what_ she was now,... but he... _he_ was King.

 _King_ …

A mirthless laugh escaped her, tears welling in her eyes as a bitterness rose in her throat.

Fate was irrepressibly cruel, it seemed. Her comparatively short lifespan no longer kept them from being together, but an even greater foe had risen up to take its place.

It was ironic. But then again, karma usually was.

Jane had known she could never have a happily ever after with Thor because he had been destined to be King. And life wasn't some fairy tale where the King married a commoner. Let alone a commoner from another world. She had always known there was an expiration date on their dream romance.

It was an expiration date she had hastened herself, by falling in love with his brother instead.

Which was why it was probably only fair, that no happily ever after existed for her with Loki either.

Because now, Loki was just as out of reach as Thor had been. No one would accept her as Loki's queen any more so than they would have accepted her as Thor's.

No matter what, it seemed fate just wouldn't allow them to be together.

A tear dripped off her cheek, landing on her collar bone and rolling down her skin. The tiny sensation snapped her out of her daze.

Standing on shaky legs before she could lose it entirely, Jane turned sharply and walked away without another backward glance.

It was already too much knowing that she had to leave her home and everyone she had ever cared about to live on a world that was entirely foreign to her. But to add to that, that she had to live out her suddenly _very_ long life _without_ him. To see him marry another. To live thousands of years with this _pain_.

It was more than too much.

It was more than she could _bare_.

She nearly bumped into one of the guards as she stumbled out of the room, not stopping even when one called out to her.

She walked quickly, barely fighting the urge to give in and run.

She didn't know where she was going, but she knew one thing.

She couldn't stay here.


	20. Chapter 20

Author's notes: Hi everyone! I'm so sorry this story has been on hiatus for so long. I'm a full-time graduate student (in addition to having a full-time job), so I don't get very much time to write anymore. It just breaks my heart too much to think people may have given up on this story though, so I wanted to assure you I have not given up on it. This chapter is a bit short because I wanted to get _something_ out to prove I had not abandoned it, but rest assured I will post the next chapter soon.

* * *

Chapter 20 – Home

When Jane finally came to a stop, it was only because she couldn't go another step; not without stopping to take a breath first.

She bent over, bracing her hands on her knees as the air burned in her lungs and a stitch formed in her side. How long had she been running?

She looked up to see the immense, rainbow-hued bridge stretched out before her, beckoning her the way back home.

 _Home_ … It was strange, but the thought gave her no solace; elicited no warm feeling.

Because her heart had found its home somewhere else.

Glancing back at the gleaming palace in the distance, Jane felt her heart ache at the thought of leaving… especially without even saying goodbye.

But what place would there be for her here if she stayed? And how could she bring herself to say goodbye?

She and Thor were done. And she and Loki had never even had a chance.

Tears stung her eyes and she turned back to the bridge, staring at it vacantly as an emptiness bloomed in her chest.

 _Home..._

It wasn't much, but…

 _It's all I have now._

Jane tucked her hair behind her ear and walked toward the gate, her footsteps and her heart feeling heavier with every fall.

It felt like forever and somehow only a moment before she found herself at the edge of no return. The tremble in her hands reached her heart as it fought against her to change her mind.

Stepping inside the orb-shaped chamber, Jane jumped and whirled around as Heimdall's deep voice greeted her.

"Is there something I can help you with, Miss Jane Foster?" The fearsome looking guardian stepped out of the shadows to reveal himself. He was just like a shadow himself; she hadn't noticed him at all as she entered.

Jane swallowed and looked back at the gateway, wishing he _could_ help her.

But he couldn't; no one could. No one could grant her the only thing she wished for. The only thing she could never ask for. Not when she knew what such a selfish wish could cost.

 _Can you take away the only thing he's ever wanted?_

The thought stung even as she briefly humored it within the confines of her mind. It was so incredibly selfish. She couldn't ask or allow Loki to give up the throne for her. If that was even an option…

"Home." The word left Jane's lips without a thought. She looked back at Heimdall, her heart sinking at her utterance but unable to bare staying knowing she could never be with him. "I want to go back home," she whispered, her voice wavering and betraying her lie.

Heimdall assessed her quietly and nodded. "If that is your wish. You are not a prisoner." He leveled an intense look at her. "But you understand your position, should you return?"

Frigga's words returned to her with force then, echoing in her mind as their impact was fully realized.

" _Your lifespan has been lengthened to match ours. You won't grow ill, or age at the pace you did before…_

" _I'm sure you've already concluded what this means for you._

" _You cannot continue to live on Earth. If you do, you will never be able to stay in one place, or maintain the same identity for too long. It will raise too many questions when people begin to realize you do not age."_

Jane felt utterly lost in that moment. She had no _home_ to go back to then. Not for long anyway. She couldn't stay more than fifteen or twenty years, not without raising suspicion. And suddenly that span of time seemed so short…

And did she really _want_ to stay and watch the only people she cared about die, one after the other, while she remained frozen in time?

For probably the billionth time, she puzzled at why Odin had made her like them. Was it meant as a reward for assisting in the destruction of the Aether?

Or a curse… for interfering with his world and his sons? Because no matter his intention, it felt like nothing but the latter right now.

"I understand," Jane answered softly. "I'll make sure no one finds out."

Heimdall stepped forward, activating the portal without a word, nodding to her as he bid her farewell. "Safe travels, then, Miss Jane Foster."

Jane smiled weakly at him, nodding her thanks, and fighting the swell of disappointment that he had abided her request.

She stepped forward, attempting to steel her nerves, the portal suddenly seeming much more threatening without someone making the journey with her. She hesitated, her legs locking in place even as she willed them forward.

She stood there frozen for what felt like an eternity before finally acknowledging the truth.

She didn't want to leave. She didn't want to leave _him_ , no matter what that might mean for their future. No matter what pain it might bring her…

"Jane."

Jane whipped around, her hope crashing and falling as she took in the sight of Thor standing before her.

He looked at her like she stood on the edge of a cliff, and Jane couldn't deny that that summed up precisely how she felt in that moment.

Heimdall deactivated the portal and the sound of rushing air ceased, leaving a terrible silence in its wake.

"You're leaving," Thor stated more than asked and Jane hastily protested when the words pierced her with accusation.

"No! No, I…," she looked at him with lost and hopeless eyes. "I…," she trailed off and swallowed, her throat constricting with the motion. "I don't know," she finally stated quietly. She looked down. "I don't know where I belong anymore." The words came out choked and tears flooded her eyes, and before she knew it, she was sobbing openly.

Thor swept forward and pulled her into his arms, consoling her.

He spoke into her ear quietly yet firmly. "You will _always_ have a place here, Jane. No matter what; know that."

Jane buried her face in his shoulder and shook her head stubbornly, unable to speak the words to contradict him. It felt so wonderful to hear him say those words, but he didn't understand. Didn't understand the agony he was offering her. How it pained her to think of a future so close and yet so far from the man she loved.

But Thor only smiled and swung her up into his arms as if she was feather-light. "You have no business making any decisions in the state you're in. Come. Rest. You can decide when you awaken," he reassured her. She looked like she was about to protest, so he quickly added, "No one will force you to stay if you decide to go, but please do not make this decision until you've rested."

Jane, too tired to argue, and reluctant to deny him such a small request after all she'd done to him, nodded weakly and laid her heavy head against his shoulder.

"Okay," she whispered, though fear bloomed in her chest. She had intended to leave before Loki awakened, because she knew once she saw him, all power in her to leave him would leave her. She would stay with him no matter what little she meant to him, no matter how small a place she held in his life.

And it would kill her… but suddenly, she found she was not so afraid of dying.

Thor, oblivious to her inner turmoil, smiled and nodded with content, then turned to follow the bridge back home.

* * *

The trip back to the castle was lost in a haze. Jane dozed, only just barely rousing when Thor placed her down on something soft as a cloud. She sighed dreamily and gave in to sleep, happy to forget reality… if only for just a little while…


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21 – Reality

As Loki awoke, he noted the pain and exhaustion had vanished. The sleep he'd been placed under seemed to have done its job, and for that he was thankful, as sleep was the last thing he wished to be wasting his time with right now.

His current reality seemed too good to be true, and with the absence of the agonizing pain he had been feeling for weeks, he really wondered if he might be dreaming.

 _Only one way to find out…_

He sat up in bed and immediately detected her presence. She was in the castle, though _where_ , he was unsure. He stood, heading in the direction of her quarters with haste, but stopped dead in his tracks as he passed Thor's cambers.

His eyes locked on the doors.

She was in _there_ …

A flare of fury lit within him. What was she doing in _Thor's_ chambers?

He stalked up to the double-doors, stopping and gritting his teeth as he placed his hand on the door handle, before finally swallowing and turning it. The massive door swung open, and he found her sleeping soundly in Thor's four-poster bed.

Livid, Loki nearly slammed the door and left, but a strong possessiveness rose inside him to counter the burn of rejection. She was _his_. In _every_ way. She had _never_ been Thor's.

And he _wasn't_ going to leave her in his brother's bed.

He strode forward, plucking her up from the covers effortlessly, careful not to wake her, and strode from the room, Jane still sleeping soundly in his arms.

* * *

As Jane stirred awake, she noticed she was unable to move. Having experienced sleep paralysis before, she wondered if her marathon sprint the previous day had anything to do with it, since her previous experiences were usually brought on only when she pushed herself too far.

But when her eyes opened on her first try, she knew this wasn't what she'd experienced before.

Her eyes adjusted slowly and even though it was dark, she noticed a shadow above her, darker than the rest of the room.

Fear seized her before she recognized the tendrils of hair hanging down in her face, and then her heart constricted for a different reason.

"Lo-" her voice cut off as a hand pressed against the base of her throat, not restricting her breathing but warning her to be silent.

"So, you _didn't_ forget me." Jane's skin prickled at the ice in his voice. "I would have thought differently, given how quickly you jumped into my brother's bed."

Jane's body tensed as her mind raced. She remembered Thor finding her at the rainbow bridge and carrying her back here, but she didn't remember anything after that. She didn't even remember falling asleep.

She started to speak but was cut off again.

"Or have I simply misunderstood?" he asked tersely, his voice trembling as he spoke again. "Was I only considered when my brother _wasn't_ an option?"

Jane's heart clenched, and she shook her head in fierce denial, but still he didn't let her answer.

Tears collected in his eyes as his skin shifted from porcelain to steel-blue. His eyes blazed crimson red in the darkness, searching desperately for acceptance in her own. " _Am_ I only a monster, unworthy of love in anyone's eyes?" A tear broke free and dropped onto her cheek, and Jane felt her heart break in reply.

She gazed up at him tenderly and reaching up slowly, gently grasped the hand resting against her throat, and dragged it down to rest over her heart instead. Loki didn't fight her. Jane closed her eyes and felt a tear slip free from one of her own, as she realized how much she would miss the feeling of him touching her. How much she would miss _him_.

When she opened her eyes again she noticed how his glimmered like dark emerald jewels in the low light again. He never did stay in his true form for long. Had they been able to stay together, she would have made it her mission to make him understand how beautiful she found him. The _real_ him. She would have made him realize he didn't need to hide himself from her. That she loved him just as he was.

She regretted more than anything that she would never have that chance.

"I _love_ you, Loki. I _want_ to be with you. But that just isn't possible anymore. You're going to be _King_. How can I be with you?" Jane's voice became more despairing with every word as reality asserted itself painfully. "I'm not royalty. I'm not even Asgardian. They will never accept me. _Us_. I can't stay here with you, only to be a detriment to you. I want you…"

Her words died away as he pressed a cool finger to her lips, silencing her again. Worried that he didn't believe her, she opened her mouth to speak again, but a strange light in his eyes kept her silent.

Loki sat back, pulling her to sit as well. Unable to resist him, she went willingly as he pulled her onto his lap. A feeling of déjà-vu filled her as he placed them in the same position they'd been in the night of their first kiss – albeit more fully dressed. Heat flooded her cheeks as she remembered that night and how easily he'd had her nearly begging for him.

Loki smirked then, seeming to know her thoughts' divergence, and she looked away from him in an attempt to shield herself from him.

"Jane, look at me." He whispered the words gently and they echoed in her mind, overlapping with the same ones he'd spoken that night.

When Jane looked at him, he was closer than he'd been before. He locked eyes with her as he closed the remainder of the distance between them. Even knowing that submitting to him now would only make it hurt that much more to leave him later, Jane couldn't refuse him. She closed her eyes as his lips finally met hers, a shiver shooting through her at the soft caress. The last of her will shattered completely, as she gave herself over to a moment she prayed would never end.

Jane whimpered as he deepened the kiss, tightening her legs around his waist reflexively. Loki pushed her back onto the bed without ceasing his kiss, but suddenly drew back to look down at her.

Jane was flushed and panting, her eyes swimming as she gazed up at him. Why had he stopped? Were they not even allowed this as a goodbye?

"You're _mine_ ," he stated and asked. A lance of pain shot through her and though she was tempted, Jane knew she couldn't deny it.

"Always." A tear broke free and ran into the hair below her temple. The agony of always being his and _never_ being his tore against one another within her, tearing her apart.

"As I am yours," he replied firmly, his voice lowering as he added, "if you'll have me."

Jane stared up at him as if not understanding the punchline of a joke he'd told her, stunned stupid as she blinked vacantly.

Loki smiled at her shocked expression and brought her hand up to his lips, kissing each of her fingertips tantalizingly. A ring appeared on her ring finger as he paused there: a large emerald marquis supported by two golden serpents, one on either side of the giant gem.

Jane stared at it in wonder, unable to release a sound.

Loki chuckled quietly. "So silent, my queen? Even after I went to the special effort of abiding by your Midgardian rituals?"

Seeing she was still catatonic, Loki leaned down and kissed along her neck sensually. Jane erupted with a shiver as he broke through her daze at last. "Queen?" she whispered, voice disbelieving yet heartbreakingly hopeful.

His smile broadened as he pulled back to look at her. "Not right away, but in time, yes. Your answer?"

Still beyond belief, Jane felt herself stutter in a moment that, had she dared believe possible, she imagined she would have shown no hesitation.

"Is this real?" she found herself asking instead of answering.

"Oh, yes. Odin made you like us so that you could remain by my side. Where he approves no other will dare challenge," he assured, seeing the doubt still in her eyes. When Jane only continued to stare up at him in bewilderment, he leaned back down, kissing along her neck until he reached her ear. "Your answer?" he repeated huskily, tugging lightly on her earlobe before moving back down to her neck to bite down gently.

That seemed to snap her out of it and a moan escaped her as she arched up against him. " _Yes_."

Loki groaned and ground against her in response, then growled as a loud knock sounded on the door.

Jane nearly giggled at the murderous look in his eyes, a pang of disappointment piercing her as well as he stood to answer the door.

Loki jerked the door open, looking ready to murder whoever stood on the other side, only to find Frigga standing there. Jane noticed him deflate at the sight of his mother, while she shot up in the bed and did her best to appear less ravished then she imagined she looked to be at that moment.

"Your father wants to hold a feast tonight to commemorate your succession," Frigga informed him with a slight apologetic tone. "I thought you'd appreciate some warning to prepare."

"Yes, of course. Thank you, mother," Loki replied patiently, yet Jane still heard the edge in his voice.

He was about to close the door when Frigga spoke again. "I have something for Jane as well, if you can spare her." The apologetic tone had faded from her voice as a bit of mirth replaced it instead.

Jane couldn't help but smile as she saw the tension in Loki's frame ratchet up another notch, yet he remained calm despite it. She loved seeing how considerate he was towards his mother, even when he didn't want to be.

Loki nodded reluctantly for Jane to follow his mother, and Jane happily complied, thankful for a bit of a respite to allow her unbelievable reality to sink in a little. Loki gripped her wrist as she passed him, and leaned down to whisper in her ear.

"Consider this a _brief_ reprieve." Jane nearly gulped at the heated promise in his eyes, and nodded mutely before hastening after Frigga.

* * *

Author's note: Sorry this chapter was a little short as well. As I've approached the end of this story, it's been giving me more and more trouble (as I'm sure you can tell by my lengthy absences). I think I may be finally conquering my writer's block though, and I expect to have the next chapter out soon. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, to all of you that have stayed with me throughout this journey so far. This is the first long fanfiction I've written, so it's been a new experience for me to run into writer's block (like a brick wall), so I appreciate your patience as I grapple to climb over that wall. And THANK YOU for over 200 follows! I love you all!

Oh! And I hope I caught some of you off-guard with the development in this chapter. I nearly named it "Queen" before I realized I didn't want to give it away. I think the new title worked even better, as both Loki and Jane fight to believe that all of this could be real. :)


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